Mainstream school provision for autism

[ByeGermsByeWorries]

Does it actually exist? Because I'm really struggling right now. For the umpteenth time the primary school have asked me to collect my child from school early because he is having a meltdown, they no longer want him to come to the breakfast or after school clubs and as a result now I will lose my job as there are no options for other hours that I am able to meet. I was already working as bank staff as I can't commit to set hours but now without the breakfast or after school provision they simply won't bother offering me any work because I can't cover the entire period.

I moved DS to this school over a year ago when we moved house. DS is 8 and has ASD and SPD. He has an ECHP and a full time 1-1 as he needs supervision at all times. He only once in a blue moon has a meltdown at home however when he is at school it is all the time because they keep forcing him to spend time with other children some of whom also have needs but no 1-1 of their own due to rejected ECHP, no diagnosis etc so his 1-1 has to take other children on as well to help the class teacher.

This school promised they would be able to handle his needs over and above the other option, even though it was further away they made me feel as if they were better equipped. Every time I collect from school at the normal time I am told everything is fine and he's had a great day. Nobody ever fills me in on the truth.

On some days I will be called randomly to collect him early, then without fail the headteacher will ring me to collect and say there has been "bad behaviour" and "several incidents" all week. They will then enforce some stupid plan such as "he can only come in for half days next week the staff need a break" or "please don't come back until next week now". None of this is documented etc.

I don't know what I'm asking I'm just in tears because I don't know what to do next I can't keep hanging around the house doing nothing all day because they call me to collect. I can't get another job because I have to keep leaving early or can't work when DS is not allowed to come to school. I've already asked about other settings and have been told by the head that there are no places.

The behaviours the school are struggling with are

Hitting,slapping, pinching people on the arms
Hitting himself
Screaming
Throwing objects.

I know these aren't nice behaviours and pose a danger to other children and staff but given that this was discussed when I applied for the school and they assured me they had the facility and resource to manage these behaviours I feel like I should be able to expect them to be able to cope.

I would move him. It doesn't sound as if the school is equipped to provide him with the support he needs. It's not up to the head to say whether other schools have places. If they keep sending him home, then they're not providing an education.

Are there any special schools near you?

This is the second school we have had to move from because they spin a yarn that they have the facilities and then can't manage. What do they get out of taking on SN kids? Why take them in the first place if they say they can manage the behaviour but know they can't?

There is a special school near me yes but I've been told by the head of our current school that they won't give any help in regards to it because it is full

Contact your local council education department as this sounds like illegal exclusions. If they can't manage then they need to request an urgent review of his EHCP and ask for further support from the local authority. Find out who deals with this support to the school (all authorities seem to call it something different) but it will possibly be within pupil entitlement/fair access or the SEND provision

My friend had similar op. Who is your council contact? The school shouldn't be coming back to you because their staff need a break they should be contacting the council. I would push and push to get him out of mainstream given what you have described. My friend wanted her son to be mainstream but ultimately they were completely ill equipped to deal with his needs. He has developed enormously since being in an appropriate setting and my friend looks about 10 years younger.

This is completely unfair on you by the way. I'm so sorry you are having to cope with this.

Mine was throughout but she didn't lash out, she instead has anxiety and school phobia issues - she's super bright too. Girls cope better

That's so hard OP and so wrong .The staff need a break !!!!!

I don't know what to add to above ,a change of school is necessary . I wonder if contacting a local councillor might help ?

If the head is calling it "bad " behaviour and telling you to keep him away there's no chance of proper support where he is .

Poor kid ,poor you

He only once in a blue moon has a meltdown at home however when he is at school it is all the time because they keep forcing him to spend time with other children some of whom also have needs but no 1-1 of their own due to rejected ECHP, no diagnosis etc so his 1-1 has to take other children on as well to help the class teacher.

Does it say in his EHCP he gets a 1:1? If so, the school cannot do this. Try to call SOS SEN for some advice.

I am sorry you are in this position. ASD is poorly understood and supported.
I know is hard, but what do you think your son needs - then fight for it.

I think i'd start with making the school record these illegal exclusions properly.
Then ask for a review of the ehcp urgently. Then get advice from sossen and ipsea on the wording of the ehcp and make sure its watertight and enforceable.
Also a school might be full now but you need to think long term so if the right placemdnt comes up you are in a position to take it.

I’ve literally spent the last six months fighting for specialist schools places for my twins with ASD. It’s the only option here - provision depends so much on where you are sadly.

A few comments that may or not help.

• If he has a 1-1 then that 1-1 is for him and not for other children.
• Saying 'do mornings only' or 'don't come back until next week' could count as illegal exclusion

What do you want? The school to look after him properly, or pressure to get him a space in a special school? How you approach this might differ depending on your preferred outcome.

It is not up to the head to decide if there's space for him in the special school - that's down to the council (and the school itself).

Teen's questions are good - what outcome are you looking for?

The 1-1 is in his ECHP. However when we first joined the school, he too was using someone else's until the plan came through.

What I want is a stable routine where he goes to
School and comes back at the same time where he is supported and I don't have to hang about expecting to be called in and not know from one day to the next whether he will be in school the following days or not. It's not fair on us as a family because my employment and therefore household income is affected and it is most of all not fair on DS because he needs routine and also when the school does this it makes him feel rejected, depressed and anxious and he hurts himself and that hurts me. I honestly am nearing the end of my patience with the school.

i.e.

If you are looking for evidence the school can't cope you say 'Look he has a 1-1 but here are all the times I've been called in to collect early, and here are all the times they've said for him not to go in. they clearly can't cope you need to find a special school place.'

Whereas if looking for better support you say 'his 1-1 seems to get pulled across to help with other children and also DS isn't being removed before situations get too stressful. Please can school be told to give him his 1-1 properly, and does 1-1 need more training/support in recognising when a situation is getting too much and info on how to calm him?'

Im not surprised you are fed up.
I really wood make them record each time he gets sent home as an exclusion.
My ds is in a special school part time so i really do know where you are coming from. Every day its tenterhooks waiting for the phone to ring.
Have you applied for DLA and carers allowance

I was going to mention DLA and carers.

DD1 was with her father when she began school and he didn't apply despite being repeatedly sanctioned by the job centre because never mind the jobs he couldn't take because no one lived near enough to him to help with wraparound, he misses various appointments because he was constantly called in to collect or clean her (thankfully after 12 years this is finally an issue she can deal with herself if it arises).

It probably won't be anywhere near what you can make as bank staff. But it's a start.

I really hope this is sorted soon. One of my DD2s friends has gone through very similar and his mum had to become vocal about it, ie in front of other parents who knew the score but it embarrassed the school, and she had to make so many calls and send so many emails. It has finally paid off. So please don't stop shouting for what your child needs.

We've already had the whole chat about the other kids with the 1-1 it's fallen on deaf ears. Autism outreach have been in countless times to provide advice on spotting signs that DS is becoming stressed. The other kids in the class also tend to goad him when the 1-1 is distracted,until he explodes and then my DS gets the blame for lashing out or losing his rag and these are the times I am called but it's becoming regularly twice a week at this point. Four times in the academic year I have been called to collect on a Wednesday/Thursday lunchtime and have been told "we will see you on Monday" other times it is just for the rest of that day usually lunchtime play which is when he seems to be most volatile and yet most unsupervised. Twice I have been told to have a week of half days. As you can see it's I'm attempting to request to get an emergency ECHP meeting scheduled before EOT as if nothing happens before the holiday nothing will happen at all I fear. Not really sure what I'm doing at this point aside from ranting

Can you ask the school to arrange an emergency review of his EHCP and ask for the provision to be changed because the current provision cannot meet his needs.

Oops that should have said "as you can see it's frequent"

Apologies. I posted before I read your last post and see you have requested an emergency review. I think a review recommending a change in provision might be the only way that change can be effected.

I'm so sorry to read about your struggles and wonder whether it's time to now formalise your frustration by beginning a grievance process through school. They will have their complaints policy on the school web site and what to do if you're not satisfied with their resolution. What's the chair of governors like? Is she or he likely to fight your corner?
My DS is also on the spectrum, but very high functioning. Because of this he has never had his needs met adequately. In the end we moved him to a tiny independent Primary locally and he's happier there, although it's not perfect.
Good luck.

I agree with others that these are illegal exclusions. Do you think his 1:1 is the right person for your DS ?(assuming it's the same person all the time). My DS had 1:1 from reception although he wasn't statemented (before EHCP's) until he was diagnosed in Yr 2. It took a while to get the right 'fit' by way of TA - some of them were just a disaster and had no idea how to stay 1 step ahead of DH and predict his mood. Eventually after a number of switch arounds in the school we got the right person. My DS often seemed to share his TA but if things were going well - his needs were priority. I stopped getting the phone calls to collect once the school got it right - although he always went back in the next day if he got sent home.

Are they keeping a log/diary of what was happening immediately before the meltdowns so they know what the trigger was?

I've never met the chair of governors I don't really know anything about that side if things. I rarely get any detail things are just glossed over unless they are telling me how "poorly behaved" or "concerning" my DS is. They have meetings that I am not invited to attend. There was one two weeks ago that I tried to attend to get in the loop in case the reason I never received an invite was because they thought I was not interested - and was told it was for staff only and "nothing to be concerned about your presence is not required".

I feel very shut out as I'm Not told what is going on until DS loses his temper and then when I'm hauled in I'm told how "awful" he's been and how the staff are being abused. i understand they don't go to work to be abused but I was told that they were trained to deal with SEN when actually it just seems like a group of regular teachers thrown in at the deep end without guidance who end up getting hurt trying to physically restrain DS. He's small and thin and I've never known him to be anything other than peaceful but apparently he injures them.

They ask me during these visits what I do at home to prevent the behaviour and what consequences do I put in place. I can't give them any ideas because we don't experience that behaviour.

This is why I am at a loss to understand what is in it for the school. Why did the head put so much effort into assuring us this was the right place when they know they are ill equipped? Would it not have been easier to just say no sorry we cannot cater for the needs your son has.

I don't think there is any proper support for autistic children in schools. Ds is 15 and recently diagnosed. He does not have any behaviour issues in school but has huge social communication problems, isolation and mental health difficulties both in and out of school. The Senco emailed me last week and told me that because he doesn't have an EHCP then there is absolutely no funds to pay fo the support they have recently referred him for (we mistakenly thought that they paid for the first £6000 of support) So we pay or he doesn't get it. Ds is in his gcse year and I spent much of the weekend crying.

I'm sorry things are so tough for your ds and you too 💐. It helps to rant sometimes!