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Such a change from last year (not-so stealth boast)

26 replies

ShadowWeaver · 24/12/2019 18:29

This time last year I was miserable. In a relationship with absolutely no intimacy at all, no kisses or cuddles, he was (is!) a grumpy fart. Me and the kids used to sit in our respective bedrooms all the time as the living room was his room (he slept in there by choice too) and he was constantly moaning about something or other. I felt totally stuck with him for various reasons.

In January I grew some balls and broke up with him. It wasn't pretty and he didnt move out straight away (complicated).

I've since met a new fella and he couldn't be more unlike ex if he tried. He loves the kids as his own already (and I his) he always suggests we watch family movies together, play games, go out places etc. He is so affectionate with me and always hugs the kids (which is just lovely, ex never did) and so much other stuff I just never thought I/we would have. I guess I'm writing this as a message that if you are unhappy, don't think you can't leave. You can and you will both find happiness. (Ex is with a lady and he's totally a changed man, trying to start a relationship with the kids-though I fear it's too late for the eldest)

Merry Christmas x

OP posts:
user1019273703 · 24/12/2019 18:31

Thats such a lovely post to read! Hope this will be next year! (Already separated and its been messy) and I am ready to meet somebody at last.!

Wintercoats · 24/12/2019 18:32

Good for you OP! I love this post. This time of year can be awful in certain circumstances, it's great to hear a positive story. Merry Christmas, and I hope that things continue on such a brilliant route.

LisaSimpsonsbff · 24/12/2019 18:36

You split up in January, he still lived with you for a while and by December you have a new boyfriend he 'loves the kids as his own'? Oof

Biscusting · 24/12/2019 18:38

😳

ShadowWeaver · 24/12/2019 18:43

Yep that's what I wrote, but hey, thanks for putting a downer on my 1st truly happy Christmas in about 8 years Wine

OP posts:
Wereallsquare · 24/12/2019 18:51

You won't like this OP, but LisaSimpsonbff wrote exactly what I was thinking. Enjoy your Christmas! Genuinely hope things work out for you.

mbosnz · 24/12/2019 19:05

Sometimes magic happens, right place, right people, right time. . .

Merry Christmas OP, it's lovely you're having such a good one. Enjoy.

patchworkpatty · 24/12/2019 19:05

THaT OP is because MN is full of judgemental idiots who have set some form of arbitrary 'rules' that you MUST adhere to ... and god forbid you are happy if you stray from the path.

But I say GOOD FOR YOU. Sometimes you just know. I was married in a loveless relationship. I also finally made the move . My Ex husband was still in the house when i met my OH..

We met, I met his 4 and him my 4 after six weeks . We moved in together 3 months later. We married 18 months later. I am currently sitting here with DH, my dc and his.. enjoying a lovely Christmas Eve. The 15th we have spent together. We are all very very happy and love spending time together. They are now 18, 20, 22, 22, 23, 24 and 25... and have just spent 2 hours playing monopoly and having the loveliest time.

You enjoy OP. It can and does work with the right man ..

ShadowWeaver · 24/12/2019 19:10

Thank you PatchWorkPatty. Everything fits so well, I'm pretty sure we'll be happy together for a long, long time. And even if not I can look back on this time with happiness

OP posts:
ReadyPayerTwo · 24/12/2019 19:37

That's wonderful news - Merry Christmas!!

BananaBeforeBed · 24/12/2019 19:39

I’m glad you ate happy @ShadowWeaver - Merry Christmas

BananaBeforeBed · 24/12/2019 19:39

*are

Dowser · 24/12/2019 20:30

I knew in 5 weeks or less dh was the one
He met kids on third date
Together 11 years , married for ,4
He wasn’t getting away in a hurry.
Would e quite happily nailed his feet to the floor
Sometimes it just feels right ...because it is

ShadowWeaver · 24/12/2019 23:53

Dowser, that's how I felt. Usually I would chat for a few weeks before meeting, but with dp it was only 2 days. We just clicked. My kids love him (because he is doing dad stuff their real dad never did) his kids love coming here, it just all fits perfectly

OP posts:
Yerbumsootthewindae · 25/12/2019 00:08

Oh that is lovely, Merry Christmas to you and your family Xmas Smile

GlummyMcGlummerson · 25/12/2019 05:14

When I read your OP I just knew somebody would get all cats-bum mouth about the fact your boyfriend has met, and likes, your kids. In MN world you have to be together for 5 years , with adult children before you even think about introducing your OH to them. In the real world a more realistic approach is fine. In so happy for you OP, good for you! Enjoy Christmas!!

Spotty528 · 25/12/2019 07:12

Hope you have a lovely Christmas. My friend split from her DH in March (kids are 8 and 10) and had her new fella (who she’d been having an affair with) move in my beginning of November. Very hard not to judge, they do seem happy though.

elmosducks · 25/12/2019 07:46

DH and I had our first date in January, (I had a nasty break up in the November) and we were married the following December. That was 17 years ago. Not sure why it should be anything other than celebrated, tbh.

OP, merry Christmas! Here's to many more happy times, you and the kids deserve nothing less. X

caranxy · 25/12/2019 07:50

Lovely post. Happy Christmas x

Bluerussian · 25/12/2019 08:02

Have a lovely Christmas, ShadowWeaver, and many more of them! Enjoy what you have right now.

(I imagine you've been with your fella for about six months and he hasn't moved in with you.)

Womenwotlunch · 25/12/2019 08:19

Lovely post
For all those posting about the length of the relationship. Sometimes you just know when things are right.
Op, I hope that this posts gives other women the courage to end miserable relationships.

ChocAuVin · 25/12/2019 08:29

Well done and merry Christmas Xmas Smile

shiveringsparklingtimber · 25/12/2019 08:48

So happy for you, OP! Ignore the negative comments. Some people can't resist spoiling others good fortune. Give your OH a big hug from me!

Spotty528 · 25/12/2019 09:05

I think it’s just when there’s children involved, you don’t what them to become attached too early on for things to then go wrong but you know your own children best and if they’re happy then that’s what counts.

PhoenixReincarnated · 25/12/2019 11:50

Happy Christmas @ShadowWeaver and may there be many more Xmas Smile