I always feel lonely at Xmas for the family I don't have

[ssd]

Parents are dead, siblings might as well be on the moon, estranged.
Xmas always makes me want aclise extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.. It always makes me feel isolated. I have grown up ds's and dh, I'm lucky that way. I just want this emptiness in the pit of my stomach to go away.

NOT to !

I mean, you can feel like shit about it for a bit but don't let it spoil what you do have.

I used to have big Christmas days with 12 plus for dinner. DGM died then DM died a few years ago and she really was the glue in our family. DB lives down under, DS is with a toxic partner that has caused us to not speak and DF has all but reinvented himself with a new partner and we rarely see him. I am happy spending Christmas with DH and teen DDs but miss the noisy Christmas Day’s gone by. We have a big meet up with DH’s family after the big day as they all like to be home for 25th.

I feel the same way. I have a dh and 3 dcs but my childhood Christmases were always spent rotating around the family going to one family party or another and I loved it. Now we have no extended family and although I try to focus on my immediate family, I can't help remembering the Christmases of long ago and the mix of generations, I truly miss not having this. We had no extended family to visit today - instead we went for a walk, it was lovely but I would much rather have had family to have visited and to chat to (plus dcs are under the weather and eldest two kept moaning about their aches and pains). TBH. I am relieved the whole thing is nearly over. I miss my grandparents at this time of year (they practically brought my brother and I up) and I feel at the same time, incredibly guilty for not feeling happier/more content with my lot when many people have no-one (I am also experiencing hormonal issues which might explain a bit of my angst). It seems hard to believe that there are no cousins etc. on either side. Our siblings have mental health issues. I am estranged from my parents and dh's parents have passed away. I don't know why it brings home all the things that we don't have rather than the things we do have. It also makes me worry about something happening to my dh (who is a bit older than me) - it makes me realise that I would have no-one and this is a very sobering thought, especially with 3 dcs who rely on me.

@dontgobaconmyheart
Lovely, brave post.
I hope the day is going ok for you.

People feel how they feel.
I think it's ok to feel sad or regretful, and I think it's healthy to acknowledge it.

Christmas is a very strange time of year, full of memories good and bad, regrets, and often the plain wish that things were different.

It's ok to feel that. Invariably people get up tomorrow morning, dust themselves off and get on with things..for another year.

It's just one day, but it's the one day that can sting for lots of people, in their own private way.

💐