Guilt over spending money

[Helmlover1]

I’ve just watched the channel 4 programme about children growing up in poverty, and to be honest it’s made me question my own spending. We’ve just booked a holiday for next year and we’ve probably overspent on Christmas presents like most other people but now I’m feeling incredibly guilty. I felt like this a few days ago too after doing a spot of Christmas shopping and then seeing homeless people outside sleeping in shop doorways with absolutely nothing. I know obviously my spending is not directly linked to these issues but I just can’t seem to shake off the guilt. Does anyone else feel like this at times?

Maybe it's an age thing. We were poor when I was a kid. I was never homeless but we didn't have a lot. No car, no phone, no TV, outside toilet, no bathroom.

Luckily things have improved a lot for me since then, but I'll never forget what it feels like to be poor. I'm grateful for what I've got. Funny thing is, I can't overspend. It's bred into me not to. Nice Christmas dinner, nice presents for family (but not extravagant). Holidays tend to be in Europe, not long haul. But I don't feel guilty. I feel deeply grateful for what I've got.

Single I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. I also grew up in a relatively poor household and the holiday we’ve recently booked is a million miles away from what we could have afforded growing up, and believe it or not I even felt guilty telling my own mum about it, as she still struggles with money today. I don’t know, maybe it’s just a personal issue I have to learn to deal with somehow.

You deserve to enjoy your money, as harsh as it sounds to others you have earned it. Of course you’re going to feel the guilt especially about other family members, however if you’re not financially in the position to change their financial position for them then sadly there’s nothing you can do so might as well enjoy yourself. If it makes you feel any better, you could do a good deed, give to homeless/less fortunate or even take your mum out for a nice meal.

I recognise this feeling, we were not poor growing up but holidays were UK or euro camps, summer holidays involved playing every day in the local fields and parks etc.

I look at what I've bought my 5 year old, all of which has been collected throughout the year on offer and in sales, and I feel a bit sick about how much she has. It feels kind of grotesque that she has so many presents.

We are very fortunate, I have a good job and have worked up the levels with promotions every other year, we don't live excessively but we have more than lots of people.

I do a monthly shop for Action Homeless which is a local charity giving out food parcels and helping homeless people. At Xmas we buy toys for the local hospital and Toys on the Table which gives presents to children being supported by Social Services.

It doesn't feel enough but it's what we can afford.

I don’t feel guilty, because I have attempted to do something about it. I grew up in poverty and with very serious abuse. No help whatsoever from my family and I made it all alone. When I go on lovely holidays I think I did this despite my upbringing and balls to my family.

I have spent my entire adulthood apart from when dc were babies doing a lot of work for charity. Mainly Fundraising, committee work, applying for grants, negotiating with suppliers for discounts and research on poverty. I was even on tv once talking about a national charity I was the regional secretary of. Have done some boots on the ground stuff like making pudding for 100 people at a free lunch and collecting food and clothes. It all sounds a bit worthy but I was influenced as a really small child of about eight when I read about them giving their breakfast away on Christmas morning in Little Women by Louisa Alcott. A few years ago I visited her childhood home in America. It was an incredibly moving experience. Literature, my friends at church and two fantastic secondary school teachers were positive influences in my life and to all of them I’m very grateful.

I watched that programme. I'v been very lucky to grow up with money etc. I feel so sad that children here are often overlooked with shoebox appeals targeting children in other countries. I'll be donating to the 'mission Christmas' appeal where the donations will go to local families so they can open a present on Christmas Day.