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Original poster

Christmas and shift workers

33 replies

Purplequalitystreet · 08/12/2019 20:15

My DP is a paramedic and is working 8-8 on Christmas Day. Our DS will be 12 weeks old. For this year I am taking DS to my DM (150 miles away) and coming back on boxing day, when PIL host Christmas 2 for their side of the family. Luckily DP has boxing day off so won't miss that.

Obviously DS has no clue what is going on this year, but I've been wondering how to deal with Christmas in the future. I want DS to have Christmas in his own home and don't want DP to miss seeing him every year. How do shift workers with children do Christmas?

OP posts:
IDontDrinkTea · 08/12/2019 20:18

My family just wait until whenever I’m off. They do something special when I’m at work (eg, pizza, ice cream and a film, game of golf, nice walk, that kind of thing). When dd is old enough we’ll include in her Santa letters a reminder that he needs to visit us a day later, and then we’ll literally just do the whole thing on Boxing Day

PurpleDaisies · 08/12/2019 20:20

He won’t be on every yearz

PurpleDaisies · 08/12/2019 20:23

Sorry, pressed post by accident! He won’t be on every year. Make the most of the years that he’s not on. When he is on, do early or late presents on the day. Maybe a full Christmas meal on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day dependant on how the shifts fall.

As someone who grew up in a house with shift workers and worked Christmas myself, it honestly isn’t as bad as you think.

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Original poster
Purplequalitystreet · 08/12/2019 20:24

He's had to work 4 out of the last 5 Christmases, so I'm assuming it will be most years

OP posts:
FaithInfinity · 08/12/2019 20:24

We just work round it. I’ve worked something most years (12 years of nursing!). Worst was Christmas Day late so I had dinner then went to work, I had indigestion! Never again! Until he’s much older your DS won’t know the day anyway, it’s just Christmas when you say it is so do it on your DH’s day off!

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 08/12/2019 20:26

In a family that consists of 2 nurses 3 military personal and 2 policemen we have done a variety of things to accommodate shift patterns. We have had dinner later 6/7pm or earlier 11am one year! Had it on a more mutual better day for everyone eg 22/23/24/26 we have had buffet style food so everyone can graze and eat before and after shift. We have done Christmas presents and opening via video link. As much as we can try to fit everyone in.

I know dinner later etc won’t be feasible with a little one but until they can remember a bit more it might be best way round it? 8-8 is a rubbish shift. Could maybe open presents day after.

Thank you to your DH x

Hayls17 · 08/12/2019 20:27

I’m the same with my DP so following with interest - he is a chef so has to work every Christmas Day. DD is 2.5y and he will be off this Xmas on paternity as DD2 is arriving by c-section the week before, but it is likely the first and last Christmas Day he will spend with the girls in his line of work which makes me sad.

Pipandmum · 08/12/2019 20:30

My dad was a doctor in an inner city hospital (so lots of trauma) and we knew he may be at home or on call and have to go at a moments notice or be at the hospital on duty. My sister has taken the Christmas Eve and day shift this year (she has to sleep over) at the psychiatric hospital she works at as she has feels it's her turn (we only see her every other year as we live abroad). It's not every year but it comes with the job.

Your baby will grow up knowing his dad is out helping people when needed and that sometimes includes Christmas day (or his birthday or his sports day).

TheFairyCaravan · 08/12/2019 20:31

My dad was a fireman and worked a lot of Christmases. We'd have Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve in the evening so if he was on nights he'd then leave or if he was on days on Christmas Day he'd still have had a dinner. We'd either open our presents before he left for work, or when he came home.

We used to spend Christmas morning at home then either we'd go to a relative in the afternoon or they'd come to us, on a rota, and he'd meet us there after work if need be. You honestly get used to it. I never felt like we missed out at all, it was just how we did it.

DS2 is a nurse. He's working this Christmas Eve (his birthday) and Day, so we're having Christmas with him on 22nd/23rd. DS1 won't be home until late the 23rd because of his army duties so we're still having Christmas on Christmas Day. DH is RAF so we've had Christmases where he's been away, too. You just adapt and crack on.

Cornishmendoitdrekkly · 08/12/2019 20:32

We have had presents and a special meal on the 5th December, Christmas Eve and Boxing Day because DH was away with the Navy and then on shift in hospital on Christmas Day. Our children just grew up knowing it was a moveable feast and that if we wanted Daddy to be part of everything we had to be flexible. Our DS is now in the Army and this will be our first without him, so our special day will be the 27th.
Whatever you decide to do, remember to make your own fun traditions and they can take place on any date Xmas Smile

Moonflower12 · 08/12/2019 20:33

My DP is also a paramedic. He normally works one off- one on. Perhaps it depends on which Service ( Trust) they work for?
We just move 'Christmas' to the day he's off and go to friends etc. On the actual day.

Lunafortheloveogod · 08/12/2019 20:36

Could he do night shifts over Christmas in future? If he’s not going to get them off he could come home, coffee himself up till the presents are open and sleep until dinners out and back to nap if he’s back on. I was always nights and that’s how I worked it with family members.
A lot of the child free people done years of Christmas Day shift though instead of New Years as that’s what they’d prefer.. maybe he’ll ask for the opposite when he’s old enough?

Harp1977 · 08/12/2019 20:37

My Dad was a paramedic when we were growing up.
Day shift we used to open presents extra early and then he went to work.
A night shift we waited until he got home. We would drop over Christmas Dinner to their base when it was cooked.
DP is military and his shifts at Christmas are 24 hrs so we carry on without him.
We always did and now always have a special family day over the holiday so it is still fun. Don't get caught up on the one day, it is a season.

PurpleDaisies · 08/12/2019 20:39

A lot of the child free people done years of Christmas Day shift though instead of New Years as that’s what they’d prefer.

A lot of child free people are put under pressure to work Christmas Day by parents, which is totally wrong. People volunteering is fine, but the rota needs to be done fairly without prioritising people’s personal lives outside work.

doritosdip · 08/12/2019 20:40

I would celebrate on the 24th or 26th instead (depending if he was old enough to know what the date is)

When my kids were younger and their Dad was away on business for their birthday, we'd act like the Saturday after/before was their birthday.

trixiebelden77 · 08/12/2019 20:40

We usually get to request Christmas or New Year - I’ve worked both quite a few years bc of lack of staff.

I prefer nights at Christmas - can then get up for some time with everyone during the day.

Thestaffarealwayswrong · 08/12/2019 20:42

The only person who comes to our 'family' Christmas that doesn't work Christmas day is my DB, though he works in retail, so that's his only guaranteed day off. We're split between NHS, care and hospitality and it takes some serious planning but we manage to find a day between Christmas and New year when we're all off at least part of the day, and where it's been last night's for the night workers so they get up early etc, and then we have 'Christmas Day' - recorded anything we wanted to watch on Christmas Day, and have our day then.

On the actual day when my DD was small she would be with family and they did 'mini-christmas' and we told her that Santa knew mummy/grandma/aunty had to work to help other people who needed them and so he would bring some presents Christmas day, but that Santa made special trips to the children of people who had to work on Christmas day. So she got a few to open on Christmas day itself (mostly stocking fillers) and then the main presents on 'our' Christmas day. She grew up with this and never questioned it, I grew up with it too and never questioned it, I thought Santa and his extra deliveries were just part of the deal.

KitKat1985 · 08/12/2019 20:44

Nurse here. I've done alternative Christmas days before (e.g, had Christmas dinner / presents on Boxing day if I've worked Christmas day, which can work if children are too young to realise when the actual Christmas day is. Some colleagues with kids prefer to do nights over Christmas so they work, try to get a short 3-4 hour sleep in, and then try to be up in time to do Christmas lunch / presents, or be awake all day with the kids and then power through a night shift Christmas night fuelled by multiple cups of coffee.

MadameButterface · 08/12/2019 20:48

My dad was a firefighter when i was little and then my ex worked shifts when our dc were little, we always just have worked round it somehow santa always came christmas eve, presents happened either before the day shift or after the night shift, meal logistics we played it by ear. Would always make time to get round everyone over the festive period. It’s quite good in a way as it means you can be non committal and not get locked into a pattern like so many do on here of rigidly taking ‘turns’ each christmas at the behest of extended family and never getting to do what works for your own family unit.

It also takes the pressure off - i have never felt mad stress to do The Perfect Christmas Day with all the same things every year, because such a thing never existed when i was small, or when my dc were small. You take it as it comes and enjoy the day however it pans out.

Devaki · 08/12/2019 20:50

Unfortunately it comes with job. I'm working 7am - 8pm on Christmas Day. The dcs will be at home with DH for the day opening presents and he makes them a lovely beef stew and dumplings- their favourite. We have our Christmas Dinner on Boxing Day. I usually work every 3rd Christmas Day.

Stompythedinosaur · 08/12/2019 21:03

I'm a nurse and have worked many Christmases. When our dc were little we just moved christmas to another day (dp often took the dc to his mam's for the day so he wasn't alone).

Now the dc are older and know which day is Christmas, the day goes on as normal and sometimes I am there and sometimes I am not. We do something special on Christmas eve if I won't be there for Christmas day.

Stupiddriver1 · 08/12/2019 21:06

When dd was little we used to say Father Christmas comes early for the children of shift workers. So we’d just bring everything forward a day or 2.

snowybaubles · 08/12/2019 21:08

We never went anywhere. From the minute our first DC was born Christmas became our family at home

happypotamus · 08/12/2019 21:09

I am a nurse and work Christmas every other year. We don't have to work the 13hr long day at Christmas, we can do 7.30-3.30 early or 12.30-8.30 late instead and the early shift usually finishes early and the late shift starts later. When DC1 was too young to know any different I would work the early shift, DH would pick me up and we would go to his family for dinner and DC would open presents with me. Then we had DC2 and DC1 was old enough to realise that other children didn't have to wait until the middle of the afternoon to open any presents, so I volunteered for the late shift, which no one wanted to do, so I was at home to see DC open presents in the morning and DH dropped me at work on the way to his parents. This year I discovered that Boxing Day counts as a Christmas shift (I don't think that was always the case), so am working all day Boxing Day instead because my in-laws are going away and it didn't seem reasonable for DH to be at home with DC on Christmas Day on his own. Otherwise I would have worked a night shift either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day and been even more exhausted than usual over Christmas. I am lucky that my work does everything possible to meet requests for Christmas shifts.

Original poster
Purplequalitystreet · 08/12/2019 21:12

Thanks everyone . I like the idea of moving Christmas when DS is little. Means I can still travel to see my family at some point. It's going to be impossible to keep everyone happy but DP and DS are my priority

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