Anxiety about the children catching norovirus for Christmas

[Ansumpasty]

Norovirus is spreading round my children’s school (at least 4 have it in every school year, I teach there). They finish on Friday, so only have today and tomorrow, but my anxiety levels about them catching it and ruining Christmas are awful. I have butterflies about it! It doesn’t help that our school doesn’t stick to the 48 hour rule (if the child seems well enough, they can come in).
I’ve spent so much money and built it all up to such an exciting climax and I’m worried that it will completely ruin it for them.

Does anyone else feel like me or have any rational words to help me pull myself together?

All you can do is religiously wash your hands with soap at every opportunity.

And keep everything crossed!

Incidentally, I think your school are being irresponsible in allowing D&V kids back within 48 hours.

Don't you mean it'll ruin it for you? You are putting SO much pressure on yourself.
Your kids will manage to enjoy themselves at some point no matter what happens, you are the one with the fear problem.
The fact that you say you've 'built it all up to such an exciting climax' tells you the pattern in your mind. You build things up - either to an exciting climax Vs total and utter disaster. All or nothing.
To be blunt I feel a tiny bit sorry for your kids having this pressure on them to make sure they play their part right in your fantastic Christmas event.
Are you being a bit unfair to them (and yourself) by not even making room for someone to be sick for a day or two?
Maybe you need to leave room - some buffer for just being human beings I'm sure it'll all go absolutely fine - the novo virus is inconvenient but not life threatening.

If you or the children are ill it won't spoil Christmas, it will just not quite be the Christmas you were expecting. Weirdly the one Christmas that stands out for me from my childhood was the one where I had flu and lay on the settee all Christmas Day being tended to by my DM. It didn't spoil Christmas at all for me although I realise it might not have been her best one! Just keep hygiene levels good and hopefully you won't catch anything.

@ Miljea It’s very irresponsible of the school. The head is motivated by attendance, so we are also allowed to administer calpol, etc. If I wasn’t a member of staff, I’d make a complaint!

@Seaweed42 You’re right, it’s so much pressure (on myself and my kids) and I wish I wasn’t like this. Health anxiety is something I struggle with and it seems to escalate at this time of year. Thanks for your wise words

@ Apolloanddaphne thank you, I know I’m being irrational. That’s good to hear- i didn’t think how most Christmasses to children are actually forgettable. I think I remember 3 from my whole childhood!

Love how what you really care about is Xmas being ruined... kids suffering with norovirus would apparently be ok at any other time of year, just don’t let it ruin Xmas

Plenty of handwashing. I think children are supercarriers and I have no confidence in the 48 hr rule, they are very infectious before they become ill. If they get it it wont spoil christmas which is only a date, you just do it all a few days later. Far to much emphasis on "the perfect day" driven by adults for adults. Children go with the flow. If they feel ill they dont care what else is going on provided they get love and cuddles

Everything seaweed said. That pressure of an "exciting climax" is silly and totally unrealistic. Noro or none, it won't go like that because your children are real children and not actors in a supermarket Christmas ad. What they remember and value down the line will not be the things you worry about, and they need space to just be children.

Is your anxiety treated? What strategies are you using to manage it?

I've had norovirus twice this year. I caught it from lo who got it from nursery. I have an absolute phobia of it. Saying that I'm working on Christmas day. I love my job but it's health care and so unavoidable. We will work around it to have another special day. Don't let the pressure of one single day get you down, if it happens it'll suck obviously but make the day you are all well even better x

Also, Christmas is just a day. There'll be another next year and the year after.

If you or the children do get norovirus, @Ansumpasty, could you just freeze as much as possible of the Christmas food, and postpone Christmas until you are all feeling a bit better?

I don't blame you for being stressed about it - no-one wants norovirus at the best of times, and we do put in a lot of effort at Christmas to make it a wonderful time for the family, so no wonder you are more stressed by this worry.

I well remember one Christmas, when the dses were children. Ds1 was about 7, and the other two were 5 and 3. We told them that we would come downstairs and open stockings at 7.30am, and they could come and wake us then if we weren't already awake, but not before. On the dot of 7.30am, they all trooped in, and ds1 said "Happy Christmas mum and dad - I've been sick three times!!" - he had been very literal about the 'but not before' bit. We should have explained that he could wake us earlier in an emergency.

Anyhow - he spent the rest of the day in a cycle of vomiting, sleeping, waking up feeling a bit better, opening some presents, and then being sick again to start the cycle all over. In the meantime, dh was starting to feel ill too, and I was splitting my time between cooking Christmas dinner, and looking after ds1, so ds2 and ds3 were left to their own devices quite a lot of the time - and so they spent their day eating as much of the chocolate they'd been given as possible.

All this meant that, by the time we got to eat Christmas dinner, ds1 was asleep, following another bout of sickness, ds2 and ds3 were full of sweets, dh was feeling nauseous and didn't want to eat anything, so the only person who ate any Christmas dinner was me! I'd have been better off with McNuggets - it would have been less effort!

Despite all this, it is one of the Christmases I remember best.

@Pinkblueberry there is always one

Thanks, everyone else! I’m thinking this might be the last year my eldest believes in Father Christmas and so it feels like a special one.

That's a pressure you're manufacturing for yourself though ("it's our last chance..."). Next year you'll manufacture a different one. What you've got to shift is not the circumstances, but the rigidity of your thinking and your attempts to control what can't be controlled.

Your children will stop believing in Santa some time, maybe now, maybe not, but Christmas will still be fun and special.

@CmdrCressidaDuck is right - my boys are 22, 24 and 26 now, and we still do stockings, and it is still fun and special for us all.

If this is the last year your eldest believes in Father Christmas, you can make it special for him next year by telling him that he now shares that special secret with you, and that you're proud of him keeping the secret for his younger sibling/s.

Plus, on a slightly selfish level, it is nice when they realise that the presents come from you, and you get the credit, not FC!

I absolutely understand you op. Of course you don't want your kids to get norovirus at any time of the year but Christmas would be even more unfortunate. Not just for the actual day and 'presents' but because, for lots and lots of families, this is the one time of year they may see relatives who live away etc... I have cousins who I see once a year if I'm lucky (they come home every other christmas and the other summer, so if I am not home in the summer then I sometimes go 2 years without seeing them) so yes, for me it would be disappointing to be sick over christmas.

As for the school rule, that is just silly.

All you can do is wash hands, keep away from anyone you suspect is ill and keep your DC away from others between now and Christmas, which isn't going to be easy as you want to enjoy the run up as well as Christmas itself.

DD was ill when she was three, yes I was disappointed she was sick and we couldn't really enjoy opening presents. Everything going was covered in sick and by the time Boxing Day came, the house was covered in washing drying everywhere, even on the back of the chairs my in-laws were sat on - we all actually had a laugh about it.

We had a "norovirus" Christmas one year.

No, it wasn't quite what we'd hoped for, but we got through it. As PP's have said, keep up the hand washing and hope you avoid it. That's all you can do!

A couple of years ago my ds who was 5, started feeling poorly in Christmas eve morning. I just thought it was a cold. By 19 am on Christmas day we were in the ooh GPS and he had raging tonsillitis. Christmas wasn't great, but it wasn't ruined. Lots of lying down and soothing him and Christmas dinner was put on hold for a couple fo days, but it wasn't ruined.

If you all get it, you just make the most of the time off where you can.

Cranberry juice, grape juice and apple cider vinegar are supposed to help prevent it.

Thanks!

My eldest came home from school with tonsillitis. Wonderful!