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Original poster

Getting more male attention after dying hair?

70 replies

Accidentalblonde · 08/12/2019 20:49

This is going to sound like a stealth boast, but I swear it's not. You know the stereotype of blondes being more desirable and getting more attention?

I have had brown hair all my life. Sometimes it has been chestnut, sometimes it has been almost black, but it has never been lighter than a solid medium brown.

For a number of reasons (ok, slightly tipsy home box dye disaster resulting in expensive salvage trip to hairdresser) I am now a caramel blonde with lighter blonde bits. So not even blonde blonde. I'm quite pleased with how well it suits me, as I never thought a lighter colour would, but it does. I'm a stocky size 12, reasonably alright looking but nothing special, wear minimal makeup, am in early thirties, happily married with kids, dress sense is appalling so I stick to fairly plainish dresses with tights and boots. Always had a boyfriend or two before DH, usually they started off as friends, nobody has ever tried to chat me up in a bar or bus queue, lots of prettier friends, you get the idea. Minimal attention from men, which I've always been happy with, because I reckoned that although it must be nice to be the really gorgeous girl getting all the attention at the club, it wouldn't be so nice when white van men are yelling horrible things at you the next morning.

Well long story short, but fuck me. Never in my life have I had so much attention from men as I have in the last two months. It's all been fairly positive, don't get me wrong, and it's not anything crazy, but it's noticeable due to its previous absence. Even my mum noticed when we were out together the other day. It's as though men are "seeing" me, if that makes sense

The only thing that has changed is my hair, and this has only happened since I went blonde. I actually think I look better with a rich chestnut brown, but the blonde must catch the eye more, and men really must be socialised to find it more appealing?

Like I said, not a stealth boast because I'm under no illusions about myself, it's just that as a sort of accidental social experiment, I'm so shocked at how differently I've been treated

OP posts:
AnuvvaMuvva · 08/12/2019 20:56

I'm going blonde after reading that!

Isaididont · 08/12/2019 20:59

That’s hilarious and a bit mad, that hair colour would have that effect!

Paddy1234 · 08/12/2019 20:59

Woohoo - nothing wrong with that as well! Will do wonders for your confidence as well ❤️

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Beauty
FergusSingsTheBlues · 08/12/2019 21:12

I've often wondered this.
My hair is dark brown which I love.. But, trust me everybody where I live, has blonde flippy hair and it just looks glam to me...

Ive often wondered if I'd suit. Blonde hair but..... At 46, I might as well hang on until. I'm grey Grin

Puppylucky · 08/12/2019 21:20

Yup happened to me when I first went blonde years and years ago! To the extent that I got chatted up by a guy that I had been ignored by the previous week when I was still a brunette - something I pointed out to him!

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 08/12/2019 21:23

I believe you op, I get more attention when blonde, especially if I’ve got red lipstick on.

Fraggling · 08/12/2019 21:23

It's a double edged sword.

I've got naturally light blonde hair and had way more attention often scary or unpleasant from men from a fairly young age, 12 or 13.

Men do harass women and girls of all types but blonde hair does seem to be a bit of a magnet.

Having said that, I'm pleased that you're having fun with it!

CloudyVanilla · 08/12/2019 21:28

Owhhh I've been debating going blonde but then did the opposite and went darker!

I think a trip to the salon for a lighter colour will now be my post birth treat ;)

Anotheruser02 · 08/12/2019 21:30

I had more attention when I was blond.

Ilovetolurk · 08/12/2019 21:31

How old are you OP? I’m 49 and after going blonder over the course of a year or so I now get men staring at me as I walk past them, having previously been invisible for years. It’s bizarre

Ilovetolurk · 08/12/2019 21:33

Sorry just seen you’re in your early thirties. My excuse is it hides the grey better

DontGoIntoTheLongGrass · 08/12/2019 21:34

I got the same being blonde. As soon as I dyed it a chocolate brown I became invisible. It was weird 🤔 I'm blonde now again this week so we'll see how it goes.

I also notice if I wear a bit of mascara to the local tip the workers there come help me unload the car. "It's alright, luv, don't you worry, we'll help!" 😂 Is it bad of I just go along with it and let them??

SexlessBoulderBelly · 08/12/2019 21:39

I agree. I was silver/grey/white blonde for years from about 16/17. I changed back to brown about 18 months ago and I seem to have disappeared from existence.
I had a lot of attention when out when I was blonde. Not so much now I’m brown, although it’s a welcome change as 5 years with DP and having to politely decline male advantages when I was out always made my nights feel awkward.

Plus I’m pregnant now, so I don’t even go out anymore and I’m a whale so problem solved.

HarrietTheFly · 08/12/2019 21:39

Yes blonde hair does seem like a magnet to some men. Not always pleasant ones but it sounds like you've not had any bad experiences which is good!

Saying that, I once worked with a young women with a mane of brown hair. Facially she was quite normal looking but her hair was amazing. She got lots of attention and stares, even from me. Her hair was like something from a shampoo advert. It was very bouncy and glossy and I'm worth it.

Gwenhwyfar · 08/12/2019 21:42

Blondes have more fun / gentlemen prefer blondes. Not sure everyone could cope with that kind of attention though. I think there are also personality assumptions to artificial blonde hair.
I've thought about going blonde myself, but hesitated because of the above and also my eyebrow colour giving the game away.

"I also notice if I wear a bit of mascara to the local tip the workers there come help me unload the car."

I'm surprised by this. When I wear mascara, I think it's only me who can see the difference. How can it make such a big difference if you're in your car and they're a few metres away?

rosegoldfever · 08/12/2019 21:44

I feel the same after growing my hair and getting lip fillers, the fillers look natural and not like trout pout look, but they are a lot filler then my natural lips. But since Iv grown my hair to below my shoulders and have fuller lips 👄 I get more attention from men

fizzybootlace · 08/12/2019 21:50

Yes, same here. I've been going lighter since 40 as easier to cover the greys but temporarily went darker for a change/wedding. I assumed being let on the train first to get a seat, doors being held for me and served first in a bar or coffee shop when the queue isn't clear was old fashioned chivalry but that all stopped when I went dark!

Not saying these things should be expected at all but as soon as I went back to dark blonde all these things started happening again, and I'm actually noticed in shops and no dodging around people on the pavement, men and women. The difference is ridiculous and quite sad really.

Original poster
Accidentalblonde · 08/12/2019 21:52

It's not even THAT blonde. It's definitely lighter/blonde and a huge difference from my usual brown, but it's not Dany from Game of Thrones or anything!

I can absolutely see how it could be a double edged sword. So far though I've managed to avoid anyone overtly pervy, as I said it's more a general sense of being "seen" by men whereas I previously would have been invisible. I don't even think the men themselves are conscious of it, well probably some of them are, but I don't think the vast majority are thinking "oh lovely hair, nice highlights there, let me open that door for you/have a slightly flirty five minute chat as we wait in the queue at the shop" it just seems to happen? It's honestly the oddest thing. I thought I was well past the peak, as it were, for male attention - not that I ever really had one- so it's baffling! Not unpleasant exactly, but just unexpected

OP posts:
doadeer · 08/12/2019 21:53

I've been brown, black, blonde and red head. I got most attention being auburn (Nicole kidman type colour) closely followed by blonde.

Blonde more so when we went abroad. Had a very unpleasant time in Turkey.

Your hair sounds lovely! I hope you like the
Colour.

missmouse101 · 08/12/2019 21:56

Dyeing! Not dying! (Very different meanings...)

chickenandwhat · 08/12/2019 22:19

I think it's related to hair length too. Do you have long hair @Accidentalblonde ? I'm naturally blonde, so it's quite dark compared to a dyed blonde. Can't say I've had much success when my hairs been shorter. Add in some bright highlights even if the very yellow natural on longer hair and bingo. I haven't had my hair highlighted in years, and do miss that boost it gives, but it's the upkeep. I get root obsession.

firesong · 08/12/2019 22:34

Perhaps the blonde hair suits your colouring better than the darker colours? Also, once you started getting more male attention, you started feeling more attractive and confident which draws in more attention!

Having said that, my natural hair is mousy blonde/brown. I've tried lots of colours from black to reds and browns, and definitely get most attention with blonde hair.

Cluckyandconfused · 08/12/2019 22:46

This has been my experience too OP but I was in my early twenties when I went from mousy brown to blonde, so it was nothing to do with covering greys. I immediately had more attention from the opposite sex AND other women were nicer to me too.

EmmiJay · 08/12/2019 22:48

I get the same reaction in summer when I put in my honey blonde weave. ☻ Magical stuff.

PinkCrayon · 08/12/2019 22:54

I have to agree with you op I have long blonde hair I once went brunette and I didn't get as much attention.