F me, the universe does not like me * LIGHTHEARTED *

[tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz]

Yesterday whilst filling car with fuel some spat back out and went all over my favourite leather boots (out of interest if I try washing them in soapy water can they be rescued of are they basically a fire hazard I need to bin?!),

Today whilst walking back from the shop with eggs for cooking with I slipped on some mud in an embarrassing, arms flailing, spectacular fashion, landing ON THE EGGS. Luckily 2 survived. I have mud up the back of my favourite coat.

Finally I made Jamie's Veggie Moussaka following the recipe TO A FUCKING T. Before going in the oven in basically looked like aubergines in tomato-y milk.

Shall I just pour the gin now? You're all invited to my pity party

Things can only get better

That's very true!

Shit comes in threes. I think you are done now.

It’s Friday 13th and you are fully entitled to a gin!

From shit I hadn't realised! Aww man. I'm going to pretend to wrap Christmas presents later but just get pissed instead.

Oh, a fourth thing, after slipping on the mud I then managed to walk that mud in the house as I forgot to take my trainers off when I got home.

No mixer in my gin later ...

I think your boots will be alright.vjust leave them somewhere well ventilated for ten years for the petrol to evaporate.

They're in our downstairs loo at the mo with the window open as I'm worried that DH or DD will be overcome by fumes whilst having a leisurely number 2!

Back in the summer I became convinced the universe was trying to kill me or at the very least put me in hospital.

In the space of only a few hours I tripped over a tree root and landed flat on my face, hit my head on the car roof while reaching for my handbag, tripped over thin air, tripped over a kerb, choked on a mouthful of too hot tea, tripped over thin air again and finally turned too sharp and smacked my elbow against a door frame. Hobbled home with aching ankles, bruised hands and severely dented pride.

Luckily my run of bad luck seemed to appease whichever deity I’d pissed off so the next day was fine!

Bloody hell, that's epic! I'm picturing it happening cartoon style! Isn't it made worse by how embarrassed you feel having this happen as an adult?

passes to *Hunter

Oh it felt like a cartoon! I actually reached the point where I just sat in the ground giggling at the absurdity of it all. DH was stood there going ‘um are you ok?’. Think he thought I’d gone mental!

(Accepts 🍷 and proposes a toast to all of us having a bad or just plain weird day)

Yes it's Friday 13th
I smashed a plate this morning
Got a parking ticket
Hoping the third thing was Boris 😣

A parking ticket really does suck. Actually, Boris. That has to be as bad as this day gets surely?

I'm not on the wine yet but I am having a coffee and donut with Lady Gaga on Alexa so today will be salvaged.

Enjoy the rest of your Friday, fellow Universe Punching Bags