It’s all getting too much

[Bluestar1]

My DH was critically ill in intensive care in October and was extremely lucky to survive. He is home now and making a excellent recovery although is still limited to what he can do and what he can’t. I’ve been looking after him and also our 12MO DS who is being particularly challenging right now. He isn’t sleeping well at all to tbh I am just exhausted full stop. Trying to juggle looking after both of them and working part time and I’ve just had enough. DS is really testing my patience and I’m just finding it so hard. I keep finding myself wishing it was just me and DH again, I just want to spend time with him after coming so close to losing him but I can’t as DS is just so constant. I feel so torn between both of them and feel awful for feeling this way. Sorry just needed a outlet, such a bad night last night!

Can you put DS in a nursery a couple of days a week to get a bit of a break? 12 months is a difficult age but he hasn't done anything wrong, he's part of your family too. But it does sound like you need some respite.

Thanks @fligglepige he already goes to nursery 3 days a week when I’m at work. Can’t really afford to send him more. I know none of this is his fault and he’s just being a typical 12 MO and I’m not letting my frustration out when he is around at all. I’ve been doing quite a good job of keeping it bottled up, hence my post.

Do you have any family nearby? I’m sure someone would want baby cuddles for an hour or so?! What are your plans for Xmas? It does sound tough at the moment, so well done on everything so far!