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Customer Service, alcohol and expectations

8 replies

Thestaffarealwayswrong · 07/12/2019 09:41

I work in a party/wedding venue and so serve alcohol among other duties and obviously am face to face with lots of people, many of whom have been drinking due to it being a party venue.
It tends to be professional type of people who come, we're not massively expensive, but well I couldn't afford a party there for 200 people and I earn a bit more than min wage (I'm not bitter about that btw it's just an illustration of the prices and the type of people that come to the venue)
I'm getting really fed up with being accused of being rude, or miserable, or boring, a jobs worth or a kill joy , or threatening that they'll get me sacked for not being able to do something someone wants me to do.
I've soul searched about this and I'm not being rude when I speak to people, but some just seem absolutely determined (and the incidents are rising) to say that I am to prove a point, and make their 'complaint' sound better.
It's not just me, other people get it too, and not just at my work place, I have lots of friends in hospitality and retail and they say the same. It's like if you say no to something, even something unreasonable, apologise, explain why etc etc and someone takes exception to that, then "The staff were rude" is something that's hard to dispute, because there's no excuse for rudeness, so it's like "I can't have X because it's an unreasonable demand, but I can't back down and lose face so if I say the staff were rude, even if they weren't, I have 'won'" saying the staff were rude validates the complaint, even if the complaint itself is unreasonable, and I honestly believe that they don't care about any repercussions for the staff, as long as they make their point.

And what's more, I think it all boils down to people not liking being told no by service staff, because some people believe they're 'better' than the service staff. So by getting you 'told off' you've been put back in your place.
An example would be not serving someone after time. It's illegal with quite strict financial penalties and even prison time a possibility for someone who does it. Yet when you explain you can't and why, some people are fair enough about it, but a rising number have a problem with it, and assume you're just being awkward, no matter how polite or apologetic you are.
I had someone take this to a manager, who again explained the license, and being sober now and not wishing (I presume) to look unreasonable by demanding someone break the law and take the concequences if caught (without facing concequences themselves) the trump card was "Well she didn't have to be rude about it!"
I wasn't, but in trying to defend that I wasn't rude it became I was calling them a liar.

They were lying, but as a manager, unless you want the situation to escalate, you have to apologise (and often give something free away!) And get the staff member to apologise. So basically in that situation I had to apologise to someone for being rude to them when I wasn't, when actually they were rude to me. All because I didn't want to break the law and risk the concequences, and because someone wanted a glass of wine. It's soul destroying that people do that, that they have this power over you and use it for some sense of superiority over another person.

It's like there's an 'us and them' mentality with some customers, like they're dying to complain and have others bow and scrape, even if the expectations couldn't be met for perfectly valid reasons.
For some "The customer is always right" directly translates to "The staff are always wrong".
I'm fed up, demoralised and brought down by it. You try harder next time there's a situation like that, you are extra careful with what and how you say it, and there's still the same result. It feels like bullying to be truthful, with my job and livelihood on the line if I stand up for myself.

I've read on here that customer service in this country is awful, but I don't think in general that it is, I think it's a class thing, and that those serving should do anything for the person they're serving regardless of if it's possible, legal or reasonable. Not doing something that's illegal, impossible or unreasonable isn't poor customer service, it's just life - you can't always get what you want for a variety of reasons.

It's also mainly centred around alcohol, and the entitled attitude a lot of people have towards it. The laws around alcohol exist for good reasons - many are in response to issues that have arisen or for medical/social reasons. But drinking alcohol is seen as a right, an absolute right rather than something that causes a lot of problems and is therefore regulated to try and address those problems. Unfortunately it's people like me at the bottom of the heap that are charged with upholding those regulations and face the punishment should we not.

I'll get off my soap box now, but I'd be interested to hear others thoughts on it.

OP posts:
MidnightCircus · 07/12/2019 09:46

I hear you, I work in retail so I get the "customer is always right" speech a lot. They usually aren't, but unless I explain a lot of shop rules, they won't know that. It's just retail/service jobs unfortunately, customers don't like being told no. I get it but yep, tis hard to deal with

GreenTulips · 07/12/2019 09:47

I think you have a point

DD is a shop assistant and faces rude people trying to return items they don’t sell with no receipt - she’s even called names and manager demanded.

Her friend serves as a waitress and during her GSCEs was focused on them and accused of not smiling enough!

Beerincomechampagnetastes · 07/12/2019 09:53

I don’t think it’s just in the service industry - it may be more obvious in your industry, but I’m seeing it in lots of places.

It seems like all someone has to do is accuse another of some perceived slight that’s impossible to defend so it becomes your word against theirs, but your tainted anyway.

Beerincomechampagnetastes · 07/12/2019 09:54

You’re *

Tink1990 · 07/12/2019 09:56

Yerp. I work in customer services and some of the complaints I deal with are absolutely ridiculous. But I have to pass them on and offer apologies down the phone otherwise I get into trouble. But I totally agree with everything you have said, particularly the part about "Well yes that's fine if she/he couldn't do that but they didn't have to be rude about it", when I know full well the person wasn't rude about it and the customer simply didn't like being told no! Very infuriating and I do feel very sorry for the staff.

Thestaffarealwayswrong · 07/12/2019 10:03

It's just retail/service jobs unfortunately, customers don't like being told no. I get it but yep, tis hard to deal with

I think I'm ground down by it, I've been doing it about 10 years and I honestly think it's getting more frequent. I love doing my job, I have some lovely experiences and the good comments and thank you's are wonderful, and outweigh the bad. Just feeling utterly demoralised today after a rough week and particularly a rough shift yesterday where everyone just wanted to shout at me, and dreading going in today to customers justifying their behaviour by "She was rude" when I wasn't .
Thank you for your understanding though @MidnightCircus and @GreenTulips

OP posts:
MidnightCircus · 07/12/2019 11:14

Flowers I totally understand, been in retail 10 years as well. This time of year plus alcohol, can't even begin to imagine how difficult that is. All I can say is don't take personally. It's directed at you, yep, but only because you are the person serving. It's taken sheer force of will at times to not take it personally for myself, but its the only thing you can do

Thestaffarealwayswrong · 08/12/2019 18:18

Thank you all for the replies, I think I must have just had a bad run and managed to encounter every unreasonable idiot around in a short space of time.
I just hate that people accuse others of being rude to excuse their own shitty behaviour, and get away with it, they do it because service staff can't 'fight back' bullying, like I said. Most of those people wouldn't dare speak to someone like that if they didn't have the 'protection' of being a customer.
I'm really lucky that my bosses know and trust me, I've not been so lucky in the past and been bollocked for someone else being a twat towards me, I've been thrown under the bus so many times because I just didn't matter to the person being unreasonable or the managers dealing with it, I was a convenient scapegoat. Depressing.
Couple of days off now so hopefully I can relax a bit and be in a better frame of mind to go back.

OP posts:
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