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Original poster

Unpaid parental leave for 16 / 17yr old

119 replies

Ticklovetock · 08/12/2019 15:27

I’ve recently been reminded about the 4 weeks per year unpaid parental leave entitlement for children up to 18.
I can afford to have the full 4 weeks per year (I’ve never taken it in the past) so DH thinks it would be a good thing for me to take it while is still can (DD is 17 in April).

I know I’d be entitled to take it but my manager will no doubt question why I want to take it and it won’t go down well at all.

I’d spread the 4 weeks throughout the year and apply well in time of the leave.

Would it be ridiculous to take it for a 17yr old? I know it’ll be seen as me just wanting extra time off so I want to be ready with my answers.

OP posts:
dottiedodah · 08/12/2019 15:55

It seems like a good idea,but may not go down too well with the boss ,as you have already stated! What does your teenager think about it ? Would she be on board with a week off every so often with Mum do you think? Maybe run it by her as well .Could you sound out your Manager in advance ,you dont want to run the risk of being on the wrong side of him/her!

Blankiefan · 08/12/2019 15:57

Also it's up to 4 weeks per year (18 weeks max across all the years) PER CHILD. So if you had three kids, you'd get 54 weeks until the youngest was 18 and could take up to 12 weeks per year.

leghairdontcare · 08/12/2019 15:58

Just because you can doesn't mean you should

It's a statutory employment right in the same way as annual leave or maternity leave. Do you ever say to your employer that although they should pay your salary they don't need to bother this month as you don't want to take the piss?

@PaulGalico sorry to hear that your child has been ill but that doesn't make the OP less entitled to her employment rights than you are.

Interested in this thread?

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Employment advice Families
CBGBs · 08/12/2019 15:58

I take a couple of weeks of Unpaid parental leave each year, I put £50 aside each month and that kind of funds the pay packets where I lose the pay. In my workplace it gets granted by HR after you fill in a form and enclose your child’s birth cert. they don’t ask for a reason.

I work for a large company and have got quite a few parents into doing it, it is set in law that you can take it to spend time with your child. I can imagine it causes issues in smaller companies though.

Blankiefan · 08/12/2019 15:59

Oh - it's true that you will absolutely be "mum-tracked" tho so if your career is important, you have to bear that in mind.

For the record both me and DH take it. His taking it raised more eyebrows than it should have...

Gogreen · 08/12/2019 16:01

Question...is it 18 weeks for 18 years per child? So 26 weeks over 18 years for 2 children?

Can men take this leave too?

I had no idea this was a thing!

rookiemere · 08/12/2019 16:03

There is a difference between unpaid dependants emergency leave and unpaid parental leave. Many parents use parental leave to extend mat leave and nobody ever criticises them for that. Yet your DC needs you all through their childhood not just when they are a baby. One year DS had 9.5 weeks of summer school holidays when he was too young to leave alone - we would have been sunk without parental leave. As for pisstaking well if you compare my sick leave ( fully paid) with many others in our department then I could hardly be accused of taking liberties.

I think it's a lovely idea that OP wants to spend some time with her teen before she flies the nest.

leghairdontcare · 08/12/2019 16:04

Can men take this leave too?

Yes as long as they are named on the birth certificate/have parental responsibility for a child under 18.

Blankiefan · 08/12/2019 16:05

Yes - both parents can take it. This really can help with covering school holidays - assuming you can afford to both lose pay for the amount of time you're taking. PP's suggestion of saving to cover it is sensible. You really feel it in your pay packet that month!

Wildorchidz · 08/12/2019 16:06

Also my 17 year old really wouldn't appreciate us spending lots of extra time together.

That’s a shame. Luckily there are teenagers who enjoy the company of their parents.

CBGBs · 08/12/2019 16:07

Yes of course men can take the parental leave.

It is 18 weeks total per child. I took my first parental leave when my eldest was 10 so HR recommended to ‘use up’ his quota first as he was older, then I’ll still have my DD’s quota to use.

notapizzaeater · 08/12/2019 16:11

,my 17 yr old would love the time spent together - good for you OP, make the most of it !

Comefromaway · 08/12/2019 16:12

I haven’t taken it as I managed to use holiday but I had to have quite a few days off with dd for college open days/auditions and I think it’s gong to be even more with Ds for university auditions/open days etc.

StCharlotte · 08/12/2019 16:16

Definitely do it if you're entitled.

But I don't have children, when I get to do my pisstaking?

JOKE.

Redandblue11 · 08/12/2019 16:17

We are doing that next year before DS goes into secondary.
You are entitled and you do not have to give a reason. DH has asked HR and they never had such request before but they said he is perfectly entitled
This is not for illness or caring for a dependent, this is to do with some of the “new” parental leave rights from the EU I believe.
In a big company if you give them enough notice I cannot think what major issue that would be. DH is only planning to take 2 weeks unpaid next year.
Our rationale is to spend a summer with DH before secondary, all his school years he spent great proportion in child care (like many do) I know we are very fortunate to be able to afford it, so we have decided to spend the 6 weeks of summer with our son.
Great you are doing it and also glad to hear other people are also doing it!

TreeSwayer · 08/12/2019 16:17

I have been a SAHM since Ds1 was almost 2, so technically I have never had to have unpaid leave.

But, I helped him with his revision for his GCSEs and when he finally finished them he had 10 weeks off until he started sixth form. We spent a lot of time together, watched a film a day, (prepared a massive list in advance) we went out for lunch, went for walks together, cooked together. listened to music and had lovely chats. Once his brother was also off (13) again we watched films together, TV series stuff.

It is sad that people don't have children who want to spend time with them, also take the unpaid leave. It is a lovely thing to be able to spend more time with your child without the pressures of work for that week

Dh often takes off the same day as the children's inset days so we can go somewhere mid-week, he also takes 2 weeks off over Christmas. All unpaid as he is self employed. You are entitled to the leave so take it.

Janleverton · 08/12/2019 16:18

I did it two years ago - full 4 weeks in one summer. Think used dd’s birth cert - she was 14 at the time. (Youngest was 8).

Plan to do it again the summer after next (2021). Youngest’s last holidays before secondary, dds last before university and middle child will have just finished GCSEs. Will take full 4 weeks plus annual leave. And might next year take 2 weeks annual leave and 2 weeks unpaid leave to cover the summer hols more easily.

I think I was the first one ever to take it at work - HR looked at me like I’d grown a second head, until I directed them to the government website. Because it’s unpaid and not terribly well advertised I think take up is very low. And I don’t take the mickey, make sure caseload is clear towards the time off, and I put in the request just after Christmas so plenty of time to organise myself and caseload.

megletthesecond · 08/12/2019 16:24

I'd do it and take the time off around exam season.

I've always used unpaid parental leave to allow me to the and cover school holidays. I intend to carry on when my dc's are teens and need support around exam time.

Original poster
Ticklovetock · 08/12/2019 16:25

Thanks all! Sorry some of you feel that I shouldn’t be taking it as it affects my colleagues but I’ve spent the last year ‘covering’ for a colleague who spends part of almost every week ‘working from home’ which means they can only do half the job. This has been granted to them as they have a long commute and get very tired easily.
Quite honestly I’m sick of picking up the slack and my mental health is starting to suffer.
So no, I don’t feel guilty, I can afford it and it means I can spend the half terms and some of the holidays doing fun stuff with DD and keep my actual annual leave for days for myself. Win win.

OP posts:
PineappleDanish · 08/12/2019 16:27

The time is meant for you to look after a child with long term illness /recovery from surgery / no other childcare options in summer holidays etc

Totally untrue. You can take it for whatever reason you like. If you can afford to take it OP and your work are happy to let you have it, go for it.

megletthesecond · 08/12/2019 16:31

From the gov.uk website.

"Eligible employees can take unpaid parental leave to look after their child’s welfare, eg to:

-spend more time with their children
-look at new schools
-settle children into new childcare arrangements
-spend more time with family, such as visiting grandparents"

Schoolchoicesucks · 08/12/2019 16:34

Not sure why posters are commenting who have no idea about it.

It's different to emergency dependants leave.

It can be used to nurse children through illness and recovery, but equally it can be used to help with new school selection and settling, travel to visit overseas relatives, preparing for exams, childcare over the holidays etc etc.

It's unpaid so don't understand why pps are suggesting op is taking the piss. Her workplace can organise paid cover.

BlouseAndSkirt · 08/12/2019 16:34

Has DH ever taken it?

OublietteBravo · 08/12/2019 16:38

I’ve previously taken unpaid parental leave - my manager disapproves but cannot actually block it. I’ve used it to cover being at home when DD had surgery and needed to recover from the general anaesthetic before going back to school. As I tend to use up quite a bit of annual leave taking DD to hospital appointments, I’ve also used the unpaid parental leave for family holidays (because it has to be taken in blocks of 1 week).

I’m seriously considering taking 4 weeks next year to be around for DD during her GCSEs. Probably the week before they start, the 2 weeks of the exams and the week after the exams to do something nice with her.

Original poster
Ticklovetock · 08/12/2019 16:38

No, DH has never taken it - I took one week when my now 19 year old was 2 when we had a holiday. I’ve never taken anything from DD’s allowance.

For some reason I thought it stopped when the children got to 5 years old. Someone on here mentioned it recently and when I read about it again I realised I could still take it.

I’m a bit gutted I’d forgotten about it to be honest!

OP posts: