Saying it here so I don't say it out loud.

[Glentherednosedbattleostrich]

Disclaimer! I like my MIL, she is ill with vascular dementia and I am being very understanding and lovely to her before anyone says how awful I am. However I need to vent so I remain lovely and sweet to her.

We have MIL staying for Christmas. We have been to our home town to visit my family and to collect her. We spent most of yesterday with MIL and all of today. She is here until Friday.

She was diagnosed earlier this year with vascular dementia and is losing her short term memory. She is thankfully past the angry aggressive stage.

Since yesterday, we have had the same conversation on a 40 minute loop.

She keeps taking her ear rings out and putting them back in (I can't bear watching this, it is something which makes me feel genuinely I'll I have a huge thing about skin being punctured, faint when given injections etc)

She keeps trying to feed my dog junk food. Now she gets little tastes but only things which are ok for her. She has no understanding of safe foods for dogs.

She constantly makes noise, humming, tapping, muttering. There is no silence.

She wanders into my bedroom, she has a lovely guest room with en suite but she insists on wandering in.

I'm hiding in the kitchen regularly prepping food for tomorrow and I'm taking pooch for lots of short walks with my friends (who also have in law's visiting.). We are seriously considering smuggling gin and crisps out and hiding in the park!!!

I am very aware this could be her last Christmas with us as her health is deteriorating and she is disappearing, although I hope it's not. So I am pasting on the smile and being a wonderful host bit fucking hell, she's driving me nuts!!! Just needed to get it out.

Oh and dementia is a bastard.

Thank you @ParkheadParadise

This one is probably going to be the last vaguely normal one. And I’m going to cherish it. Just in case.

ParkheadParadise yes it sems to really help doesnt it.im glad she had her doll.

FredaFrogspawn
oh god yes that face.so pained.im sorry for you too.keep safe

you sound lovely, OP. Sending you strength and a strong shoulder to lean on. What a hard road. For her, and for you.

My dad has Huntington's disease and is very much in the dementia stage, so I do sympathise. You're not a terrible person AT ALL, it's shatteringly difficult and if it helps to post on here, vent away. Hope you all manage to have a lovely Christmas, you're doing so well and probably treating her with far more patience and kindness than most would!

No judgment here. My mum lasted for 3 or 4 years with gradually deteriorating vascular dementia. She was much worse outside of her own home, much more confused. The memory loss was just part of it. She got lost in her own hallucinations. Things she was imagining to try to make sense of the world became very real. They weren’t always nice ‘false memories’ either. Just be kind, go with the flow, don’t argue or disagree with her, just distract her on to something else. My mum was still charmed by her great-grandD which was a lovely thing to see.

Dementia is horrible. A little gin goes a long way in making such an awful thing more bearable :)

Please don’t feel guilty, it’s normal to feel irritated by it. Dementia is incredibly difficult to watch.

My grandmother has dementia and sounds at a similar stage, the repeated conversations on a loop are exhausting. I find short visits hard work so having her stay with you for the week must be very challenging, but I’m sure she is appreciative of having you all around.

Pour yourself that gin, make it a double. Hope you all have a lovely day tomorrow.

Thanks for the support. You are all amazing. I'm so sorry to those of you also going through this.