Abnormal Smear- Please help- I can't sleep for worrying

[TheDevilsPedicure]

6 years ago I had my first smear, it came back with abnormal cell changes and HPV present so I had a colposcopy. That showed CIN2 changes and I had LLETZ.

I've been on yearly recall since then and all have been fine. I had a smear a year ago which cane back fine.

Had one 3 weeks ago and got the results yesterday. There are abnormal cell changes and HPV is present. I'm being referred for another colposcopy.

I'm absolutely terrified this time. The consultant last time told me it was unlikely I would ever need treatment again. What's happening? I also read that usually HPV goes but I still have it.

Has anyone been through similar? I'm so scared. I had pelvic pain earlier this year and they could find no reason, surely cancer couldn't develop so fast after my last smear was fine?

The letter said borderline changes- is this specific to me? Would the letter have said if the changes were more severe.

I've been trying not to worry but I'm petrified. I keep thinking about cancer and dying. Or hysterectomies. Or having no cervix left. No more babies. I have two but I'm not ready to have the door shut on having more.

Please help!

Forgive me for posting in chat too I just thought more people might see.

I’ve been where you are, Op.

Honestly. I have been ok. Recalled annually for 12 years, had colposcopies and further procedures and I’m ok.

They’re looking after you, that’s what you need to remember. You’re in the system and you’re being cared for.

It’s only natural and you’re allowed to. Your concerns are ‘normal’.

Be gentle on yourself

OP, you can spend your time worrying yourself sick over this unnecessarily,or you can put it to the back of your mind and get on with your day. Both options will have absolutely no impact on the outcome of the results. Try not to think of the 'what ifs' but focus on the here and now.
Once you have your colposcopy then you will know the options. Have you got a date for that?

Sorry, having just read that back, I sound quite harsh! I meant to come across as kind but matter of fact, IYSWIM.
But I do try to practice what I preach and put things like this to the back of my mind until I'm in full possession of the facts. Otherwise I'd go to pieces. I guess it's self preservation.

Thankyou.

No date yet. I've been through so much stress this past year, it's hard not to be in a soon about it. And something else going wrong too.

Surely if my last one was ok a year ago then if can't have got that bad in just a year?

It's the waiting as well @Soontobe60. All over Xmas. And going through it all again.

I'm scared of the worst happening and the kids being left with awful ex.

I’m sure once you have HPV you have it for life?

This happened to me & I rang my colposcopy clinic absolutely terrified. The nurse was really lovely & basically explained that if it was anything to worry about they would have me in to be seen ASAP like in a week or so. The fact they havent even gave u a date is very reassuring! The nurse had said that basically they don't dick around with cancer.
My dad recently got diagnosed with cancer & all his appointments have been made within about a week of each other.

@starflake thankyou 💐 that's reassuring. I phoned my GP and they said similar.

@OrangeTwirlGate this suggests otherwise. Apparently the immune system will often get rid of HPV

www.jostrust.org.uk/information/hpv/what-is-hpv

@starflake best wishes for your dad as well

Not smear-related, but to reiterate that if they think it might possibly be cancer, they would move much faster. I recently got referred for a suspect mole. It all moved very fast and I was seen at hospital within two weeks of seeing my GP. (I’m fine, it was nothing).

The waiting and worrying is horrible, though, I know that, but try to be reassured by what your practice have said

@DarlingNikita thankyou, and I'm glad to hear your mole was ok. I'm trying to be reassured. It said borderline cell changes in the letter, hopefully that is good. And that's why I'm glad to be on yearly recall- I'm going to make it clear I want yearly recall for as long as possible. I had an aunt (not blood relative) who died of cervical cancer in her mid 30s. My mum also had to have similar treatment to me.

Very grateful for our screening programme.

do not panic (although I know you will ). You're in the system and they'll watch you like a hawk.

I had this year's ago. 2 lots of LLETZ treatments then another scare after I had dc's, had a preventive hysterectomy that time.

Oh god meglet 💐😩 I'm so scared of having a hysterectomy.

12 years ago I had cin3, and needed a colp and lletz treatment. Was on yearly smears for a while - all clear.
3 years ago I had my smear and hpv+ but no abnormal cells. Back on annual smears and same again and again this year, so was referred for colposcopy. I'm not going to lie, I was thinking the worst as I'd also had some slight bleeding after sex / between periods.

Had my colp in Sept and all clear, no treatment needed. Biopsies clear too, I just go next Yr for another smear.

Colp nurse said hpv can reappear due to age (I'm 45 and perimenopausal.)

The most important thing is that you're in the system so that any changes can be looked at ASAP. Good luck op. I'm sure you'll be fine

Hysterectomy isn't as bad as you think OP. It's usually done keyhole and just an overnight stay. I had mine after a couple of LLETZ procedures because they couldn't be 100% sure they had got all of the dodgy cells. They don't mess about so if they have seen borderline changes they'll probably want to discuss another LLETZ or something. Call them! I left a very teary message one time after getting a surprise letter like you and they called me back to explain what the appointment was for.

@GreenBasket I'm 31, I really do not want a hysterectomy at this stage of my life. I've had two c-sections so the surgery doesn't bother me but being so young and not being able to have more kids if I chose is devastating. Thankyou for sharing though appreciate all the advice.

Thankyou @TheGirlFromStoryville

I had CIN3 at 22 and am now late 50's. I have always been on yearly smears as there is always a change. I have had loads of treatments. But the thing I want to say is that there is no way you would have gotten cancer cells so quickly from one year to the next. They reassure me about this every time I go. The good news is that the HPV cells have showed up, they come years before Cancer my consultant told me and they are very easily treatable.

@TheDevilsPedicure hey sorry to jump on just wanted to see how you got on. I'm waiting for my results after my 6 monthly smear check from my LLETZ and I'm so nervous. I hope your doing ok x

I have HPV for a few years now, my immune system hasn’t gotten around to clearing it either.

There may not be any changes when they do the colposcopy - I had minor changes which reverted to normal within 6 months with no treatment so that could very well be the same for you OP. Best of luck xx being a woman sucks!