Why is golfing a red flag for relationships?

[velvetnose]

My DH plays golf. Apparently this is a red flag. Why?

Meh - my parents were both keen golfers and it gave them a joint and individual interest, as well as a social life and ficus for holidays. Doesn’t tend to be a daily occupation ( at least pre retirement ) unlike training for triathlons or cycling etc

I thought it was fishing.

My friends do plays golf and goes fishing. Although I reckon it's mainly a cover up for affairs.

It’s an a activity that can take a long time. My friends BF used to play golf both days at the weekend so what was the point in dating . They came to an agreement and all ok now. Gaming is often slated on here but that’s because some will game all day and night. I gamed for one hour yesterday but MIL and DS were in bed and DH was doing his annual art session painting cards. It’s consideration of others when having a hobby.

I am delighted that my DH plays golf and actually has a hobby that gets him out of the house, the thought of being married to someone who had no interests, no hobbies would be awful.
Of course that doesn't mean that he doesn't share the chores, child care etc ... often you read on here that men don't pull their weight, not because they are out playing golf, cycling, whatever ... because they are just sitting on their backsides.

The hobby itself is irrelevant, could be anything.

What is relevant is that it's a hobby that can take up a lot of time, leaving partners to do childcare alone a lot of the time while not getting the chance of time to themselves; can take up money, which can be a problem if funds are tight and other things are needed; and can also be used as cover for affairs.

I suspect the bit that upsets most partners who post about their OH's hobbies, is that they are frequently left doing the childcare, chores, etc, which the hobbyist swans off doing their thing. I've seen plenty of threads where the OP might be working, caring for DC, running the household and doing all the chores, and the OH is out several nights for the hobby and lots of the weekend too. It's like the OH isn't part of the family and that's what bothers many OPs, rightly so.

Isn’t cycling the hobby that must never be named because it’s too identifying?

I think the thing is, you rarely hear of a woman who fucks off alone for a hobby evening/weekends/holidays and leaves the husband to look after the house and kids alone.

We all know why that is and it’s something that will
Never change.

I just like to swing in on these threads with my username

Dogging as a hobby would definitely be a red flag. Unless that's your sort of thing.

@MissSueDenim ...... me too!!