Would your school call for this?

[confusedofengland]

I had a phone call from the Junior school at 2pm. It was to say my DS1 (11 next week, Year 6) had a tummy ache. They then put him on the phone to me. I asked if he had been sick or had diarrhoea or if he needed the loo. He said no to all those. I then established that he was doing work on the iPad this afternoon & so could sit quietly. I said to him that I couldn't easily come & get him (halfway through weekly shop) & that as pick up was just over an hour (3.15), he should try to sit quietly until pick up time, but to go back to the office if it got worse.

I haven't heard anything more so assume no big disaster, but feel rather worried & guilty. I think he just wanted to come home & have a hug (which he can do very shortly). I do feel that if school thought I was at work, they wouldn't call me for this. FWIW, I work on an ad hoc basis, so not regular hours. They have also called me before because he & I argued before he left for school & he was upset.

AIBU, should I have left the shopping & gone to collect him?

Depend in the child.
If dd1 had said that I would have known there was something seriously wrong-not necessarily sickness, but something she really needed comfort for.
If dd2 or ds said that I'd have said similar to you unless I'd known they were already under the weather.

I think it's good the school contact you for both you child's emotional (upset after argument) and physical welfare. It shows he is listened to. No you're not being unreasonable not to collect him when it's so close to pick up anyway

I know with my school that my child can go to first aid at 10am and they will delay until 2pm to call me. My child says they first say to rest for an hour to see if you get better. Then they say try the next class, it’s the last before lunch so they get sent back to class. Then they have to go back after lunch and say they are still sick. The school then says oh the day is almost over, try sitting in each class for ten minutes just so you know what is going on. Can you not power through the rest of the day? Etc etc.
So I would ask your child when they first reported that they were sick and how long it took for the school to agree to call you.

I can't believe you left your child because you were doing the weekly shop.

Normally no I wouldn't send home under those situations. We constantly distract unless we think the child is really unwell or they're really upset. We generally know who is really unwell because they never complain.
However there are so many bugs going round at the moment that someone who normally doesn't make a fuss getting upset I would probably call.

YANBU. He's 11. I bet he was fine.

I very much doubt them calling or not has anything to do with whether parents are at work or not.

It depends on the child, some will often say they have tummy aches, others very rarely. if they have a child who very rarely complains of feeling ill, you can imagine they might want to err on the side of caution in case its the start of a bug.

I’m a teacher. I wouldn’t always call for a stomach ache but times I would include:
Child never normally complains of being ill
Child looks really unwell
Child has complained repeatedly over a significant period of time, especially if doing something that would normally be considered ‘fun’ eg using iPads
Lots of children ill with similar symptoms & therefore more likely to be down to a bug

Hope your ds is ok.

🤷🏽‍♀️Stomach ache can be a prequel to throwing up or diarrhoea. They were giving you the choice as a parent to decide what was best for your child.

Ps 'playing with iPads’ means it’s a lesson that maybe won’t matter if he went home as opposed to maths, for example.

I can't believe you left your child because you were doing the weekly shop

He wasn't in an ambulance

Have you worked in a primary school? Do you know how many children complain they don't feel well only to either join in dancing in class or running around outside at play and then suddenly remember they are meant to be ill?

I have and do volunteer in a primary school. For a year 6 child it is a lesson to learn that when you go to secondary even if you throw up they will try to keep you in school. There is no 48 hour rule in most secondaries.

But a 2pm phone call for a child who hasn't been sick or sat on a toilet for a long time? No, we would try to encourage them to see through the day. Sometimes they need to hear it from a parent that they should stay in school.

Also if a parent is working, sometimes they are over an hour away.

Of course secondary schools will send children home if they throw up. And with the recent norovirus outbreaks in many areas, many of them have been reminding parents of the 48 hour rule.

YANBU. He's 11!

Hope he's feeling ok now.

I've only ever been called once about illness from school when DD was really quite poorly.

I work in a primary school and normally wouldn't call home for tummy ache however we have a number of schools closed in the area with norovirus so everyone is getting sent home as a precaution.

It might be because of the norovirus outbreak and they were being cautious because he complained of of a tummy ache. It was your choice as a parent to then decide if it was in the best interest of your child to pick him up or not. I wouldn't have stopped shopping bit I might have fone to pick him up on the way home maybe? My childs school calls the parents regularly for similar reasons also. I'd think it's the norm for most primary schools.

Interesting mix of answers, thank you all!

He went back to class & I picked up as usual. He came bounding out of class, with a big grin on his face & told me he did 'a massive poo' at 2.50pm & felt better since. That is the first thing I always ask when they have tummy ache so in a way my instinct was correct. He did also mention his best friend is being mean to him & they are in the same group for a trip tomorrow, so that was probably worrying him too.

He is the sort to go to the office quite a lot & they invariably call me when he does. DS2 (8) never goes to the office & will only complain if seriously ill eg actually vomiting or bleeding!

I'm with you op!

That is the first thing I always ask when they have tummy ache so in a way my instinct was correct

Well yes, because you know your child. Which is why the school will have phoned - because you know him better than them.

Turn it around - he complained of tummy ache, they did nothing and he threw up everywhere or had a diarrhoea accident. Then you’d be complaining as well 🤷🏽‍♀️

Schools can’t get it right whatever they do sometimes.

I can't believe you left your child for the weekly shop

What should she have done, abandoned the trolley in the aisle and run screaming for the exit?

I wasn't complaining. I was wondering if this was normal practise for a Year 6 child. The school office are very caring & good with the children, which is great, but this seemed a bit unusual to me.

😂 my son had to be sent home because he needed a poo the other day but he has special needs and "cant" use the school toilet I've sent his toilet seat in now just in case 🤷‍♀️ he is year two but very set in his ways