Urgh family issues and annoying grandmas

[HotChocolatemarshmallows]

My mum has been incredibly annoying ever since I gave birth almost a year ago. Trying to insist she has the baby to stay even though I didn't want or need her to not to mention I'm breastfeeding. Then moaning about me to other family members because I won't let her babysit.
Being overly gushy on Facebook and overbearing when I see her. I get that she's excited to be a grandma but she's annoying the hell out of me and my DH.

We've limited contact because of how she's been but she still carries on.

In an effort to improve things I've tried speaking to my dad about it but it's backfired and he's not taken the hump and said I should just get over it.

Bit fed up really.

Why won't you let her babysit? I get that you don't need to let her have the baby stay, but the rest sounds as if you're willfully excluding her.
Imagine your dc did that to you in years to come

How old is the baby now?

How old is the baby now?

As the OP's first sentence said they gave birth nearly a year ago, I'm going to guess that the baby is just under a year old.

Oops, missed that bit! Haha Sorreeee

Ok, given the babys age I think OP is BU to not allow her DM to babysit occasionally. It sounds very PFB not to. If the baby was just a newborn/a few weeks old, fair enough. But over a yr old?

It’s your baby so it’s your call . Especially if you are breastfeeding overnight stays are impractical. Also the child isn’t a doll - she’s completely wrong to be trying to take over . We have a 3 year old GS and help when asked plus offer to babysit/ have him for a sleepover occasionally too but wouldn’t dream of becoming proprietorial - he’s their child not ours .
It’s a real pity that trying to get your Dad on side has backfired but I expect your Mum has given give a lot of earache about it .
Many men will give anything for a quiet life . Do t take him getting the hump too much to heart - I bet it’s your Mum he’s irritated with.

Ok, given the babys age I think OP is BU to not allow her DM to babysit occasionally. It sounds very PFB not to

Why? It's the OP's baby. She doesn't need to leave him or her with anyone. Mine are almost 5 and 18 months. My MiL has looked after dc1 3 or 4 times and had him overnight once when I was in hospital having dc2. She's never looked after dc2.

My mum has never babysat for either and won't be offered the opportunity.

There's no way I would let anyone babysit my baby yet not just my mother. My baby needs me at the moment not to be passed around for fun like a toy!

And what's PFB mean?

Baby's need pacifying imo not dgm's.
As your dm has had her dc stop letting her make you feel crap about wanting to parent your own.
Tell her she is damaging your relationship - maybe long term - if she won't stfu complaining!
And mean it.

Winters- that's just what I think!! I've said before she's had her babies now let me enjoy mine. I'm only having the one baby as I've suffered fertility issues for years so defo not passing him around like a toy

That’s a bit of a ridiculous comment, plenty of us use babysitters - it doesn’t mean your baby is being passed around like a toy .
Surely it’s good to have a break occasionally and do something for yourself?
What if you were rushed into hospital and needed someone to take care of your baby? The longer you leave it the harder it will be when you do need to use a babysitter. I take the view that ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ and loved the opportunity to leave my baby in the very capable hands of a babysitter.

YAVBU
more like family issues and annoying daughters FFS

There's no way I would let anyone babysit my baby yet not just my mother.

Why not ?

PFB = Precious First Born

My InLaws have complained they don't get to have our children overnight like this and "other people do" (I bloody hate that phase, other people). I exclusively breastfed, never expressed, fed them to sleep as well. Still doing so for 18m old, other is 5y. There are more issues involved with my reluctance, but this isn't the place to discuss.

We don't all have the same feelings of wanting to send kids away for a night, especially if being pressurised to do so, and while still breastfeeding it's a hard no, end of.

Mm no way would I have left my dc with dm either.
Never needed a break. Waited years for dc was on no hurry to not have them with me!!
They managed to become self sufficient adults and very sociable too!!

He's your baby. Your mum sounds over the top. If you welcomed that input, that would be great. But as you don't, she needs to take the hint.

@WeirdPookah Same here.

Dont want anyone to babysit.
Don't need anyone to babysit
Have no desire to spend anytime away from my baby

Don't care if people feel differently - we aren't all the same and that's great.

It's just not for me.

When the time comes where I need or want a babysitter then I'll choose someone I trust, not my mother!

YAVBU

Why?

Your mum insisting that your child stay over is very different to her offering to have your child for a couple of hours so that you can go out.

Have you honestly had no time away from your child since they were born?