Anxiety over primary school decision

[Grace14]

Hi, my eldest started primary school this September just gone. My youngest is due to start next September.

The thing is, I don't think it's the right school for my youngest! She is very shy - delicate type, and very "young" for her age. This school is a small school (size wize) with a lot of children in it. Also, the one thing that worries me massively is that all 330 children mix together in the playground. Reception are not kept separate, which I thought was the case when applying for my eldest . My eldest I don't worry about as she is a very confident, headstrong character.

I just feel quite frustrated in myself that when I was applying I was thinking of my eldest rather than both of them, and now I'm worried for my youngest. I know I am not going to feel happy her starting there September and I will be full of anxiety with constant worry! I just feel a smaller school might have been better now.

I am considering a school more rural, which would be a massive change from suburben type school. This other school has 16 in the class, as opposed to 30, and the playground situation I'd relax about more as there'll be much less kids there.

So my question is this....if I decide to change primary school for them both, am I being really cruel to my eldest who's just settled and started to make friends?? I feel guilty either way. I just don't feel 100% happy. It's all happened so quickly, but I just know it isnt the right school for my youngest and I'm starting to panic about what to do. Honest opinions ....? Thank you

330 is a great size. When there are 29 others, you have a much greater chance of finding a proper friend. You'll also find that there will be some mixing (usually among siblings) but defacto segregation by age.

Smaller schools don't always suit quiet children. It can be much harder if there are only 15 other children to play with, especially in small villages where relationships are pre-established.

In the nicest way, you don't know that your little one won't settle. I wouldn't move either of them until you know, for sure, that there is a problem.

I have worked in Reception as a TA and totally agree with the PP.
In every class there will be the stronger characters and the quieter ones; in a small class, the star over ones tend to be very dominant whereas the more children there are, the more likely the quieter, shyer children will find a like-minded friend.

Having a larger 'pool' of potential friends becomes more and more important as they move up the school, particularly in Years 5 and 6 when the friendship issues can become complicated!

There can also be major transition issues moving from a tiny Primary school to Secondary schools which usually have over 1,000 pupils.

It’s quite likely that at playtime they are not all out at the same time. 330 kids can’t all eat at the same time; I expect the younger ones eat first then go out to play, then the bigger ones go out later.