MILs at Christmas

[Theaspidistraiswilting]

I am really very fond of my MIL but... the only thing she ever does is take The kids shopping. Never a museum or the library or anything other than shopping. She is very generous and it is kind but I would rather they spent two hours somewhere that wasn’t rampant purchasing of whatever tat takes their fancy at that moment. How can I address this tactfully?!

I'd be quite pleased to be honest. Means I get to do the fun, free, rainy day stuff - museum/library etc. without the kids being bored of it.

Something along the lines of 'MIL, you're very kind and generous, but if you want to spend money on the children, it would be wonderful if you could take them to see x exhibition at the y, I never seem to have the time, and I know they'd really enjoy experiencing it with you'?

If it makes her and the children happy and they have a fun day together, just leave it be. What's the harm?

There is a case for letting the woman do as she pleases in the 2hrs she has them.
She's a grandmother not a childminder.

I wouldn't want my children associating seeing a family member with getting presents all the time. It's not good for the children or grandparent.

Have you discussed this with her... maybe should doesn't realise that they'll like a museum etc?

Never ever treated her like a childminder! Ok, general consensus to let her get on with so I will!

She's doing you a favour having the kids, let her get on with it.

Op, I can't understand this!

So what... You take them to cultural stuff and let her take them shopping!

I hate to play the “dead” card but my child has no grandparents. I would be ecstatic if I had family member to take her out and have fun. You could politely ask her to keep to one thing each time.

My mil does similar and has previously said she likes it because when her kids were small she never had the money to do it and didn’t have much when she was a child. I let it go to be honest as the kids are happy and it’s not every week for us