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Poor old dh

4 replies

Holymolymackerel · 22/12/2019 20:19

We have had our monthly one hour visit from pils. My dh has, as normal, now sunk to an all time low.

Dh is nc with brother for 6 years. Whilst they were here, mil took a call from her other dil, gushing about Christmas, all whilst DC were singing a song from their school play. She then told fil all about the phone call.

They both ignored DC, especially fil. Mil didnt react when dh told her about some health issue he is having investigated. Refused a cuppa, seemed disinterested about dc and talked about their other grandchildren and anybody else including dh cousin who is successful academically (phds and author) rather than just a masters as dh.

Again, it's made dh feel like shit again, just like it has all his life. Like saying you don't need a double bed, you'll never have a wife (before me) or I wish you were a girl, I always wanted a girl.

How do I help my dh? Our DC are starting to notice now too. It affects me too, to hear the way she spoke so lovingly on the phone to sil.

OP posts:
Elbeagle · 22/12/2019 20:20

Simple. Don’t see them.

Gemma2019 · 22/12/2019 21:04

Go completely NC with them. I've done it, you feel a bit sad for a bit but nowadays I feel so free and relieved that I don't have toxic people around anymore.

CFlemingSmith · 22/12/2019 21:06

Second what others have said, cut contact. They will make the effort if they want to and DC aren’t missing out on anything if they’re that bad

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Butterymuffin · 22/12/2019 21:07

Agree, stop bothering with them. Do they initiate the visits to yours?

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