If you have/had depression, what helpful things did your employer do?

[m0therofdragons]

I manage a small team and last week one member came to me and broke down as they'd just been put on antidepressants and are struggling. It's mostly home issues but job is new to them so there's a lot to learn which is overwhelming at times. I do my best to be available and give clear guidance but our roles are naturally unpredictable. She can also see when I'm busy but I've made it clear she can and she's a priority.

She's good at her job, makes mistakes but she's learning so I'd expect that. She's very lacking in confidence but really needn't be. I think she's got imposter syndrome a bit.

I've never managed someone with depression and don't have anyone close who's been through it either so I wondered if any mnetters have any advice for things I can do to help?

Honestly I've been where she is and one particular manager, not even working in the same store, promptly took me under his wing, taught me, not only my job but parts of his too. I was terrified of making mistakes and would panic about getting in trouble so he taught me how to fix my own errors, gave me his authorisation code to use if I had to fix something and never seemed to tire of explaining and re-explaining things as many times as it took. Probably the most helpful piece of advice was that, short of decking a customer, there really wasnt that much I could screw up that he couldn't fix as long as he knew what I'd done so don't worry about it just be upfront if I cocked up.

A year on I'm still there, excelling at the job I believed myself to be shit at and he's a close friend and confidante as well as a very highly respected manager and the first person I call when things go tits up because I know he won't be mad. The best thing you can do is support her and try not to lose patience if she struggles to grasp things. Just be approachable and compassionate and avoid adding to her problems is all you can really do but she'll appreciate the support.

Does your employer offer an assistance programme you can guide them to? Can you refer to Occ Health for support? Many employees are unaware of/wary of using such services so as a line manager where these are in place my first step is always to discuss this

You're halfway there because you are a compassionate manager.

Contact HR for support. As the poster above suggested see if there is an Employee Assistance sevice that you can direct your team member to.

Have a weekly check in to see how they're doing. What adjustments would help them be comfortable at work and transition them back e.g. maybe presentations or speaking out in a team meeting make them anxious, can they work from home a couple of days a week if that would make them more comfortable for a while, would they thrive from more regular positive feedback from you after a task well done, can you be with them on important meetings with senior people to help facilitate the discussion....

The important thing is that you care and want to support. Keep the dialogue open so they know they can be honest with you about how they are feeling.

Respect their confidentiality and ensure the rest of the team dont treat them differently.

Watch out for red flags such as sending emails late at night, turning up late to work, not observing self care...

Make it clear to her that you believe in her abilities, respect her competence, know that she will manage. You sound lovely.

Thank you. That sounds like I'm on the right page. I've told our director (with her permission) and he's had a chat with her today. He's lovely so I'm sure that will have been helpful. I'm going to look into occupational health as we do have it so then I can ask her if she'd like me to refer her.

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut can I come and work with you?

Gave me time off to attend a mindfulness and stress control course which took about an hour out of my working time each week. If this hasn't been possible I would have probably been off sick

Please do, we're horribly short staffed!

I second PPs , I am a manager and had to deal with one member of staff stuffing from depression and anxiety.
He needed to take some time off work so I kept in touch via the occasional text ( our normal way of communicating)
I helped him get in touch with occy health .
He is on the mend now and told me the support myself and our HR gave him helped him a lot.
We meet up for a coffee a couple of times out side of work where we just chatted about stuff ( avoided talking shop )

The one thing I would caution against is try not to get drawn into any issues regarding her family e.g. DH /DC/ DM etc are making it worst / don't understand .
Although you can be understanding it can get tricky when your asked it it me or them kind of questions

I think you need to be careful of not veering into favouritism. Lots of people go through stuff and dont talk about it and if you are seen as more lenient on one its really not fair.
They should be treated as per company policy which needs to be transparent so if someone else is suffering they can know what to expect.

My manager temporary reduced my case load and gave me easy 'quick fix' allocations.
Told me to take time out in the day if I needed it.
Asked if I needed to check in with her or not ( she wanted to be there to listen if I needed it but didn't want my to feel she was imposing)
Let me do late starts and late finishes ( suited me better rather than the mix shifts we usually do)
Didn't discuss it with other staff members. I don't think anyone mentioned my 'special treatment' as other staff have different needs that she does her best for. e.g. child care issues, some one has a disabled child and even dog issues!

We now have a 'wellness' hour once a week where we can take time out to do something beneficial for our mental health. Some people run, others read, some meditate but that one hour has been great. We do talk about what we do in our staff meeting ( you don't have to ) to share ideas. Some people have joined together to go for a walk in the woods near out building and a couple of others knit together!

I think work is probably a better place for her to be than at home so I don't think she'll be likely to go off sick so long as we can give the support she needs.

As a newer member of staff I'm assessing the training and support she needs and adapting to that, as I would with any staff member so there's no favouritism. I want her to believe she's worthy of the role and valued not only by me but by our organisation. I want that for all my team and my colleagues.