Christmas Jokes

[Mysterian]

How did Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

Deep pan, crisp and even.

Share your cracker jokes here!

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?

A Holly Davidson!

Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?

He was picking his nose.

I'm rubbish at jokes. You've made me giggle though, thank you .

What's the difference between snow men and snow women? Snowballs

When I bought my Christmas tree the shopkeeper asked if I was putting it up myself. "No" I replied. "I'm putting it up in my house."

Lol!

We're having a Brexit Xmas dinner tomorrow - it's like a normal Xmas dinner but without brussels.

More more!

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a cracker.
Pull the other one.

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?

He got 25 days!

What does Scrooge do when it's cold?
He sits round a candle.

What does Scrooge do when it's VERY cold?
He lights the candle.

Did you hear Lilets have made a tampon with tinsel instead of string - just for the Christmas period.

My very favourite joke: what do you call a three-legged donkey?
A wonky.

What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg?

Limp Biscuit.

What do you call a gingerbread man with one leg?

Limp Biscuit.

What do you call a cat on a beach on Christmas Day?

Sandy Claws.

How do you prepare your turkey for Christmas?

I just tell it straight it’s gonna die.