Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How come some people stress binge and some people stress starve?

36 replies

deffonamechange · 08/12/2019 22:12

I'm having a bad time at moment with a lot of stress and all I do is comfort eat...can't stop eating crisps..cake..choc..stodge..lost all willpower.
So along with life being shit I've put 10lbs on!

My sister is having equally bad time and she cant eat, lost appetite, lost half a stone.

Obviously the big stress is more important than weight but in order to take my mind off the heavy stuff I would love to know what makes one person binge and another totally lose appetite.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 08/12/2019 22:17

I guess it's if you see food as comforting or not.

I don't, so I don't comfort eat, and I don't understand the whole getting comfort from food thing, I eat either becaus I'm hungry or because I want it, even if I'm not hungry, but not to comfort myself, more greed.

So In a stress situation I'd be like your sister, I loose my appetite.

maidenover · 08/12/2019 22:17

Both are examples of disordered eating. I binge too and wish I was the other way round because of the draw of being thin, although in my heart of hearts I know it wouldn’t be any healthier.

Cardy24 · 08/12/2019 22:21

If I'm stressed I find that I don't seem to have the time for food, like it's just too much hassle to even think about it.
However if I'm depressed then it's another matter and all I want to do is eat.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Weight management
megletthesecond · 08/12/2019 22:24

I always wonder this too.
I tend to feel sick when I'm stressed and it knocks my appetite on the head. Combine that with being rushing around and the weight falls off me.

TheHumansAreDefinitelyDead · 08/12/2019 22:24

It is physical for me, feeling stressed makes me feel like physically being choked, it is hard to swallow as throat feels tight, so eating is unpleasant. Tea is still my friend though, I can always swallow tea. Though if it is reallybad, even swallowing water feels like it gets stuck in my throat.

I don't recommend it for weightless though as actually no fun Wink

CatyaPurella · 08/12/2019 22:25

When I am stressed I get a huge knot in my tummy and I just don't get hungry. I can go days without eating because my head is so pre-occupied. I don't understand people who comfort eat. I get fat when I am happy & content.

GoodCheer · 08/12/2019 22:26

Interesting question.

Before I had children - from mid teens until late 20s - if I was stressed, I’d completely lose my appetite. I was very slim anyway so used to have to watch myself and force myself to have something or I’d quickly lose weight and look gaunt.

After I had my first child it was like a switch went off and I was the complete opposite. Any stress and I want to eat. Unsurprisingly, I’m no longer slim!

I think what triggered it was being settled and at home with small children and not being able to get that hit of happy hormones (dopamine?) that I got in other ways when I had a carefree life (lots of excitement, going out dancing, drinking on a school night, travel, shopping, flirting etc).

I’d love to flip that switch back again, I tell ya!

user1493413286 · 08/12/2019 22:27

Maybe it’s the different physical way we experience stress in that when I’m stressed my stomach churns and I don’t feel hungry whereas others might experience their stomachs feeling very empty and want to eat to feel better. And maybe how stress hormones like cortisol effect individual people? As I can eat the same as usual when stressed but still lose weight.

GoodCheer · 08/12/2019 22:28

Oh and I think the comfort eating these days is as a form of disordered eating, but the loss of appetite previously really didn’t feel like that. It was very physical.

YouretheChristmasCarcass · 08/12/2019 22:39

I used to stress eat. Now I stress starve. The changing point for me from binging to starving was a combination of being on a diet (I did need to lose weight) and simultaneously having a life-changing event. This resulted in bulimia/anorexia which thankfully was treated early. The only lasting effect is the stress-starving rather than stress-eating. I lose my appetite and eating when I'm stressed actually makes me physically ill.

Both are a problem, but I'll stick with the stress starving.

Thelnebriati · 08/12/2019 22:40

I stress starve because when I'm stressed my mouth gets too dry and I can't chew or swallow. Nothing looks appetizing. I have to drink nutrients in thin soup and yoghurts.

HarrietTheFly · 08/12/2019 22:41

I wonder about this. Have often wished I was a stress eater as I lose weight quite quickly when I don't eat. I know I'd not be any happier if I was the other way around.

I usually forget to eat if I'm stressed. It doesn't cross my mind. And when it is like I just feel full inside and I'm chewing on cardboard whatever I have.

HarrietTheFly · 08/12/2019 22:41

And when it does, it is like...*

NobJobWinker · 08/12/2019 22:43

If I'm stressed then I have a permanent 'knot in my stomach' which has the effect of both increasing my metabolism because I'm burning 'nervous energy' and I eat less because I'm distracted and food becomes less of a priority

If I'm happy and life is calm then I eat more and burn less energy!

I have no idea why the reverse is true for some people

Ginkypig · 08/12/2019 22:45

For me I think it's complicated by different factors.

I'm physically disabled so can't use physical ways (running or dancing or cleaning etc) to reduce the feelings

I have long term severe mental health problems which means my appetite has stopped working so I eat not because I am hungry or my body tells me it's time but because I tell myself it's meal time.

If I feel bad or something bad is happening Iv noticed crap food tastes good and in the time I'm eating it it is something to concentrate solely on which distracts from everything else but the moment I stop I feel crap and the thing that triggers it comes back like a wave.

I think for me and others like me it's probably similar emotionally and behaviourally to someone who uses alcohol to cope.

Collision · 08/12/2019 22:46

I’m under the worst stress of my life.
I have literally cried Every day for the last 17 days.

I cannot seem to eat. I certainly get no enjoyment from food. It’s the last thing I want to think about. Dh has made me eat a little.

I’ve lost 9 1/2lbs in a week and possibly more tomorrow.
I always thought I would comfort eat under stress but I’m clearly a stress starver.

TrainspottingWelsh · 08/12/2019 22:48

I really enjoy my food normally, but eat to live, rather than live to eat. I'm not a stressful person, but when I'm genuinely upset it's not so much comfort starving, more that I lose all interest in it & if I force myself food/ eating makes me feel physically ill, or actually be ill if I force myself to eat.

I'm a healthy weight but generally I think I could do with dropping a clothes size, just cba to make the effort. But when I'm upset enough to starve myself, I don't give a fuck and don't even notice whether I've lost anything.

I do have early memories of being upset and vomiting undigested meals back up as a toddler/ young child. So it could be a subconscious reaction because of those memories, or maybe it's just the way I am.

Ginfordinner · 08/12/2019 22:50

Collision Flowers

Thelnebriati · 08/12/2019 22:50

If you find yourself unable to eat, add a level teaspoon of skim milk powder and one of extra virgin olive oil to a mug of thin chicken soup, and see if you can drink it. If it goes on for a while get some liquid ABIDEC and Floradix.

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/12/2019 22:56

Sorry you’re having a rough time OP. It’s an interesting question. I’m a stress starver, like others I feel sick if I’m really sad or stressed, if I’m crying or been crying the last thing I was to do is eat.

When DH is medium stressed he eats extra carbs but mega stress makes him lose his appetite so I think for some people it depends a bit on what you’re dealing with.

I’ve been very stressed recently with DH ill in hospital and had to force myself to eat enough as I’m feeding a baby but it’s been shit and I’ve been off everything so forcing down high fat shortbread as it’s bland and calorific.

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/12/2019 22:56

Collision I’m so sorry FlowersFlowersFlowers

OldElPasoHadAChicken · 08/12/2019 23:13

Super disordered eating, here. And it goes both ways, but these days no one notices if I've not been eating because the drive to eat is usually stronger than the opposite.

What I've noticed seems to trigger my inability to eat is being under the kind of stress which causes me to release lots of adrenaline. I will also get quite bad IBS during these periods and dairy is a massive issue for me.

I like various foods and usually crave different kinds depending on the times the month or what the weather is like or whether I've had an upset emotionally. The thing I crave the most is generally baked goods and pasta and rice. I'm long-term disabled and have chronic fatigue, I think that's partly why I crave carbs.

I wish there was enough funding out there for everything which needs it, including helping people with disordered eating. I've had friends who have wasted away in front of me, there's my own yo-yo story, and my partner just gets larger and larger and I'm scared of what's going to happen to him because he's super morbidly obese.

Witchend · 08/12/2019 23:17

I can do either.
if I'm a little bit stressed, then I comfort eat, especially unhealthy things.
if I'm very stressed then I can't eat anything.

Neither is a choice, but the comfort eating is easier for me in a lot of ways to stop. That's not saying it's easier for others, but I can recognise it, and take measures to stop doing it if I want to.
If I stop eating then the longer it goes, the less I feel like eating and the harder it is to break it.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 08/12/2019 23:22

Eating can stop me thinking about what don’t want to think about im always worrying about money it helps me stop obsessing about money as I then obsess about food then about eating too much

But when I was heartbroken (dumped) the stress from that I couldn’t eat I think I wanted to feel the pain to sort of embrace it

poltergust · 08/12/2019 23:28

I do both weirdly. Extreme stress (PND for example) I stop eating completely. Only happened 3 times in my life for the worst things I've been through.

Week to week, stress like work / minor family stuff / getting in my head and I eat like mad to 'treat' myself as a distraction.

I think it's a control thing but I'm not sure. A way to control things when I feel I've lost control of others. Always think it's a shame it doesn't work the other way though.