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Original poster

Chores for 5 (almost 6) and 3 year old? And how to get them to do them?

37 replies

Gardeningnovice99 · 14/12/2019 08:27

Been feeling a bit like a slave lately Grin —always—

And I think my kids are old enough to help out a bit.

The question is, what chores do you all think a 5-year-old and 3-year-old can do?

And how on earth do I get them to do them? Without it being any kind of fight? (I don’t need more fights to get them to do anything!)

Do any of you give your little ones chores?

OP posts:
Original poster
Gardeningnovice99 · 14/12/2019 08:28

(The “always” was supposed to be crossed out in that way people do. But I clearly don’t know how to do that!)

OP posts:
Lllot5 · 14/12/2019 08:30

But young to be doing ‘chores’ I think.
They can put their toys away, dirty washing in the basket that sort of thing, but if you’re imagining hoovering or dusting I think they’re a bit young.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 14/12/2019 08:31

Maybe call it helping.

I got my DC to help put shopping away. Easy bits. Loo rolls were a hit.

Help pull the laundry out of the dryer and fold. Their job was to ball socks. Huge excitement over pairing socks.

Easy when they are smaller, it’s more of a game.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3 year olds Behaviour & development Families
Elbeagle · 14/12/2019 08:31

Well mine are 6 and 4, and their main ‘chore’ is to tidy up after themselves. They have a playroom which is their responsibility to keep tidy. If it isn’t, they can’t have friends round to play.
They put their own clothes in the washing basket when they take them off, and put their own clothes away in their drawers when they’re washed/dried and folded. Make their beds in the morning and keep their bedrooms tidy.
So not much really but with school/reading/homework/playing/activities etc I don’t want to put too much on them!
I find I feel like a slave when I spend my time picking up after other people so getting them to tidy up after themselves really helps.

Original poster
Gardeningnovice99 · 14/12/2019 08:32

I was imagining putting toys away etc. Struggling to think of anything else they can do safely. But also don’t know how I’d actually get them to follow through and do it! They would whine their heads off and ignore me.

OP posts:
BlackSwanGreen · 14/12/2019 08:32

Lots of MN posters seem to give their kids loads of chores! Personally I would keep it simple at that age. Plate and cup in dishwasher as you get up from the table. Wrapper in bin if they eat a snack. Toys tidied away at end of day (with you helping / supervising).

When they're a bit older you could start involving them in the laundry.

How to get them to do it? Just be prepared to keep saying it over and over again! for years Personally I don't link chores to pocket money but some do.

DelurkingAJ · 14/12/2019 08:32

Mine are 7 and 3. I expect dirty dishes in the kitchen and dirty laundry in the basket. Help cleaning up small spills. And tidying up of toys on request. Eldest is beginning to help with other things like DIY and gardening.

Pegase · 14/12/2019 08:33

Crossed out on mine. Just give small tasks before something fun. For example if my just turned 6 yr old wants some screen time, I'll give her 2 or 3 jobs to do first. Some of them v quick like taking some things up to her room. Or do them together like folding laundry. Or set a timer. I would expect a 5 year old to just follow my instructions to be honest as long as they are not unreasonable. Younger DC you might need to be more creative but at nursery / childminders, the children clear up after themselves. Toys definitely and at my daughter's Montessori they had 3-4 year olds setting the table with plastic plates and water cups etc

Piixxiiee · 14/12/2019 08:36

We do a sticker chart from the works. We do tidy room for both.
3 yr old to put own coat & shoes on. Get into pjs himself. Tidy up toys at end of playing with them. Get placemats out for dinner and tidy back up. When asked first time. Sticker on chart as reward.

6 yr old- tidy toys. Fill water bottle herself. Wipe table before dinner. Set table. Put dirty clothes in basket. Stickers as reward.

I expect both kids to clear own plates etc. Both start getting uniform on in morning- end up helping a frustrated 3 yr old with jumper every day! But emphasis wanting them to try.
Often we add thinks on to the chart for the following week- some behaviour, some chores-

BendingSpoons · 14/12/2019 08:37

DD is 3 and helps us e.g. gets the cutlery out for dinner, helps fold and put away laundry. She is less keen on tidying. It works best if I do it with her and point out things to tidy. Sometimes she will count e.g. 10 things to put away.

MoltoAgitato · 14/12/2019 08:38

My lot (5 and 6) put away their shoes, hang their coats up, put school book bags away, bring out their plates etc to the kitchen and put dirty washing in the dirty washing basket, as well as tidy up their toys. Sometimes unprompted, I usually remind. Occasionally one will replace a loo roll.

We are working on putting pyjamas away (they currently leave them abandoned wherever they get dressed). I think at this age it’s more about basic housekeeping routines rather than housework per se.

SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing · 14/12/2019 08:38

Things like 'helping' with the shopping delivery, putting their own clothes in the laundry basket.

Don't call it a chore, or ask them to help, they'll just resist.
If you're tidying, hand them stuff and tell them where it goes, involve them generally in day to day jobs, rather than giving them specific tasks.

Otherwise, make it a game. We usually have 5 mins towards the end of the day where we all rush about and put away as much as possible. Obviously I do the majority of it, but they feel like they're joining in, and as they get older they'll be used to doing it as part of their day

Original poster
Gardeningnovice99 · 14/12/2019 08:39

Yes I like that - dirty dishes in dishwasher, clothes in the hamper, Rubbish in the bin, wipe table before dinner. I’m going to make a list of your suggestions!

Haha I will prepare myself to keep saying it Grin older DC is very good, so I have a better chance. Younger DC harder. But like the idea with linking it with a good thing they’ll get already and a sticker chart.

Perhaps I’ll use the advent calendar as an incentive this month... “You can open it after you’ve done x”

OP posts:
Original poster
Gardeningnovice99 · 14/12/2019 08:39

Helping is a good term for it!

OP posts:
Piixxiiee · 14/12/2019 08:40

Yes I expect t both kids to put wrappers in bin, if they have drink or snack they put in dishwasher. My slave days are over. I dont do nagging I do ask 2 times then stop them and explain I'm asking for last time in case they forgot but if not done now then there will be consequence ie no telly etc

DrPimplePopper · 14/12/2019 08:40

Mine do the basics like tidying up toys. Each day they put dirty washing in the basket, take their clean clothes off me and put in their room, and put their rubbish in the bin. On occasion 3 yo likes to help clean and dusts the low things she can reach while 5 yo will sometimes help put things away from the dishwasher (carefully!)

SimonJT · 14/12/2019 08:42

My sons four, so in between your two.

He
Puts clean clothes away.
Puts dirty clothes in the lights or darks washing basket.
Empties bits from the dishwasher that go in the bottom cupboards.
Puts his own plate, bowl etc in the dishwasher.
Helps make meals (mixes something, chops something etc).
Tidies his toys away before bath time.
Packs his own packed lunch (I make it) before playtime when he gets home after school.
Changes the water in the cats bowl every morning.
Makes his own breakfast at the weekend.

Obviously as a four year old he needs lots of prompting, if he chooses not to do a chore that’s fine, but I have to cancel something nice like story time etc as I won’t have time due to catching up on his chores myself.

SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing · 14/12/2019 08:42

Just the way we do it, but not a fan of incentives in this house tbh. Helping out in the house is just something they all need to do.

Don't introduce too much at once either, if they're used to not doing anything. Start with something small, like taking their own plates out, laundry in the basket etc.

HuloBeraal · 14/12/2019 08:44

How? By pointing out that we are a family and we all pitch in and if they don’t help I cannot help them with the things they want (can you set up the paints Mummy? Can I have this Mummy? No you can’t, I am doing jobs, come and help and I can get to you quicker).
They make their bed. The 3 year old not v efficiently. The 8 year old is ok. Put clothes in the laundry basket.
But their main job is at 6:30 they tidy their playroom and help me tidy downstairs. They have been doing it since DS1 was 2ish (now 8). It’s part of our daily routine. If they don’t and I have to do it, then I cannot read stories to them in bed. I don’t leave them to it, we do it together usually while DH is sorting through kitchen out. We often chat while doing it. It’s family time. Some days I have to be stern and most days now they cooperate. This also means they know where there toys are on a day to day basis.
My 8 year old comes in, puts his stuff away, gets dressed in the morning, and can make a basic breakfast- toast and cereal if need be.
After dinner they help to clear and wipe the table.

HuloBeraal · 14/12/2019 08:46

Also I have two boys. I have no intention of them growing up to think daily chores are a woman’s work.

Bumfuzzled · 14/12/2019 08:46

I find you need to be really specific with what you are asking them to do. Tidy up your toys would get you nowhere. Tidy up your Lego by putting it back in the box would get them doing it.

Building things into the daily routine works for us too. For example they know that when getting ready for bed they need to put the dirty clothes into the laundry bin. They sometime need a reminder but they usually remember.

Booboostwo · 14/12/2019 08:48

The three year old might be too young, but my five year old puts dirty clothes in to be washed, puts shoes, coat and clean clothes away, empties light weight things and things that don’t break from the dishwasher, gets himself water, helps set and clear the table and puts away his toys.

He gets 2 euros a week pocket money and if he wants more he has to do extra chores, e.g. the other day he and his 8yo sister picked a wheelbarrow of horse poo for 2 euros each (took them an hour, but oddly enough they loved doing it).

Teachermaths · 14/12/2019 08:48

I get my 2yo to help tidy up.

It's just part of family life. If he uses a wipe he puts it in the washing machine. He knows dirty clothes go in the laundry basket. If they've been doing things from a young age they don't question it and just crack on.

He loves helping with emptying the dishwasher too. Also get them involved in food preparation.

jillandhersprite · 14/12/2019 08:49

We don't make it a big deal - it's part of family life so no need for rewards. At that young age it's not chores really - more not creating work - so tidy up toys before moving onto next thing, clothes in laundry basket when getting changed, tell me if they spill and depending on what it is then they wipe up mess (if it's water, I deal with sticky messes!)

drspouse · 14/12/2019 08:51

Mine are 7 and 5.
They need to put their clothes in the wash, keep their rooms tidy, put dirty dishes in the kitchen (or dishwasher if possible), keep shoes coats and bags tidy, put away toys.
Basically it's no screen time till it's done. The 5 year old trashes her room so it's a daily pre bedtime story job. They don't really have toys in their room so I don't know how she does it but she does.
Bigger jobs like putting away 75 million small games parts in the play room we help with e.g. You put all the Duplo away, I'll put this game back together, now you do the dressing up box and I'll put the books on the shelf.