How would you take this comment?

[LighteningRidge]

I had a baby less than three week's ago. I'll admit I am emotional and tired but I think I'm doing pretty well considering some issues I have faced.

Anyway I put on a bit too much weight during pregnancy. I'm now a size 14/16 bottom but in my usual tops which are a 12. I am already dropping weight. I mentioned today I'd like a tin of chocolates. DP then said that wouldn't help my weight. I feel a bit upset by this as I can't help but think he thinks I'm fat. I already feel unloved and now I feel even more unattractive. Am I being too over emotional?!

Also should I just buy the tin of chocolates and hide them

It took 9 months to gain that weight. You're not going to lose it overnight, and a bit of chocolate in moderation isn't going to hurt.

Have you complained about it to him? If so, he might try to help. It doesn't sound malicious tbh.

I wasn't sure if I was being a bit over emotional about it. I have previously said I want to lose the weight and I'd look at slimming world in the new year, but I'm not going on about it. I'm actually quite pleased that I'm starting to look like me again albeit slightly more squishy.

Tell him to do one.

Your weight is none of his business.

If you’ve previously told him you wanted to lose weight I’d suggest he is just trying to be supportive and keep you on track for achieving your goal. I don’t think he means it bad. However it would be better if he supported you in other ways rather than criticise your snack choices. Perhaps him planning exercise like a family walk in the park or swimming or something as a family would be better. He doesn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Men don’t think the same way as women. What he said was true. You are just hurt as you think he’s calling you fat. He didn’t say that. You said you wanted to lose weight. Chocolate is fattening. He’s just being truthful. Don’t let it bother you. If you are happy to eat it go for it. You know you are losing weight and that a small treat now and again is harmless. Just don’t buy a tenners worth of the stuff and complain you’re feeling sick!

I know deep down he didn't mean it sound like he is calling me fat. I guess I just didn't expect him to comment on my weight when I suggested a tin of sweets. He will eat way more of them than me. He is a chocolate fiend. This is my first baby and I didn't realise how much your relationship will be tested. This comment just hit a nerve.

Congratulations on your baby 👶🏻

Have some chocolate and take care of yourself x

It was an insensitive thing to say but presumably said without malice. Have some chocolate and enjoy your new baby! For what it’s worth
I put on 5 stone during pregnancy and it took 10 months to lose it all and be back to 9 stone.

You have a 3 week old, definitely don't worry about losing weight yet! Obviously, if you feel ready go for it but don't feel pressured.

He was probably trying to help you, this is the sort of thing my husband says in a well meaning way. Your hormones are all over the place still.

It's Christmas, enjoy a tin of chocolate and your squishy newborn.

At 3 weeks old you should not be focusing on losing weight. At all.

You have just grown a baby! It took 9 months to do that. Expect it to take just as long to get down to your previous weight.

In the fourth trimester especially, you should be focusing more on replenishing your body. Healing. Making sure you get some good nutrients for you and baby. Making sure you get as much sleep as you can/baby will allow. Doing things at your own pace. And if that includes having a sodding tin of sweets, it will include a sodding tin of sweets!!!! 😂

My OH never mentioned my weight. He got me every food I desired. If I wanted pizza, he'd make it and bring it to me. Alot of the time I had the baby on me or feeding. That's basically all I did all day. So he made sure I had water and he made sure I had whatever the fuck I wanted to eat.

My weight loss journey started after my son turned 3 months. I still ate what I wanted but I made the portions smaller. Or I cut out a certain thing like mayo on my sandwiches. And slowly but surely each week I lost a pound or two.

Your hormones are everywhere right now. You feel worse than when you were pregnant in some ways because at least then you had a reason to be the size of a house. I remember those feelings well 🙈 Do your best to look at the good stuff in the mirror, try not to focus on your size. Please. Appreciate all the wonderful things your body has done to make that special baby. You will get there with the weight loss and you're more likely to stay there if you take it easy and slowly.

Enjoy baby. Eat nice foods. Tell OH that comments like that are not necessary and you will make your own health decisions. A tin of sweets is not going to derail you.

I had a baby five months ago, and the way I've been thinking about it is for each month it took to gain the weight I want to lose it eg first month I wasn't showing so didn't care about not losing much, same as the second month, by month three I wanted to lose some of the bulge, month four lose more than I did the month before etc. At 5 months pp I think I'm doing pretty well, I still have a tummy, and if I wear close fitting clothes I look about 5 months pregnant, but I'm following the plan of loss quite well. I haven't really changed anything, I still eat the same crap I did before (more actually, I worked out today I've already spent £162 on takeaways and eating out this month 😖😖) but you end up doing a lot of movement with a baby, whether you're walking everywhere and pushing a heavy pram or just going back and forth to get nappies, wipes, bottles, a clean dummy, or anyof the other million things you need throughout the day.

Indulge in that tin of chocolates, you've earned them, and don't worry about losing the weight yet as it will go slowly, exactly as it crept on slowly as you grew the baby.

Congratulations to all the lovely ladies on here who will be celebrating “baby’s first Christmas” in ten days time