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Original poster

Scared about having a boy

22 replies

LGF2019 · 21/12/2019 21:49

Hi there, debated if I should post but I think I need advice from people who are in my situation or just some reassurance.
I’m 28 weeks pregnant and over the moon! My partner of 3 years has a son from a previous relationship who is 8.
He really wants a girl as he has a boy and says it would be different but he would it the same but it’s because he has is son already.
I’ve always wanted a girl and more so when I got together with my partner as he’s he has a boy and it would be lovely.
But now I really don’t mind but I’m scared incase my partner feels differently towards the child of it is a boy or will I feel left out with them all wanted to do boy things and me not bonding. I’d love a girl for me but I’d also love a boy. I guess I’m just worried and need some advice
Thank you x

OP posts:

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 21/12/2019 21:50

It won't matter in the least, you will adore your child either way. There's no need to worry : )

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 21/12/2019 21:50

I think if your dp fails to bond with your child because he is a boy, then he is a shit dad.

Livpool · 21/12/2019 22:00

My DS is 4 and is just the best. Me and DH love him so much, and he is so funny, loving and boisterous.

He will be loved

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Lumene · 21/12/2019 22:01

It won’t matter once they are born, don’t worry too much.

Lumene · 21/12/2019 22:01

Also congratulations!

DramaAlpaca · 21/12/2019 22:02

I've three boys & I managed to bond with them just fine. Don't worry.

LittleMissEngineer · 21/12/2019 22:16

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

mumme111 · 21/12/2019 22:18

I was scared to have a girl for my second child (first born was a boy) but she is the most spectacular human being I've ever met lol my best friend and oh my god the love is crazy! Lol you will both fall in love with the gorgeous bubba and forget that you wanted a girl x

LittleReindeer · 21/12/2019 22:21

Define “boy things”? Lots of boys like the same things as their mums. If you’re talking about gender stereotypes then they’re nonsense anyway.

Original poster

LGF2019 · 21/12/2019 22:21

Thank you lovely people!
I’m also worried as partner has a child already so already been through it all but I know it’s going to be just as lovely It’s all super scary lol but Im so excited x

OP posts:

Gertie75 · 21/12/2019 22:30

I had a preference so we paid for a private scan to find out, I'd read on here about people having a pang of disappointment at the birth and didn't want to risk that.

I'm sure your partner will love another son just as much, my friend has her 3rd girls and they both were desperate for a boy, however they were both besotted with her from day one and can't imagine life without her.

Littlepeak34 · 21/12/2019 22:31

Yeah he might have a preference before baby is born, a lot of people do. But honestly, he should bond and love the child no matter what, as will you!

As a previous poster said, if he doesn’t then there’s something not right with him!

Yerbumsootthewindae · 21/12/2019 22:35

Mum of two boys here, I adore them and they adore me. And they couldn't be more different too. Before a baby is born, the only thing you have to possibly try to differentiate them is sex, but once that baby is born and they become their own little person, you realise that they are so much more than that. You will love your baby more than you can possibly imagine!

OhTheRoses · 21/12/2019 22:39

Hmm we had DS1 and then DS2 who was v unwell and we lost him. We couldn't get our heads round having a girl but we did and didn't find out (no girl names and I desperately needed a boy to replace a boy).

51 weeks later dd was born. We were thrilled. DH walked round the room for ages patting her and saying "she's lovely". I loved her instantly in the adrenaline ofnthe birth - not sure if I'd have coped had I found out beforehand.

HairyToity · 21/12/2019 22:41

Fell in love with my boy instantly. I wouldn't worry.

MrsTumbletap · 21/12/2019 22:50

I adore my son, and he adores me. Little boys are awesome.

DoesNotMixWellWithOtherPeople · 21/12/2019 22:53

I had a sister and all female cousins. My sister had a daughter. No experience of small boys at all and I was convinced I wanted a girl - in fact I was terrified that I wouldn’t know what to do with a boy. Along came my DS (only child) and he’s the best thing that ever happened to me.

But he would have been the best thing if he was a girl too.

Baternburg · 21/12/2019 22:53

I felt slightly like you when I was pregnant, and I was conviced we were having a girl until the 20 week scan when we found out we were having a boy. I was a bit worried I’d find it hard to bond because I don’t know what boys are like etc but honestly absolutely adore having a little boy now, he’s just the best thing ever!

AnneLovesGilbert · 21/12/2019 22:54

For a while it’ll be a baby, just a gorgeous cuddly baby who you’ll spend hours staring at while you’re counting its fingers and toes and wondering what colour its eyes will be. Don’t borrow worry.

Babybel90 · 21/12/2019 22:55

You’ll be fine, I really wanted a boy (because no periods, teenage girl hormones etc) and I thought I’d be upset if I had a girl, but when I found out I was having a girl I surprised myself by feeling over the moon about it and she’s amazing, I wouldn’t change a thing!

Fundays12 · 21/12/2019 22:57

I have 3 boys and absolutely adore them. I am a totally girly girl but can’t imagine having a girl now. My 3 boys are very different natured but all mummy’s boys.

Bluerussian · 21/12/2019 23:50

Don't fret about it, your baby will be loved by both of you regardless of its sex.

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