How to make a space for autistic 11 yr old?

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My 11 yr old is autistic (just diagnosed) and is prone to massive violent meltdowns at home and when out with me. CAMHS have suggested that I give him a place to get away from it all but I have very little space to do this so thought I'd come to you all for advice.

He shares with his brother and we live in a three bed place with my dd in the box room and me in the other double. I really don't know how to make this space for him?

I've seen things like this work quite well. You would make him a personal one, he can choose characters he likes to represent the emotional states. Then put the appropriate actions for him for each level. He can refer to it then when he is struggling and rising up the thermometer, to use the strategies that work to bring himself down

DS took refuge in the carton a washing machine was delivered in - he called it his "rage tower". He vanished in there, calmed down and came out relaxed.

My sister had a pop up tent in my mum's room at that age.
Ds2 had a lovely space in the cupboard under the stairs.
I had a large cupboard - more or less 3/4 of under stair size.
Then a tree.

You could put a hook on the ceiling over his bed a d then drape sheets going from the hook to the head and one from the hook to the foot of the bed. The sides of the sheet that are facing each other on the exposed side of the bed can have velcro/snap button fasteners. So when he's fine it's open but when he needs to retreat he can close it and it becomes like a teepee tent

Bunk beds in the middle of the room with the bottom side closed in on one side and oposing top side closed in on the other.

Wireless headphones are compulsory for activities in shared spaces in our house.

We divided a double into two very small but carefully fitted out singles as eldest is autistic.

Could you approach your council and see if you can get a grant to extend so all the children have their own space / your Ds has his own room? It doesn’t matter if you own your home or rent from the council, you might be entitled to a disabled facilities grant to do this - my friend did exactly this.

My place is a two floor maisonette housing association place in a block so no chance of extending. Its set out like a house when you go inside. Their room wouldn't fit another bed one of the beds is under the window and with a wardrobe at the foot which is a real squeeze to open. I don't have measurements but the rooms near enough a square. The living room is big enough for a sofa one end and a 6 chair dining table the other so could look into having a sofa bed down there. My dd is 14 and her room is her sanctuary she shared with the boys until she was 11 so would rather not make her give it up if I don't have to.

As for his sensory needs deep pressure is his thing. He loves hiding in an empty single duvet cover and used to find ear defenders really helped but now refuses them as he feels stupid in them. I am currently trying to save up for some noise cancelling headphones which don't stand out so much. He is now taller and bigger than me so when he does have a violent meltdown I can't do much to stop him as he's so strong. Which is why I worry for the others safety.

Thank you for the suggestion of the chart we have one of them with his favourite character on it and it does help alot.

Would CAMHS write you a letter for your local housing authority to get rehoused?

Various people at my local NAS have managed to get rehoused due to an autistic child needing their own room. Another one is a garden requirement for a trampoline to physically work of steam. Can help enormously with ADHD if thats one of his comorbids. Our NAS is big on trampolining. Its a great parallel activity that the DC can do together but individually.

We have bose noise cancelling headphones, the chunky over ear ones. DD (8) said after party day at school that they're her favourite thing in all the world because they make her feel okay when everything doesn't feel okay. DS (16) says that ear defenders are really uncomfortable after a while and when you're feeling overwhelmed and everything feels worse it hurts to put them on. He does keep a fold up pair in his school bag and they do get used but I think its a way of him signalling the teacher all isn't okay without having to verbalise it. He also has bose wireless ones, before the wireless ones came out it cost a fortune as he'd twiddle the wire and they kept breaking. £30 a time for a new wire.

DS2 (13), not autistic, has just had some Xiaomi Redmi Airdots, in ear wireless headphones. They're not bose standard but they cost under £20 off eBay and DH was so impressed we got him a pair too. They are what I'd call semi noise cancelling. They could potentially be a help if sensory issues don't cause a problem with the in ear. DS1 (16, autistic) can't tolerate in ear, especially when he's discombobulated.

With a diagnosis are you now applying for DLA? It helps with these things, was a game changer for us. It has a knock on effect on other benefits and if you're earning under I think £110/ week you can apply for carers. Then evidence of disability becomes something that can be used to go in free places as a carer.

Another potential place to get some financial support with things that would make life better is the family fund: www.familyfund.org.uk/
Again people I know at the NAS have applied once every twelve months and got typically around £500 a time to pay for essential equipment like tech. Ipads for speach and language programmes, headphones, butlins breaks also been applied for.

Have you come across weighted blankets. Some people I know with deep sensory issues find they help them feel more grounded and comfortable. There can be purchased or there are various tutorials/ you tubes, blogs about making your own.

This kind of thing might also be beneficial if he likes pressure: www.amazon.co.uk/Sensory-Compression-Blanket-Sheet-Kids/dp/B07WC8RM84/ref=asc_df_B07WC8RM84/?hvlocphy=9045360&hvlocphy=9045360&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&hvptwo&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvnetw=g&hvadid=372516084704&hvadid=372516084704&hvpone&hvpone&hvlocint&hvlocint&ref&hvpos=1o1&hvpos=1o1&hvdev=m&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-821834468543&hvtargid=pla-821834468543&hvrand=1753772270756742948&hvrand=1753772270756742948&adgrpid=83295364064