Eating disorder at Christmas support

[Shookethtothecore]

Hello- I have been bullimic for 15 years. I would say it’s mostly under control, but find this time fo year very difficult. I was just wondering if there was anyone else here that could give eachother some support.
It’s a stressful time of year for most, but I cannot remeber a Christmas where I havnt purged. I’d like to be a bit more relaxed about extra calories this time of year, but this year is extra hard as I’m over tired and carrying a bit of extra baby weight from my 13 week old baby.
People don’t realise how hard having food issues can be, so thought it would be beneficial to help eachother through it.

Meeeee. Binge eating disorder currently. Did have non purging bulimia but since last November I have not been able to stop binging and have stopped the excessive excercising and restriction.

2 weeks binge free, brain over binge massively helpless me and listening to podcasts. Also do OA as I have had success with AA but not sure even though I believe so much in AA.

Are you breastfeeding?

If you are, you could try visualising what you eat as giving you the milk to feed your baby.

Can anyone recommend a helpful podcast?

A help-yourself style meal may seem like a good idea because it would mean someone could pick and choose more easily. Certainly, this may help some people but personally it filled me with terror. SO MUCH FOOD! If worried about urges to binge, it may be easier to have, instead, a serving table or area where you can get your plate filled that is separate from the eating area. Then sitting down at a table to eat you don’t have the panic of someone putting extra unwanted food on your plate or asking about the food on the table as a conversation starter. It also allows you to supervise the portion size before sitting down, and the task ahead is known.
Another good idea is to have some games at the table for during the meal to distract from the act of eating or have the radio on. We used a set of liar dice to pass around while other people were finishing their food. A pre-rehearsed response to chat about food is also a good idea so you can cut off what may be a tricky subject. An agreement not to talk about food at the table before the meal often helps and is again a guideline to stick to.
once dinner is over, shift the focus on to other activities like playing games or watching a family film.
Think of a list of things that you could do at different times during Christmas Day so you’ll always have an idea to go to at a time of distress. These could be games to play, people to video-call, films to watch, a Christmas quiz or other activities that you enjoy or interest you. For me, decision-making when in an emotionally charged moment seems impossible, so I think of ideas ahead of time and write them on slips of card, then shuffle them and do whatever the top card suggests. I would agree this with my family and we all did the activity together.
An eating disorder tries to take over every aspect of life and by doing some of the things you normally do on Christmas day you can reduce its power and grip. Feel the fear and do it anyway! If you want a mince pies at tea time, still have one, but clear them away and don’t leave them on the side with the aura of fear floating over them.
You could agree on a sign to discreetly show when you need support and encouragement, either during a meal or socially, e.g. playing with a tangle-toy/phone above the table.

Thank you- some excellent ideas here also interested in podcasts. We have a big party Boxing Day and everything gets eaten and drunk then by our friends, anything left goes to the food bank. My mother in law is a nightmare and then brings over bin bags of chocolates ect and she causes me stress my way so that sets me off. We are very low contact with her and if I can get through that day I’ll be ok. I’m not breastfeeding I couldn’t not restrict my calories 🙈 but my children are healthy and I am way better than I was, it’s just this time of year makes me feel overwhelmed and I always have a wobble. It’s strange because I love it and I love entertaining it’s just so much on my “do not eat” list that is impossible to avoid

Hello- just checking in. I have non specified eating disorder with anorexia features.

It's hard so far not planning meals and I have indulged in chocolates. The thought of scales atm is making me tearful.

Thanks for this thread op. How are you coping?

Well I was sick earlier- but it’s because I have picked today and my children are mega excited and playing up and I feel stressed. I have made clear plans over the next few days and find that helps. I’m also around lovely friends and I think to myself- if they can enjoy Christmas so can I

There's a podcast on bbc sounds about food addiction

www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p07vg80l

DP has an ED and I had one a long time ago that's generally managed quite well - his behaviours can be very triggering at times, however. Mine is more orthorexic in nature, whereas his is more AN, with binges followed by extreme restriction.

Instead of just being the things associated with Christmas that are heavy or very calorifically dense, there are lots of fresh fruit, veg and drinks that are light and easily digestible - eating chocolate or biscuits makes me feel sick and miserable, whereas a handful of fresh strawberries and some yoghurt tastes great and is easier on the stomach/blood sugar levels, even before you consider calorific values. DP can either eat the sweet things or, if he starts feeling uncomfortable, he can switch to the 'safe' things I've got.

We've got lots of drinks as well - such as elderflower or Rose Lemonade, as they have a lot of flavour - and plenty of indigestion remedies/herbs/herbal teas to help with any feelings of being overfull or nauseous.

Finally, the meals themselves have lots of 'safe' veggies and we add the things we want as and when we can, using smaller plates and over a longer period - there's no expectation to eat tons all in one short period and then have snacks and sweets more or less constantly in between more massive meals. And there's plenty of storage so that 90% of it can be safely stored in the fridge or freezer until another time, so no guilt about wastage.

I wouldn't feel any guilt about getting rid of additional chocolate and biscuits afterwards. I'm not going to be eating them and DP is welcome to take them into work if he wants, but if they are left here to sit there staring at me go stale, they'll go into the bin.

Another thing I'd suggest is having an escape - if it's getting suffocating, we go out. Even cold and wet fresh air is better than staying inside feeling trapped.

The biggest challenge for us is going to be sitting at the table and actually seeing one another eat. But it's a nice thing to do and we're definitely going to try, even if we end up sitting down in front of the TV not looking or being looked at after the first couple of mouthfuls.

In short, we are taking it as a break from everyday life, to enjoy each other's company, rather than as something with expectations to meet and endure.

Brain over binge podcast helped me

This is my first Christmas post out patient discharge and I'm struggling already.
I have suffered from AN for years and this time of year always seems the hardest.
I'm slowly falling back into bad habits with constant weighing and restricting/self induced vomiting.
I think the general idea of over indulging plays heavily on my mind and makes me even more determined/anxious to refrain.
It's a shitty thing, having disordered eating and I feel for everyone who suffers in whatever form.

@slavetothemoney your not alone, it’s a horrible thing to live with and people don’t understand how all consuming it can be. I understand, wish you all the best