A whinge: babies, work and constant illness

[Mybobowler]

I've got a stinking cold with a nasty cough and I've had about nine hours sleep in total since Friday. My 11 month old and I are now in our third month of a constant cycle of illness, and as stupid as this sounds, I'm getting a bit down about it. I can't remember the last time I felt well and I'm just getting more depleted. I desperately want to call in sick tomorrow, but an unsympathetic boss, the fact that I've had two sick says since I went back in October, plus a number of annual leave days to look after poorly DD, mean I don't really have a choice.

I'm so fed up. How do other parents manage it? I've been up since midnight because baby won't settle and my alarm goes off in two and a half hours. I just want to pull the duvet over my head and sleep for a week.

Sounds so tough, your immune system is probably shot too with so little sleep. Do you have a partner or husband? Can s/he give you a break to actually rest? Or a close friend who could take dd for a few hours while you sleep? It's so hard, i've been there. Try to dose up on cold meds and vitamins (and iron!) in the meantime

The first winter of nursery is always hellish. Hang on in there- it's tough but once you're through it, both you and your DC will have much better immune systems.

Personally, a LOT of caffiene and sugar is involved in getting through this stage. It's not fun and I'm sick of it, but they do get less ill as they get older.

It is frustrating though as I'm muddling through at work rather than doing a really good job. I can't wait to sleep and start being more on the ball again.

Thanks for these replies! She eventually fell asleep shortly after I posted, but I lay awake until 5am (at which point I cancelled my alarm and gave myself a WFH day).

I am worried that the more exhausted I get, the more likely I am to pick stuff up and the harder it hits me. How do you break that cycle? I'll dig out the multivits.

I have a lovely partner and he does his best to give me some time off at the weekend, but it's not easy to get more than an hour or so.

This would all be so much easier if I had a boss who understood - mine just thinks I'm just a bit of a weakling. Ironically enough, I'm due to do a session on wellbeing at our team meeting this morning!

Why is your partner not sharing the night time wake ups with you? Or it doesn’t sound like he is anyway. And surely he can also take time off work for your dc? This is really hard op, I’ve been there myself and just muddled through and felt like utter shit most of the time, especially as my DH worked away. How were, their immune system gets much better after that first year and things do improve. Should definitely be a shared thing though and doesn’t actually sound like your dp is pulling his weight.

Are you breastfeeding? If so, make sure you are taking a full dose of bf multivitamins every day. Bf babies are little vampires and will suck all the good stuff out of you before you get what you need.

I really hope you feel better soon and sending a little solidarity your way as I'm struggling with poorly children as well and actually cried at work on Friday in front of my colleagues and my boss - the shame!

I am still breastfeeding at night (usually the quickest way to get her back to sleep) so I always get up with her initially. If she doesn't settle, my partner and I take it in turns. When she's not ill or teething (a distant memory) she usually only wakes up once at around 4am, and I feed her. He does try his best! He's just started a new job so it's not been easy for him to take any time off when she's been poorly. That'll change though, and fortunately he has a very understanding new boss.

The vampire analogy feels pretty apt! I'm just feeling utterly drained - I feel like I'm about to turn to dust. I've got some Floradix and a bag of clementines, that'll have to do for today! Thanks all for the solidarity. I was warned that they get ill a lot when they start nursery, but this is so much worse than I was expecting!

I had this the first winter that mine was in nursery. I thought that she was going to be poorly forever, it was relentless. But since May (touch wood!) we’ve had nothing. I am keeping all fingers and toes crossed it stays this way. I think everyone goes through that one really bad period.

How are you Mybobowler? I hope you've managed to get some rest.

Vitamin d3! 1000iu a day, or 25mcg dose. Very important and for yr baby if you.are not giving baby vits, most people will have insufficiency in winter if they are not taking a proper vit d supplement. Google!

Baby gets vitamin d through breastmilk and sunlight and formula but not usually through everyday foods, hence need for baby vits too.

@HettySunshine - I'm feeding her now (where would I be without MN during night feeds?!) but she's slept solidly since 7pm so I've had a decent sleep for the first time in days - I'm sure that'll help. Thank you so much for asking! I'm working from home for the rest of my week, so I have a blankets and sloppy clothes and a steady supply of biscuits.

How are you and your poorly babies? No shame for crying at work! I think it's very easy to keep insisting "I'm fine everything's fine I'm handling this" - good to let them know that things are tough! I hope they have been understanding.

@nettleskeins - I will get straight on the Vitamin D, thank you!