Is it ok to be '' off 'with sister.

[VictoriaBun]

I'm probably going to be flamed here, but here's the story :
Sister 36 , not married, good career, lots of holidays etc.
Has been in a relationship for about 2 years. Has been talking to me about time running out for starting a family, wants a family etc.
Relationship hits a bad patch, tells mum and me she's going to give it a few months to see how it goes ( that was August )
October realises she pregnant. Umms and ahhs. about relationship, partner isn't very keen but says we'll just to get on with it. She starts to discuss possible names for it.
Suddenly she finishes the relationship, saying it won't work etc.
Still discussing pregnancy , how she feels , her plans etc, just usual new mum to be chat.
My mum phones me up to tell me she's now booked herself into clinic to have a termination on 2nd Jan, she will be 14 weeks by then .
I can't help but think she's doing this because on the grape vine her ex is in contact with his last gf .
I know her body ,her choice and all that.
But I can't help but think she is really going to regret this and it will mess her up.

Please don't be off with her, or question her or any of that.

She's told you she wants a family and feels that time is running out. She falls pregnant and despite her desire for a family has decided to book in a termination. It sounds like she's thought a lot about this and I can't imagine it will have been an easy decision to make at all.

I actually think it's normal to worry for her OP.
OP knows her sister better than us and maybe she can foresee how this story will end.

But all you can do is deal with her decisions. You don't have to allow her to burden her. Be as supportive as you choose to be.

YWBVVU to be off with your sister. As PP have said, she needs your love and support, not your judgement. But, I’d also be worried she was rushing into something she might regret because of the emotions around the break-up, so I’d probably try to have a talk with her - not telling her what to do, but just giving her a chance to talk about how she’s feeling and what all her options are.

Good lord.
The poor woman is pregnant and has no partner, doesn't want to be a single parent nor have a parenting relationship with the bloke she split up with, so she decided it's not the right time to become a mother. Why on earth wouldn't you support her?
Seems to me she's making a sensible decision about her future in difficult circumstances.

Don’t be a dick!

OP I feel that the fact that your sister is pregnant and alone with an ex who is already sniffing around someone else (which makes him a prize cunt) is a perfectly good reason not to wish to continue the pregnancy

Why the hell would you be off with her when she’s going through something so traumatic?!

Genuinely shocked at the selfishness and judgemental approach.

Yours, not hers!

You don't know she will regret this. You strongly suspect. Have you tried discussing that with her in a calm and supportive manner. You may have expressed yourself sub-optimally by saying 'off with her' but I think this does actually also suggest that you are judging and angry with her. I think you need to have an honest reflection about your feelings to work some things out for yourself before you can be supportive to your sister at this difficult time for her.

Having an unplanned pregnancy and knowing you're going to be raising the child alone is a terrifying feeling. It's not for you to make an assumption about how your sister will feel after the abortion.

I don't think it's okay to be off with her if you're pro-choice. It's incredibly hard to look after a baby and then a child especially if she'll be doing it alone so it seems like a sensible choice to me. I think you should be supporting her because this much be a really hard time for her.

Don't be a cunt. There's no excuse. I have no idea what you think this would achieve? Or is it just nastiness for punishment?

If you feel this, talk to her. Offer her support. She needs to know its possible without the boyfriend.