Am I a good mum?

[Kittykat93]

Ridiculously vague question and obviously no one on here knows me but I have a 2 year old ds and am constantly worrying about whether I'm doing the whole parenting thing right, especially since transitioning to being a single parent 4 months ago.

I work 30 hours a week, 3 days a week. I don't have family so no one to visit. Its often just me and him and I worry he will get bored! I take him to some toddler groups, out for walks with the dog, park, library soft play, farm parks etc and just the usual running errands and shopping.

At home he often entertains himself with minimal input from me. Which although fabulous, I worry I should be actually sat playing with him more. I do enjoy playing with him and we have lots of laughs every day but still feel guilty when I think of him playing on his own.

I worry I have the TV on too much. I worry I give him too many snacks.

I have found parenting so far to be a massive emotional wave of guilt, anxiety and worry! Obviously it's incredible too but it's exhausting I'm always over analysing everything and wish I didn't.

Any ideas for different things and activities to do with an extremely energetic toddler? Or how to stop feeling so shit???

You sound like a normal and good mother, experiencing the same feelings as the rest of us xx

Wouldn't be able to tell you, but I'm sure when your ds is a teenager he will tell you (don't believe everything he says then).

But you are conscious about his needs and trying your best, sounds good to me.

Yes. The clue is that you always want to do better.

The simple fact that you are asking the question means you care about doing your best for your DS and in my book that makes you a good mum op

When I was pregnant with our DD.my dear Dad bought me a book entitled “How (not) to be a perfect Mother” by Libby Purves .
It’s a tad dated now but still full of gems to reassure any Mum that as long as you do a good enough job that’s fine .
The fact that your DS can actually play alone with enjoyment at times is a testament in itself to your skill as a parent . Your worries most likely stem more from the fact that you are transitioning to a single parent rather than lack of expertise in the Mum department. You sound like a super Mum to me

Oh gosh you're all lovely, thank you for help putting my mind at ease.

OP I was thinking exactly the same today. I am welded to my phone when I am with DS and I've got to stop it because I do live playing with him but fuck alive its dull and tedious.

Uncertainty and guilt. That's what parenting is for me most of the time.

My boys never wanted me to join in in pretend play or owt like that. I had and have my time with them in other ways, shared activities, bedtime stories, remembering what they like etc. I'm sure you're doing fine xxx

Of course you’re a good mum if you love him and are kind to him.

As you move forward maybe start to build up a local friendship group so he has other children to play with at the weekends and stuff - and you have some adult company. How about through nursery?

Jealous that he entertains himself though, my 4 year old refuses to!

I think it's important for children to learn to entertain themselves up to a point, so I think it's a good thing your son is learning to do that.

You sound like your doing a bloody brilliant job!

I have found parenting so far to be a massive emotional wave of guilt, anxiety and worry

Sounds about right. 😂😂

I let my kids play on their own a lot when they were little but I made sure I properly played with them at other times. I tried not to do the half hearted thing where I was sitting there but not actually engaging with them. Iyswim