@SexlessBoulderBelly without actually having seen the scans and listened to your health care professionals have their discussions, I can only give you general information. By what you describe, it appears you have a small for gestational age baby (SGA) which is likely IUGR (intra-uterine growth restricted). This seems to have been caused by abnormal flow of blood from the placenta: for some reason not enough blood is reaching the baby, which is resulting in slower growth and a baby who may be experiencing a degree of oxygen deprivation already.
The degree of stress your baby has been through is hard to determine. I assume you're having frequent ultrasound scans and that they are regularly measuring estimated fetal weight, abdominal circunference, head circumference, femur length and dopplers in several vessels, which indicate the flow of blood the baby is receiving. In these cases it is very, very difficult to decide at which point to deliver the baby, and CS is often the chosen method because it avoids the distress of labour on a baby who is already compromised. Risk of damage and stillbirth increases the longer the pregnancy goes on, however the more premature the baby is at birth, the more difficulties he/she will have too, so choosing a delivery date is very difficult and the best professionals to do that are the ones who have been seeing you and measuring the baby's wellbeing.
Now, talking about mode of birth. During a normal vaginal birth, the pattern of contractions means that every time a baby and cord get compressed, there is a brief period where the flow of oxygen to the baby is reduced. This happens for many hours, and is heightened during the pushing stage. Healthy normal-weight babies are made to deal with this process easily, control the blood flow so their brain and heart are the priority, and return blood flow to non-essential organs as soon as the contraction is over. Babies who have been compromised in utero, are of smaller size and have received less oxygen may not deal with a normal labour easily though, and lack of oxygen during contractions may bring on stress and deprive them of oxygen much quicker.
By what you have told me, it appears that a CS is much safer method to deliver your baby, not because the baby is small (some small babies are perfectly healthy, just smaller; however there seem to be placental issues with yours, which would put him/her into the "growth restricted" category) but at the same time the obstetric team seems to be making a great effort to give your baby time in utero to develop, to the point that you are now almost full term (37 weeks). That is fantastic! Delivering your baby before 36 weeks would mean a long stay in NICU for your baby and you and your DH/DP having to spend weeks visiting your baby in hospital. At 37 plus, and depending on baby's condition at birth, you may be able to take your baby home very soon.
I am sorry you seem to be kept in the dark about so many aspects of what seems a stressful pregnancy. I wish they were taking you into account when making decisions and asking for your input. This is your baby! It is horrible for a mum to hear that not everything is right with your pregnancy but not being informed properly and have a chance to have your questions and concerns addressed.
One thing you can do to participate and monitor the wellbeing of your baby is, keeping an eye on your baby's movements. By now at 36 weeks you know what the normal pattern of movements for your baby is. If you notice at any time a change on this pattern, especially at night (babies normally are more active at night, and fewer movements during the evening are very significant), please call the maternity ward and go to be checked (your baby will have a CTG and have their heart mnitored). Not only with fewer/no movements, but also if suddenly your baby seems to go crazy and move non-stop, if this did not normally happen before. Do not wait hours for this, get checked as soon as you notice. Your baby's normal movements tell you that your baby is happy. A sudden change in the pattern of movements tell you that your baby is not him/herself and needs to be checked asap. A baby who moves little or not at all is a seriously compromised baby who needs immediate care. If you're worried, present yourself at the ward and demand a CTG. It is a simple procedure which can be started in 5 minutes and you should never be denied one, especially having a IUGR baby.
Would you please come back to this thread and let us know how things go? I would love to know when your gorgeous baby is born and how you guys are doing.