Christmas - Essential Reading for Parents

[Kbear]

I copied this from a friend's facebook but good advice needs to be shared - Have a good Christmas everyone xxx

Right then here goes... ANNUAL RANT ALERT!!
Triggered by adverts and TV chefs😠😠
Christmas Dinner....
I have concluded that the inevitable stress of Christmas dinner is created by adverts, supermarkets and TV chefs...

It's a Sunday dinner for goodness sake!!! We do it quite happily 51 weeks of the year but can we the consumers be trusted to manage by ourselves on one day of the year...apparently not!
Here goes...

1. Turkey... It's a big blooming chicken that's all, 20 minutes per lb plus 20 minutes at 180 degrees - jobs a good un! Get yourselves a meat thermometer £3 off the Internet poke it in the offending bird if it says 75 degrees or over its cooked!

1. Stuffing - regardless of what Jamie Oliver says you do NOT need 2lbs of shoulder of pork, onions breadcrumbs,pine nuts and a shit load of fresh herbs to make stuffing....( no wonder he's bankrupt if thats what he spends to make stuffing!)

What you need is Paxo and a kettle!! If you wanna liven it up squeeze 3 sausages out of their skins and mix that in with your Paxo before cooking 😉.

1. Gravy - Jamie Oliver is copping for this one aswell....

Bisto Jamie.... All you need is Bisto! I ( nor any other woman I know) has got time on Christmas Eve to mess about roasting chicken wings and vegetables, adding stock and flour,cooking it for another half hour, mashing it all up with a potato masher and then straining the whole sorry mess to make gravy 😠😠😠

1. Vegetables... Never mind faffing round shredding sprouts and frying them with bacon and chestnuts to make them more palatable... If you don't like them don't buy and cook the blooming things!! If your family only eats frozen peas then that's good enough!

1. Roast potatoes... Yes I par boil mine then roast them in goose fat but Aunt Bessie also does the same 😉.

1. Trimmings /Christmas pudding and the like.... Aldi or Lidl!

(oh and while we're on the subject of pudding- if birds custard is what your family likes on the wretched thing then that's fine - you do not need brandy butter /rum sauce etc or anything else that costs a fortune and takes 2 hours to make!)

1. Family....

Children.. Feed the little blighters first separately, if they only want turkey with tomato sauce - fine leave em to it, it doesn't matter. Once they are fed let them clear off to play with their Christmas presents so that YOU can enjoy your dinner in Peace!

Adults... Anyone that can manage to get their sorry arse to your dinner table is also capable of helping to serve up/ sort the kids out/ clear the table /wash up /dry up etc.

And Finally.....

NO ONE.... And I mean no one APART FROM THE COOK IS ALLOWED TO GET DRUNK AND FALL ASLEEP BEFORE THE WASHING UP IS DONE!!!

Rant over 😂
Merry Christmas!!.. 😜🤣

I never see the point in making anything homemade unless it tastes better than shop bought..

Most of DH’s homemade stuff tastes better than shop bought, IMO. Gravy, cauliflower cheese, roast potatoes, braised red cabbage... definitely better than any shop bought versions I’ve had.

We will have Bisto gravy and aunt Bessie Yorkshire puds. We won’t have stuffing as we are having beef not turkey. I’m making sherry trifle using ready made custard and frozen berries.
Dh will be doing the beef outside on the bbq as he always does.

Gravy, cauliflower cheese, roast potatoes, braised red cabbage

I agree with these things.

Items which aren't worth making yourself, for me are

Pastry
Christmas cake
Christmas pudding
Cranberry sauce

We don’t have those things anyway formerbabe. No need for cranberry sauce as we don’t have turkey, none of us like Christmas cake or Christmas pudding. We definitely use shop bought pastry!

We’ve bought Asda’s puff pastry for the pie dh always makes on Boxing Day (uses up the leftover meat).

I'm sharing this in case there are some people that would benefit from my total cheat.

I preorder our Christmas Dinner from Cook!

It's posh. Delicious. Far nicer than I can be arsed making and basically just involves me putting things in and out of the oven on Christmas Day.

Frees me up to sit in the sofa and play with my son.

It's turkey ( posh stuffing of that helps), proper turkey gravy, Goose fat roast potatoes, Parmesan roast parsnips, chantenay braised carrots, pigs in blankets, shredded sprouts with chestnut and bacon.

Also less money than doing it all myself to equivalent poshness from scratch.

I'm not making any kind of point but if you are similiarly inclined to have a chilled yet traditional Christmas it's been perfect for 4 years.

I never see the point in making anything homemade unless it tastes better than shop bought

It often tastes better or more to your taste but a lot of people enjoy cooking. I know I do. Christmas music on, everybody helps, kitchen/diner is where the children and guests are anyway so you're not holed up away from all the fun, the children like cooking and have their own little jobs so feel pride in the meal. It's an integral part of Christmas. I'm not hosting this year, it's my Mum's turn and I really miss it. I did make the pudding though and again, it was a lovely afternoon, reminded me of doing the same with my granny. Music on, sneaking bits of the ingredients, everybody stirring and making a wish. It's part of our traditions.

Paxo, bisto and freezer Yorkshire puddings are in my house.
Peeling the potatoes is a faff but as it's only me cooking it for three of us it doesn't take me long.

Pack and bisto.... yuk. Ready made stuff fine thigh if you don't want the faff of making your own.