I know some people will think this will sound selfish but I don't need judging I have enough guilt as it is. So here goes :
my mother is 85 and lives 150 miles away; there is only me and her and I feel obligated; she has dementia - still knows who I am but gets very confused and disorientated; she struggles with stairs and walking more than a few yards; she lives alone in a tiny one bedroom apartment and has carers attend 4 times each day.
I have brought her to stay with me for Christmas week but it is very hard going for the reasons above. She has gotten distressed a few times because she is confused about where she is etc. She also has to use the stairs here for the bathroom and bedroom and really struggles with this. There is no way she can sleep downstairs - tiny house.
I really don't think that there is much quality in her being here and want to do.it differently next year.
I can't stay at hers as nowhere to sleep except in the chair. My 18 year old daughter is at her dad's this year but should be with me next year. I am also at the beginning of a new relationship and hope that we will still be together next year.
How can I meet everyone's needs without feeling guilty? Would it be awful to stay at my mum's the weekend after Christmas on my own and celebrate with her then? I need some possible ideas of how I can make it enjoyable for everyone as this year it isn't. Obviously I don't know how the dementia will have progressed by next Christmas.