I need a Christmas joke that's actually funny! Does such a thing exist?

[turkeyontheplate]

In the never-ending quest to keep cynical teens engaged, we've spiced up the advent calendar this year (painted wooden truck with drawers) by adding a joke or a festive fact each day as well as a bit of Christmas tat

I've got as far as Christmas Eve and I just can't find a decent joke....have used all the passable ones I could find online, most of which weren't actually funny. Does anyone know one that actually made them laugh? Rude is fine

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One snowman to the other snowman, "can you smell carrots?"

Q: How many American police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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A: None they just beat the room for being black.

Oh.... It's not a Christmas joke

I've brought my mom a prosthetic leg for Christmas it's not her main present just a stocking filler.

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.

From my 8 yo DS. Which he thinks are hilarious but you may not agree..

How does Santa like his pizza?
Deep and crisp and even

I thought was was in a snowman’s graveyard. But it was just a field full of carrots

What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the normal alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has “no-el”

Darth Vader says to Luke, "I know what you're getting for Christmas" "How do you know?!" "Luke, I felt your presents"

CliffsofMoher I've already used that one!

I love the devil-worshipper one, but it might be a bit dark for Christmas Eve...

Why did the snowman get into trouble for looking through the vegetable rack? He was picking his nose!

How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? Look for the fresh prints.....

I'm off to my works Christmas do at the urology department.
It's bring a bottle.

Why does Santa always come through the chimney?
Because he knows better than to try the back door.

Why was the snowman smiling?
He could see the snowblower coming down the street.

What do priests and Christmas trees have in common?
Their balls are just ornamental.

Why is Santa so damn jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

What’s the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs.

Why doesn’t Santa have kids of his own?
He only comes once a year.

Why did the Snowman want a divorce?
Because his wife was a total flake.

What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?
Santa was smart enough to stop at three hos.

What’s the most disappointing thing for a man on Christmas morning?
When he gets a sweater, but he’s hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

What's the difference between a Christmas tree and a man?
A Christmas tree will stay up for 12 nights, has cute balls and looks good with the lights on.

Q: What do snowmen do at the weekend?
A: chill

Where does Santa go on holiday?
To a Ho-ho-hotel

A young couple are out for a stroll in communist Russia. Something begins to fall from the sky and the man exclaims “look dear, it’s raining!”

“No, no” says the woman “it’s snowing!”

The two of them start to argue about whether it’s raining or snowing until the man sees their friend and says “let’s ask Comrade Rudolf what he thinks!”

So they ask and he confirms that it’s raining. As they’re asking away the man says “ I told you, Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear”

I have a feminist one:

How is Christmas just like any other day at the office?

You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.