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Original poster

Why do people not keep there children home when ill

56 replies

Shookethtothecore · 19/12/2019 08:59

I can’t understand it, mum from the school on fb saying her son has been sick and has tonsillitis, just seen her on the school run taking him in. I’m foaming, I have other small children and it’s a week before Christmas why are people so unbelievably selfish. It could get passed on to so many people, and ruin their Christmas for the children. Also, why would you send your child knowing they felt ill to school! You wouldn’t go to work with tonsillitis? It drives me mad people are just so selfish

OP posts:
Original poster
Shookethtothecore · 19/12/2019 10:05

@Nat6999 that is disgusting! I would speak to the governors

OP posts:
selmabear · 19/12/2019 10:06

If you mean sick because he has tonsillitis then then she's doing nothing wrong by sending him in, you can still go to school with tonsillitis.

Spidey66 · 19/12/2019 10:06

Anyone who says they would go into work with tonsillitis hasn't had tonsillitis.

I had it twice in six months about 30 years ago. Despite the length of time it's been, I still remember how shit I felt. My enduring memory of it is being crouched over the toilet spitting in because my throat was so sore I couldn't even swallow my own saliva. That was about how far I got from my bed.

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happycamper11 · 19/12/2019 10:12

Anyone who says they would go into work with tonsillitis hasn't had tonsillitis.

I get tonsillitis 2-4 times a year. Sometimes it totally floors you other times it's just an inconvenience. Not everyone gets affected exactly the same 🙄

AhoyMrBeaver · 19/12/2019 10:16

Anyone who says they would go into work with tonsillitis hasn't had tonsillitis.

That's not true.

FrangipaniBlue · 19/12/2019 11:28

for some people losing out on a days pay is the difference between food on the table or not. It's not just for bloody pin money.

Yes, and this also may apply to the other parents whose children will then get sick when yours infect them

usernotfound0000 · 19/12/2019 12:35

DD has tonsillitis, started with it on Monday. Tuesday AM trip to GP and prescribed penicillin. By Wednesday she was feeling back to herself however kept her off one more day so she could catch up on rest but she's gone back today. She is fine. GP confirmed not contagious and fine to be back 24 hours after medication started.

nowaypose · 19/12/2019 12:44

Tonsillitis is absolutely agonising. I had it at least twice a year every year for a decade then it developed into quinsy when I was 16. It’s the worst pain after childbirth, I always felt like my whole head was about to explode and there’s no way I could have gone to school with it. I feel for the child being sent to school with it, it’s so painful. I don’t think it’s particularly contagious though, my DH had it a few months ago but none of us caught it.

usernotfound0000 · 19/12/2019 13:03

nowaypose but how about accepting that everyone reacts differently? DD was quite poorly for a day and a half and then she was fine. She is old enough to tell me if she was in pain and she isn't, hence she's gone back. Just because you are very ill does not mean everyone else will feel that way.

happycamper11 · 19/12/2019 13:12

But this is mumsnet @usernotfound0000 where everyone's lives and experiences are identical and to imagine any variation to that is just absurd.

usernotfound0000 · 19/12/2019 13:17

I forgot that golden rule happycamper Grin

Woollycardi · 19/12/2019 13:18

If you're foaming perhaps you need to see the doctor yourself? My experience is that there is a lot of pressure from school to send your child in regardless, I have been quizzed on symptoms and told they're not severe enough to keep them off so that might be the case with this child and parent. Why have you jumped straight to selfishness? Or how do you know how many of us would go to work with tonsillitis? It doesn't mean the whole school will be infected by this one child...

PorpentinaScamander · 19/12/2019 13:24

All sorts of reasons. Maybe he has tonsillitis but isn't 'unwell" with it. It isn't always contagious anyway.

Pressure from school.

Maybe she cant afford to lose a days wages, I know I can't. And to the PP who has 'lost' a lot money this week due to illness. That's a shame. Really. But some people couldn't have afforded to pay all of that in the first place.

Tonsillitis affects everyone differently. I can usually get on with every day life when I have it, go to work etc. Except once when it totally floored me.
DS1 was able to go to school etc when he had it.
Ds2 on the other hand was so unwell. He hardly ate, if we went anywhere he went in the pram (he was 5) and ended up missing 2 weeks of school. He was almost hospitalized with it. Luckily he's never had it again.

Contagious sickness bugs otoh YANBU. Theres a mum I know who doses her kids up on calpol and sends them in anyway Angry (and she wfh part time so could keep them off)

Skinnychip · 19/12/2019 13:25

My DS previous school was the opposite and if they knew a child has been sick in the last 48 hours and the parent tries to drop the child at school they will ask the parent to take them home again. There was a child receiving treatment for cancer and they were very strict about the 48 hour rule. There have also been lots of reminders on newsletters about remaining absent for 48 hours.

BaubleTheLumpOfCoal · 19/12/2019 13:30

People sending their contagious kids into to school are selfish - end of story.

Yes you may have to take the hit with wages, but so might 10 other parents when their child is infected by yours.
That's without taking into account the teachers, TAs and other members of staff who'll get ill too.

48 hours is there for a reason, schools not enforcing the rule is an appalling practice.

Also, I used to get fed up of seeing kids in school obviously poorly and struggling, but the parents have decided to send them in anyway.
Again, selfish.

Oakmaiden · 19/12/2019 13:30

Well, if the child only developed tonsillitis last night and has gone in to school this morning it probably isn't tonsillitis. It is probably a sore throat and a drama llama mother.

ViveLEntenteCordiale · 19/12/2019 16:38

Bacterial tonsillitis is very contagious - I just had streptococcal tonsillitis and my dr told me to stay home for 48 hours after starting the antibiotics and wear a mask if I had to go out. I didn't really feel well enough to go out for a few days anyway.

ViveLEntenteCordiale · 19/12/2019 16:42

Oakmaiden one of the ways you know it is 'proper' tonsillitis that needs antibiotics is the sudden onset. So the child could absolutely have it if it started the previous night. However it's unlikely the child would feel well enough to go to school.

foxatthewindow · 19/12/2019 16:49

I had a tonsillitis prone kid (he’s since had them out). He rarely missed school for it, sometimes it did make him sick but the 48h rule doesn’t really apply if you know it’s not a bug. He could go from being a bit off colour in the morning, to horrific at school pick up, to normal again the next morning if we had managed to start the antibiotics soon enough. Tonsillitis is probably the one time I wouldn’t be too worried, it really doesn’t seem to be as contagious as people think. We never ever caught it from him and he had it every 6-8 weeks

Nousernameforme · 19/12/2019 16:51

One day I would like to be an emergency childminder for poorly children.
I'm sure there are too many issues and red tape to make it actually viable but I think it would help so many people.
Not least by avoiding other kids being infected through too early a return to school

OneUsernameOnly · 19/12/2019 16:56

Norovirus has hit my dd’s school. To the point where hundreds of children were off ill. (It’s a secondary school) Monday it was closed for a supposed deep clean. Back in Tuesday. Yesterday a girl (who had been ill previous week) went green, vomited, fainted and had to be wheelchaired out. Parents were still sending their dc to school knowing they weren’t recovered. Over 300 students off ill. School closed yesterday for the final 2 days for another ‘deep clean’

Baguetteaboutit · 19/12/2019 17:08

We get the shitty letters too. Last year we got a shitty letter that said they would require evidence or a doctor's note for the rest of the year. Now, getting a appointment at our local surgery is a Hurculeon task and that's before you get to the question of how morally dubious it is to jeopardise the well-being of the other patients with a d&v virus or wasting the drs time with something trivial like a heavy cold. I figured from here on in I'll just present the office shitty sheets or snotty tissues on his return. But I can see why other people would just send them into school under these conditions and avoid the accusation that you're probably a lying shit parent.

Danascully2 · 19/12/2019 17:09

Parents not observing the 48hr rule/keeping kids off is not the only reason bugs circulate. Kids will often be infectious before they show signs so by the time they're actually ill it's already spread to other children. Which is not to say I don't agree with many of the points made here. I also have great sympathy though with the childcare issue, especially for people on lower incomes. It's not always just about losing pay, absence can often trigger disciplinary procedures or subtler disadvantages because you are seen as unreliable. I only have to physically attend work for a few hours a week but it's really hard when the kids are ill because it feels so useless not even to be able to turn up for that very small amount of commitment. But on the other hand lots of people feel that being a sahm is not a good option for very valid reasons. There is no magic solution unless you happen to have a very flexible job or granny round the corner who is fit and well and happy to drop everything to look after a 1 year old with d and v for 8 hours.... That is a long-winded way of saying that I can see both sides of the issue! There is no excuse though for people who just can't be bothered to keep them off.

Kaykay066 · 19/12/2019 17:48

I wouldn’t be bothered with a child in the playground with tonsillitis/sick as long as he wasn’t mixing with other kids standing with a parent then going home again. You most probably pass people in the street/supermarket etc who are as ill but need to go out for food/chemist.

I don’t think if they’ve been sick or are particularly unwell they should be at school or out and about but I suppose if they are young and parent has other kids at school what do you do? I’m lucky as have an older son I can leave mine with but generally they come with me for some air. Rarely get d&v luckily - hopefully not spoken too soon. I feel that kids are kids and they will get bugs but parents who don’t leave 48 hours or knowingly expose kids to older people/babies/other kids with suppressed immune system are incredibly selfish. Shit for their kid to go back to school feeling rubbish and spreading bugs to the rest - my son is asthmatic and doesn’t keep well in winter just now so catches more than the rest!!

happycamper11 · 19/12/2019 19:00

@ViveLEntenteCordiale
According to the NHS (and every doctor I've ever seen about it) tonsillitis is NOT contagious. It is a secondary complication of a cold that has usually run its course by the time the tonsillitis has come on. And the usefulness of masks is pretty questionable too. Not that you see loads of people walking around masked in wonder so I think your dr is alone in recommending that lol

Why do people not keep there children home when ill
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