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Original poster

What IS it with men and Christmas?

32 replies

Zaphodsotherhead · 09/12/2019 10:44

I work with a lot of men and have, ahem, been with a lot of men, and I do not know ONE that says 'oh, goodie, I LOVE Christmas!' They all act as though it's some kind of dreadful punishment to be on holiday from work, eating lot of lovely food and being bought presents. Very few of them will actually participate in the present buying for their kids, they will buy their wife/partner 'something', but usually be in paroxysms of fear for weeks beforehand about what to buy.

I've stopped asking them now about Christmas. Women are, mostly, keen on the whole thing, even those doing all the work and only getting one day off from work (we are retail). Friends report the same phenomenon.

So, what is it? (And yes, I am probably being hugely unreasonable and as many women hate the whole thing and it's not all men etc etc, but the gender bias is noticeable where I am!)

OP posts:
Foslady · 09/12/2019 11:00

After having too many Christmas’s purposely wreaked by ex’s, then 10 years of trying to create great Christmas’s for dd on my own (when all her friends were in traditional 2 parents 2 kids families) I now have the situation of me being the unenthusiastic one and dp going all out (Christmas tree shopping was ‘interesting’) - keen time see what others make of this!

OrangeHue · 09/12/2019 11:01

My husband loves Christmas and has taken two weeks off. Not sure if your generalisation about men is correct

Nottobesoldseparately · 09/12/2019 11:04

My DH doesn't get involved in the shopping* side of Xmas but does fully embrace the decorations, food, family time and drink.

*He happily hands over the cash to pay for it all tho so we both win.

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AnneLovesGilbert · 09/12/2019 11:05

I don’t know any men like that. None.

00100001 · 09/12/2019 11:06

My DH likes the idea of Christmas but does very little to contribute!

Pilot12 · 09/12/2019 11:08

My DP loves Christmas, he puts the tree up at the end of November so we're all set for the 1st Dec and I'm not allowed to take it down until 12th night (if I don't take it all down he'd leave it up all year). He insists on as many turkey dinners as he can get in December. I think you've been unlucky and met the wrong men!

IveGotBillsTheyreMultiplying · 09/12/2019 11:08

My dh loves Xmas. He does most of the present buying, gets the tree. We wrap and do cards together. You are generalising.

Cruddles · 09/12/2019 11:10

My wife goes mad on the present buying, she sees it as her hobby. Fair enough, saves me the hassle and i wouldn't want to step on her toes. But i enjoy Christmas, especially now I've got kids

FelixFelicis6 · 09/12/2019 11:21

My DP loves Christmas! So afraid he doesn’t fit those generalisations. Does all the shopping for his side of family, cooks etc.

AutumnRose1 · 09/12/2019 11:28

some people love Xmas, some people hate it.

I don't think sex has anything to do with it.

MysweetAudrina · 09/12/2019 11:36

My dh participates fully in present buying, getting the tree, getting in food, spending time with family.

feelingverylazytoday · 09/12/2019 11:38

They probably just can't be arsed with all the fuss, and just go along with it for the sake of other people (especially if they have kids). I feel exactly the same way. It was ok when my kids were little, I got pleasure from their excitement, but they're over that phase now.
I'd be perfectly happy if christmas was cancelled, tbh, and I think an increasing number of people (both men and women) are starting to think the same way.

rosie39forever · 09/12/2019 11:42

DH loves Christmas so much that it totally annoys me, starts singing Christmas songs in November, helps with and pays for all the presents and does tree and decs. He also does the food shop, does the prep and cooks the dinner. I don't know of any other man in our family/friends circle who does this, I'm definitely very lucky as im really not bothered by the whole thing.

KaptenKrusty · 09/12/2019 11:46

My Husband enjoys Christmas - and it's my dad who does the big Christmas shop and all the cooking in our house - so your choice of men must be the problem - not fair to generalise like that tbh

AgeLikeWine · 09/12/2019 11:54

I’m 100% with the blokes on this one. If Christmas was left to them, there would be a lot less of it, which would be a very good thing.

Christmas is awful. The greed, the waste, the grotesque throwaway consumerism, the enforced socialising with relatives you dislike, the rubbish on TV, the same tired, old boring crappy music every bloody year.

Christmas should be like the World Cup or the Olympics. Once every four years would be more than enough.

katy1213 · 09/12/2019 12:00

What a brilliant idea, Christmas every four years! Or even once a decade? I might quite enjoy it.

AutumnRose1 · 09/12/2019 12:01

"Christmas is awful. The greed, the waste, the grotesque throwaway consumerism, the enforced socialising with relatives you dislike, the rubbish on TV, the same tired, old boring crappy music every bloody year."

I can't quite track when this happened. I'm not much of a consumer and this has been bugging me for years. It's probably why I hate it but can't really remember that either. I do remember it was originally just a day or two instead of whatever it is now, a fortnight?

and I hear Xmas music is played in the shops from mid Nov. Surely that's covered under human rights law, if not employment law!!!

Original poster
Zaphodsotherhead · 09/12/2019 13:18

I'm not generalising. I did say in my OP that not all men are like that BUT ALL THE MEN I KNOW ARE. So that's not generalising, that's giving you my own personal experience. And that of most of my customers, which is a fair slice of the male population. Maybe it's unpopular for men to say they love Christmas, maybe they think it's unmacho to be enjoying it and they only express any enthusiasm to their nearest and dearest? Only it's pretty universal here to dismiss the hard work that women do, and for men to complain about it!

OP posts:
MissDew · 09/12/2019 13:30

Yeah, it's the cock that does the crowing but the hen lays the egg !

My husband likes Christmas he just does not like the hectoring to, 'just buy stuff.' Also, you are some sort of Grinch if you don't.

My husband has written and posted his overseas Christmas cards. He's got me my presents because we went Christmas shopping at the weekend.

I've got his Christmas presents at the same time.

He wanted a new Christmas tree as our current one is past it's best. I would have made it last another year as once it's decorated that's all you can see. However, the new tree is in it's box ready to be deployed.

As long as I don't do his brain in wrt Christmas he's alright about it.

He likes all the nice Christmas food we have.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 09/12/2019 13:40

I like setting up the tree, cooking the dinner, buying presents as long as I know what's wanted. I don't like the music (carols and the Messiah are ok), the Xmas movie channel (saccharin bollocks) or the tidal wave of alcohol.
Just had a thought: I might see if there's anyone needs volunteers, as DW's working on the day and the big family dinner and present giving is on Boxing Day.

Beansandcoffee · 09/12/2019 13:43

I agree with the men. A lot of work, expense and emotional stress for one day.

WatchingTheMoon · 09/12/2019 13:45

Tree, food, pantos, advent calendars (just chocolate ones, none of these beauty/lego ones), going to see the Nutcracker or similar, carols, nice long snowy walk...all great.

Buying tons of shit and stressing about whether you need to buy the binman a present - bollocks. I can't be arsed with it. I absolutely hate the consumer side of it.

I do think a lot of women end up with a ton of the work foisted on them, not in my house, thankfully.

Snaga · 09/12/2019 13:46

All the men I know love Christmas...they call me the Grinch!

My husband has sole responsibility for Christmas dinner, my only role is to eat it. I will concede that I wrap presents, but that's mostly because my husband's efforts look like a 2 year old trying to make a pastiche of a Christmas gift.

The last three days I've been nagged at because I don't want extra Christmas decorations, I don't want to wear Christmas themed clothes, I don't want to buy any Christmas presents (or even discuss them) and I basically want to cancel Christmas because it's a commericalised farce of a pagan festival retuned for the Christian faith.

I'd probably do your head in Zap or you'd call me Marvin instead of the Grinch

ForalltheSaints · 09/12/2019 14:03

I work with three men who love it, and the two women are not keen at all.

JaneJeffer · 09/12/2019 14:09

I identify as a man for Christmas then.