Anyone Nc with family, worried about my friend

[Bitchbadgerplease]

My friend has just gone no contact with her abusive, violent mother. She is going to be alone at xmas. She wasnt for having me visit on xmas day and she's a 2 hr drive from me and I'm really worried about her. How can I help? Ive given advice to do something, volunteer, have a plan for the day, her 'mum' Is likely to telephone her so I have tried to help her with that. What advice would you give? Can I help in any other way?

It's lovely that you are so aware and willing to help your friend. I would say just be on hand for her in case she wants to talk. If you can have your phone on you on the day, then keep it on you and let her know she can call. Honestly, that's it. She may want to talk on the day but she may also just need to hibernate.

Your poor friend. I agree with pp, make it clear she can call or text at any time. Particularly if her mother tries to contact her and she feels frightened or overwhelmed and needs to talk to someone friendly. Could you maybe make a plan to see her soon so she has something to look forward to? Maybe try and spend New Year together?
If she would company on Christmas day Salvation Army are usually open for lunch and other organisations near her may be doing something.

I agree that a New Year visit might be really good, if she wants to have company (if she doesn't, it's not at all personal: she will be grieving and that can be an odd process, especially when the other party is alive). I am on my third Christmas alone and my solution is just not to celebrate it and treat it like another day as far as I can, but I have a friend coming to visit me over NY and it takes a lot of the sting out of what is, by nature, a bit of a melancholy time.

You're already doing lots, OP, and I am certain that you are helping her just by being in touch and showing her that somebody wants to share Christmas with her. That's hugely important and she is fortunate in you.

Thank you all. I'm skint but ive sent her some presents so she has things to open just little things but she says she has nobody else sending anything so that will help.

Her mum is a poisonous vindictive character. My friend is close to her mums mum though, and this year received a crappy multitpack xmas card whereas normally would get a thoughtful, hand written 'granddaughter 'card so she is more upset now knowing her mum has talked to her gran and got her side of events in. I'm working NYE ( I work night shifts) but have said I'll see her over the festive period ( and I will do). I hate this sort of thing, I feel so sorry for her.

Trust me, OP, that you know her situation, believe her and want to help will mean an incredible amount to her. And the little presents will mean a lot, too. Going NC with a parent, even such a blatantly awful one, can really shake your whole self-belief to the core. So having a friend who is 100% on your side really is sustaining. You are doing so much for her by being there.

I'm really sorry to hear that her grandmother seems to have been taken in. If it's any consolation, poisonous people often get carried away and show their true colours. Let's hope it happens here, too.