DS turned 13 a couple of weeks ago. He's in Y8.
At primary school he was popular, well loves, a kind, caring, lovely, sweet kid.
Year 7 was not great.
Year 8 and he's a fucking nightmare. My head hurts tonight, I shouted. I've had enough.
I get emails or calls from the school once a week.
He was found with a lighter. (We don't smoke, he said he found it on the play ground floor).
He's disrupting the class.
He's doing infantile things with friends, hiding during drama.
He's disrupting the class.
He's not doing the task in hand.
He's distrusting the class.
He walked out a class and missed most of the next lesson.
The school give detention.
I have taken his phone awake for 1 week at a time.
He's been grounded, 1 week at a time.
He has a hobby that he's obsessed with but involves being outside practicing for hours (he's basically semi pro) and he's painfully gutted to miss this when grounded.
But all the sanctions don't work.
After the last two things, truanting and finding a lighter, he's grounded for a month.
Because I want an improvement in behaviour I said for every week he has no bad behaviour, he can lose 3 days off his month grounding. He could effectively cut it in half if he's smart.
That was 3 days ago.
I've had two emails since about bad behaviour.
He ALWAYS denies it. The teachers hate him, he wasn't even there, it was his friend, I don't remember that. What?! When?! I wasn't even there etc etc etc
He was bullied in Y7 so switched a lot of classes. He swore his behaviour would improve if he switched classes. He admits he's no longer bullied but still acts up.
He had a tantrum today after I took his phone off him for good (he was allowed it while we were at work, he can now rely on the landline for emergencies) smashed up his advent calendar and said he wanted to mill himself.
He sees a counsellor at school and I'm calling a private one on Friday.
Help....?