Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Sick children and newborn

35 replies

RigidBoard · 19/12/2019 08:07

I'm just after a consensus here and I'm not trying to provoke any negativity I'm genuinely interested in people's opinions from different perspectives of parents and step parents.

I have a newborn baby and my partner's children were over this weekend. We were due to go to his parents. When the children were dropped off their mother said one of them was feeling unwell. I decided to stay home with the baby to protect them from illness. My partner thinks I was wrong to do this (although did not say at the time) as if they lived with us full time I would have to deal with it anyway. His child is still unwell now and off school.

So whoever you would be in this scenario what would you do?

Would you send your child to your ex who has a newborn knowing they are unwell?

In my position would you have gone to the family?

If you aren't a step family would you try protect your newborn from your unwell older children?

I feel awful that I have caused upset (which I have) thinking I was doing the right and sensible thing.

OP posts:

gamerchick · 19/12/2019 09:05

Sickness and high temperature gets immediately quarantined in my house. You haven't done anything wrong OP. You are a step mum so therefore you are automatically wrong on here

It's common sense to seperate kids when they have a sickness bug.

halcyondays · 19/12/2019 09:15

If one of my children has a stomach bug, I keep the other one away. Would also do the same if they had something like flu.

I’d definitely keep a newborn away from anyone with anything other than a cold. Getting a bug could be quite serious for such a young baby.

Original poster

RigidBoard · 19/12/2019 09:16

Thank you for the support. We'll be seeing everyone over Christmas. Hopefully some festive cheer will make everything ok again.

On the breastfeeding, I couldn't continue and I'm particularly upset by it knowing that it is best for baby. But I'm channelling fed is best!

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families

Sweetpeach3 · 19/12/2019 09:19

I think you are being very unreasonable

My DSD came over the weekend as she does every weekend to stay I'm 39 weeks pregnant and have 2 toddlers already

Mum did ask if we wanted her to stay at hers as it wouldn't be good if I got it- Her little brother (from mum) was in hospital due to a bug and their school was shut down so she could of had it easily as kids will get anything no matter how hard you try to prevent it !
Another one is my DSS his appendix burst an funny enough I was due to have my first born the next month. I still sat in a and e for 12 hours with him and didn't leave his side! It's what parents to. Biological or not

So moral to my story is yea your a new mum an worried for your baby but as a step mum you should have a duty of care to not make the child feel left out as it's unwel. You just have to get on with things as normal and do the best you can

Original poster

RigidBoard · 19/12/2019 09:31

@sweetpeach3 - You are a much better person than me! Congratulations on your pregnancy. It sounds as though your family are beautifully blended.

I hope I didn't make anyone feel left out, they still attended the GPs. I did not. But I understand how it would be seen that I'm alienating them.

OP posts:

Sweetpeach3 · 19/12/2019 09:45

@RigidBoard it is difficult and theirs only 6 years between me and my oldest SS but we're so close it is lovely havin that bond with him, crazy The age gap I know haha but it's all new to you having a new born I really do get that as it's your first and you want to keep them safe etc but you can't bubble wrap them from the world. If their guna get ill their guna get ill weather it be SC or going to the local shops We're it's full of germs and stuff anyway
but you just have to think how the other kids feel in situations. I come from a big family and we are all really close so I think this helps me take on all his other kids aswel as our 2(soon to be 3)
You wouldn't of wanted to hurt anyone intentionally but il be honest when kids are ill they will tend to cling to the woman of the house and be looked after like hot drinks and blankets etc. These lot won't go near their dad he's useless when their ill always me left with the shit end of the stick. Literally haha
It gets easier and you'll soon find your feet! Xx

gamerchick · 19/12/2019 09:47

It doesn't though, you've done nothing wrong. Anyone who says they would deliberately expose their newborn to a sick bug a sibling had is a lier.

I wouldn't send one of my kids to their dads with a newborn in the house if they had a sick bug, because I'm not a dick or that irresponsible.

Sweetpeach3 · 19/12/2019 10:02

@gamerchick you wouldn't deliberately expose a new born no and the likely hood of them catching something is low as the children aren't going to be nursing the baby etc they usually do their own thing out of the way but you can't stop the world if they feel unwell or have a bug. Life still goes on? People have routines and either way their at their mums or dads.
What if both parents had a new born and the child was ill. What would you do then? You just stick to the routine you have or whatever the child feels most comfortable with.
That's my opinion anyway. Unless it was chickenpox around a new born or something serious! X

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/12/2019 10:08

Nothing wrong with dad having time to focus on his older DC while you rest with your new baby even if no one was ill!

You’re vulnerable and adjusting and he needs to be a lot more sympathetic and supportive. Stop apologising for doing what you knew was right and what a lot of others would also have done. I’m a step mum, luckily my DSC weren’t ill when my DD was a newborn but if they had been my job would have been to prioritise her - because she’d have been tiny and 100% dependent on me - and I’d have expected DH to balance everyone’s needs not berate me for protecting our baby.

kenandbarbie · 19/12/2019 10:33

If you aren't a step family would you try protect your newborn from your unwell older children?*

No, not worth it. Nigh on impossible! I would just take the newborn being ill as one of those things. She will hopefully have a healthy immune system after her germy siblings I hope.

Flip

1 2