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Original poster

Help! Son is refusing to vote

106 replies

Onenightonlyplease · 12/12/2019 17:21

Quick - I need persuasive arguments to get my 19yr old son to vote. He's on his way home and when I reminded him he needed to vote when he got back he's point blank refusing.
I don't want to get into an argument over text with him and he is beyond stubborn so I need help to persuade/force him to vote tonight when he gets home!!!

OP posts:
Foslady · 12/12/2019 18:52

Oh - and if he says ‘that is the party I would have voted for’ remind him that by not voting he voted for every party that he wouldn’t have!

eaglejulesk · 12/12/2019 18:53

He's old enough to vote, he's old enough to decide not to - whatever the reason. You can't control this so just back off.

Original poster
Onenightonlyplease · 12/12/2019 18:53

Ha! I'm guessing I'm not coming across well?!!
Nobody would ever consider me as over-bearing or controlling!!
As I've explained, it's his reason that disappoints me. I'm not sure how someone, who is probably the most passionate in our family when it comes to discussing politicians and policies can then say he can't be arsed to vote in a GE because he'll have less time gaming!
But I know how stubborn he is so if I said you must/need to vote he'll simply dig his heels in so that's why I asked for help to persuade him, the forceful part was meant to be lighthearted but I can see that didn't come across!!
I was just hoping that someone might know how to persuade a young adult to vote, in a way that's relevant to them?

OP posts:

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19 years old
Bluerussian · 12/12/2019 18:54

Not your business, onenightonly. You can't control how your children think.

Goldenchildsmum · 12/12/2019 18:57

I was just hoping that someone might know how to persuade a young adult to vote, in a way that's relevant to them?

I think your son knows he should vote and why. You've brought him up well!

I think he's probably tired and can't be bothered. Maybe he thinks his vote won't make a difference in your constituency.

lowlandLucky · 12/12/2019 18:59

Nowt to do with you, he is a man not a boy, time to start treating him like one

Babybel90 · 12/12/2019 19:01

I bet you iron his pants for him, don’t you?

TheSandman · 12/12/2019 19:02

Just tell him he has no right to complain about anything the next government does that affects him. Nothing. At all. Nothing.

bellinisurge · 12/12/2019 19:03

His choice. Mithering him will alienate him even more. If he regrets it, he'll vote next time. If you make it a thing his mum gets on at him about, he won't.

OhMsBeliever · 12/12/2019 19:08

Bribe him.

That's what I did with my son when he said he wouldn't go and vote. Our polling station is next to the shops so I said I'd buy whatever drink he wanted if he came with me and voted. So he did. And he got his orange juice. Grin

firstimemamma · 12/12/2019 19:09

Just seen your update op.

I can understand you're disappointed in your son for not voting (I'd secretly be a bit disappointed if my son didn't vote to) but you really need to let go of this idea of needing to 'persuade' him. He's 19, he's not going to be perfect.

If you keep insisting he votes then once he's left the nest he may well be an adult who never votes because you put him off by being pushy.

Stuff like this happens all the time with other areas of life. There are lots of children who are never allowed biscuits who then grow up to be adults who binge eat biscuits. Or kids who grow up with strict bedroom cleaning rules. They end up being super messy adults because of how they were brought up.

If you just leave him be he might decide on his own at say 22 to start voting every time. Wouldn't you rather have it that way than persuade him and persuade him which could risk putting him off long term?

MerryDeath · 12/12/2019 19:10

it's a shame but it's his business. when he grows up a bit perhaps he'll feel more strongly.

SpiderCharlotte · 12/12/2019 19:10

Well he's an adult making a choice. It's a shit choice but it's his right to make it. I totally get why you're pissed off though.

Bluntness100 · 12/12/2019 19:10

I'd just say I was embarrassed of him. Ashamed he couldn't even be arsed voting because he cares so little. His first general election he's eligible to vote in and he doesn't care enough to do it. That you'd not guessed all his talk was just that.

And leave it there.

Nicknacky · 12/12/2019 19:27

Goodness me, the fact you even started a thread about this (of course NOW it’s lighthearted!) shows how over bearing you are being.

And as for the posters who are encouraging you with controlling suggestions...🤦🏻‍♀️

Deadsouls · 12/12/2019 19:30

Why doesn't he want to vote?

Schoolchoicesucks · 12/12/2019 19:30

I'd be gutted if my DC didn't vote (they're not old enough). I assume that the OP isn't actually intending to FORCE him to vote and was after some pointers that may help persuade or encourage him to.

And that the "controlling" suggestions were rather tongue in cheek.

Given the vocal political nature of lots of mumsnet posters I'm quite surprised so many are telling her to leave him. I would definitely be encouraging my DC to vote too.

Deadsouls · 12/12/2019 19:33

I kind of understand your frustration.
My dad refuses to register to vote and I feel angry and disappointed.
But in the end, all I could do was send him the link to the government register to vote site, and the link to vote by proxy (I could vote postal for him by proxy).
I did my best, and then had to let it go.

(He didn't register to vote)

Puzzledandpissedoff · 12/12/2019 19:33

My disappointment is that he'd rather have an extra 15 minutes on his Xbox than vote for the next government that will run this country for the next 4-5 years, especially when he is usually so vocal and opinionated on politics

If it makes you feel any better he's hardly alone ... just another shouty youngster who'll bail out if there's the slightest inconvenience to himself

I fully appreciate there are some deeply committed and thoughtful 19 year olds, but too many I know take your DS's approach instead. PPs are right that it's not for you to persuade him, but looking on the bright side, at least you'll no longer have to listen to him banging on

prettygreenteacup · 12/12/2019 19:36

Everyone is entitled not to vote if they so wish.

The only valid argument you can give him is that he can't complain or moan about our government if he chose not to use his right to vote.

SleepingStandingUp · 12/12/2019 19:37

I don't care who he votes for actually!
Then no vote is just as much a valid choice

*voting is a right and a responsibility. It does my head in when people whinge about governments and policies but admit they can't be bothered to vote× so absolutely shut him down every time he goes to comment on it.

He isn't voting because he'll lose 15 mins of gaming see him not voting is much more sensible than him blindly ticking a box. An uninformed humour the mother vote is worse than no vote imo

namina · 12/12/2019 19:41

His choice, what a control freak

lljkk · 12/12/2019 19:42

I'll give OP my 20yo DS who voted BxP today .

LemonPrism · 12/12/2019 19:45

If he's normally vocal about politics then remind him that he's pathetic and not allowed to moan about the Tories when they get in.

Oh and that his friends will think he's a right loser

LemonPrism · 12/12/2019 19:46

Oh and yes, WiFi off!