What do you do to look after yourself?

[Selfcareneeded]

I have neglected myself for years. A combination of factors that include putting everyone else's needs before my own and MH issues.

I'm slowly coming out of the other side. I went to the dentist for the first time in years and after neglecting my teeth for months and months, I need quite a bit of working doing that'll begin in the new year. I've invested in an electric toothbrush, floss and prescription toothpaste as a starting point but how do I go about taking care of myself? My teeth aren't the only thing that have been neglected.

I want to start taking proper care of myself and my health but where do I begin? I'm working on the teeth, will also try and combat my diet but what else? Drink water? Check.

Do you have a routine, certain products you recommend for taking care of hair, skin, etc.

All advice most welcome. I start a FT job in January after being a SAHP so I'm ready for a new start.

I do all of that.

I read books that keep my head in the game. Currently reading ''Aristotle's Way''. I always need to remind myself that I'm connected to a bigger universe than just home, work, bed, sleep, eat, kids, rinse, repeat..... for me, that is looking after myself!

I'm not trying to dismiss skin care etc.. I do some of that.

I haven't read a book for years. Used to love it and miss it dreadfully. Just trying to find the time to start again. Suppose that's partly due to me prioritising everything and everybody else.

If I’m tired I take a nap, I appreciate youngest is a sixth former and I’m retired so it’s not an option for people that work long hours or have little dc. I have also stopped putting myself out for others. For instance DH cousin married a couple of years ago and he really isn’t our favourite person so we just didn’t go. I don’t feel that obligation anymore. I’m only just past 50 but had some health issues so stopped working. Having stared The Grim Reaper in the face you do realise just how trivial many things are.

I have a tennis ball and rub my feet on it when watching tv as I get rather sore arches sometimes. Apparently this is quite common in women mid forties onwards. I also stretch out a lot, I have done some yoga in the past, easy to find a YouTube video if you don’t have time or inclination for a proper class. I tried some classes and they were full of lots of women early retired , yummy mummy’s and ladies that lunch as in the daytime.They wanted me in their book club as soon as they found out I’m a retired librarian. They only invited a few people and they reminded me so much of the mean girls at school with their little clique. I turned them down on behalf of the 14 year old bookworm nerd me of many years past.

If I have a day to myself then I don't do the housework, I read or watch tv and relax - and then feel incredibly guilty.

Get yourself into the habit of regular haircuts. Always book the next appointment before leaving the salon. I also do the same with getting my eyebrows and excess facial hair threaded. It all helps keep your appearance at a minimum acceptable standard, which helps with self esteem and generally goes quite a way to having more self confidence. Well it does for me at any rate.

Op

You sound like me. Going to bed early is a great start. I'm not good at this but put the TV on a timer. Rarely watch more than 5 minutes.

I have managed to pull myself out of bit of a self care rut.

My routine at the moment is:

Wake up and drink a big glass of water
Shower
Body moisturiser (kept in bathroom next to shower so it’s In easy reach)
Get dressed
Face moisturiser

Breakfast - whatever I have I am trying to make sure I have fruit with it.
Teeth clean (electric toothbrush and floss)

Before bed I have a herbal tea, moisturise face again (after taking off make up if I’ve decided to wear it), hands and feet.

I carry a water bottle with me and am trying really hard to drink as much as I can during the day.

I also try and get some exercise in every day. Whether gym or just a walk round outside. Getting outside every day helps me too.

I’m building up to reading a book but I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old so finding quiet time is a bit difficult at present.

Reading is a wonderful escape from the world. If you don’t have much time to read may I suggest some poetry? I love all sorts, the very funny Spike Milligan silly verse for kids which I was given as a gift by my friend when I was 9, metaphysical poetry in olde English, the heart wrenching poetry of WWI, and the occasional soppy sonnet.

Here is a poem that to this day I hear in the really beautiful deep voice of my A level English teacher.

WB Yeats
Wishes for the cloths of heaven.

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams

Healthy diet
Exercise outdoors (running, cycling, hiking,....). Indoors exercise does nothing for me.

Shellac pedi about every 2 months and a really good haircut - then everything else falls into place for me ( maybe it’s an illusion OP but it works for me!) congrats on new beginnings 👍

How old are you?

I've always found getting enough sleep, even if it's made up of naps and having days off, is what I need.

Do what you enjoy, as often as you can.

I'm very busy, but my joy is doing a Christmas day out, in two different places. It could be a stately home, a theatre version of a Christmas Carol, or Christmas markets/looking at the lights.

I'd also stopped reading and I've restarted by re-reading Terry Pratchett. They're my go to fun books.

I recently befriended a refugee type family and help out with babysitting and help with the navigations of our system. That's brought me joy and gave me lots of blessings to count.

I'm just surfacing from a year of not enough self care. My priorities are going to be eating better and getting outdoors for a walk every day. I'm trying to be connected to my body and not live too much in my stressy head, so I'm hoping both these things will help with that.

Oh yes and diet is everything.

Even if you don't need to lose weight use a nutrition app and see if any supplements are needed.

If you want to get back to reading, try some short stories books. I love books but don’t seem to read as much as I like.
I love going to the library and looking for a book. The whole experience takes me back to childhood and I find it soothing. I do find books and read them after renewing them online about 3 times.
YouTube is good for audiobooks to Listen to while getting on with chores.
I have a lovely mug that I have my coffee in. It just makes it a bit more of a ritual and I reminder that I’m worth having my own lovely mug.
I go for regular walks. The exercise and being out in the fresh air in nature does me a world of good.
I also use a nice soap in the shower and use oil on my hair and a conditioner.

Some great tips so far!

To answer a question, I'm 23.

Starting a FT job in January, 8-5 Mon- Fri, 18 month old DS will go to Nursery. I'm looking forward to going back to work but very aware I'll have even less time than I have now and my main priority for my time outside of working hours will be trying to spend quality time with DS. Trying to be super organised ready for the New Year as I'm aware of my deep levels of self neglect and worry it'll get even worse as I'll have even less time to spare.

worry it’ll get worse as I’ll have even less time to spare

You will have less time. But make the effort.

I’m finding that if I actually make an effort to do things put my phone down and get off social media I can achieve a lot more. Ironic that I’m posting this on muni phone though.

A tip for going back to work is to use your lunch break wisely (assuming you’ll get one).

My office is in the middle of our town centre so it’s in easy reach for me of the gym. My plan is to go to a yoga class on lunchtime, do relevant “life admin” another, and get outside and walk for the other two (I won’t be working Fridays). If no life admin I’ll maybe read a book.

Ds and Dd will be in nursery so we’ll have a bit of an evening with them once we finish work. I finish at 5. Dh at 530. I’ll be able to fit in a gym session two nights a week (finish at 5 gym until 545 meet them at the car home by 6 or just after). Then the fun of playtime, bathtime, pyjama time bottle time/milk time and bedtime. Dh and I have had to get used to eating a bit later (usually around 8pm)

Try to eat well and regularly, this will be especially important when you are working full time and caring for your child. You will need to keep your energy levels high and on an even keel.

Meal plan, make shopping lists and stick to them. Build up a store cupboard of meals that you can have on the nights when you are too tired/running late to cook.

A bag of crisps isn't dinner, but with a good store cupboard, instead you could have tuna & cous-cous or sardines & pasta.

Learn which jobs need to be given priority, and which can be delayed, so that you never feel overwhelmed or unable to cope. Lists and routines and forward planning will help you a lot here.

You are very young, it sounds as though you've had a difficult few years. Well done on making a fresh start for you and your little girl. Lots of luck to you.

A few months ago I realised that I needed to concentrate on myself more.
I go to weekly yoga
I am more aware of my diet
I meditate daily (even 5 minutes helps)
I try to make sure that I pamper myself once a week (paint my nails/use nice bath salts/face mask).

None of it is major but it’s sometimes hard to remember to do something for yourself when you have children and/or a career.

What Ada said.

I think budget toiletries and cosmetics are fine esp when youth is on your side.

Dentist regularly is mandatory as is flossing. And smile.
Good shoes will prevent problems later.
One thing I'd pay more attention to if I could turn the clock back is my hands which have sun damage - handcream and factor 15 from April to September.
Be a little bit selfish. 20-30 mins of "me time". Every single day.

The main thing for me is enough sleep. Catch up tv instead of late nights is a friend in that regard.

Before my breast cancer diagnosis I would have regular back massages but still can't lie on my front so miss them dearly . So I'm trying various things. A long hot soak and a good podcast usually does the trick at the moment.

Pampering myself is such an alien concept. My toe nails get super long and then snap off because I don't cut them often enough. I mean it doesn't even take long. 5 minutes max to just get them cut but when you have 100 other things to do little things like that get put on the back burner and it's small things like that I really need to work on and change.

Blimey op. Bath, nail scissors, foot lotion. Three minutes tops. Not including the bath .

OP: hair every six weeks 1hr 40.
Pedicure every 6 weeks 50 mins
Dentist and hygienist: 3 hrs annually
Flossing - 2 mins daily
Shwr abt 6 mins daily with a quick pit and shin shave as necessary
Hair with curling brush abt 5 mins daily
Make-up, abt 4 mins.
Pilates exercises about 5 mins daily.
General woman's check up about 15 mins per year.

MNet - to fuck about a bit

@MsMellivora Thank you for that poem, it's definitely a favourite of mine. I used to have it in the back of my diary to look at during times of stress or boring meetings, but I lost it. Thank you.