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Original poster

Wht happens if an elderly carer is incapacitated?

24 replies

sweetheart · 06/12/2019 09:24

Sorry for posting in chat - mostly for traffic and wasn't sure where else to put this.

I'm looking for advice if anyone can help me. The situation is regarding an elderly couple I know. One is in very poor health, house bound and needs help with everything. The other is the carer. however very shortly the carer will need to go into hospital for a few days and will be off their feet for several weeks afterwards.

They already have carers visit the house a couple of times a day to help with morning and bedtime routines.

Does anyone know what happens when the main carer is incapacitated or staying in hospital? Do social services help?

OP posts:

friedbeansandcheese · 06/12/2019 09:30

Does the cared-dor person have a named social worker? If they do, let them know about the hospital stay and arrange extra care. How much extra will be needed?

Is the care funded or does the cared-for person pay for it? If the latter, they should contact the care company to ask for more care.

Can the cared-for person move into respite care? If their carer will be off their feet for weeks, they need to put extra arrangements in place.

Windygate · 06/12/2019 09:30

A couple of years ago we had same situation with our parents. I contacted adult social services and they were a great help. A care package was put in place for discharge and DF went into respite whilst DM was actually in hospital. We were doing as much as we could but needed some extra help.

Also have a look at Princess Royal Trust for Carers, they were amazing when we had a serious issue.

Original poster

sweetheart · 06/12/2019 10:05

The cared for person does not have a social worker as far as I am aware. The care is funded, they do not pay.

The cared for person will not want to go into respite care.

They will need frequent help with going to the toilet and whilst they can feed themselves they are not mobile enough to prepare their own food or drinks.

They are moved from bed to chair in the morning, stand up occasionally during the day and then move from chair to bed in the evening. This is the extent of their mobility.

OP posts:

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Original poster

sweetheart · 06/12/2019 10:07

Windy - can I ask what additional help was put in place please? I think additional help could be found for the few days hospital stay to avoid arespite care stay but it's the several weeks afterwards that could be very tricky.

OP posts:

Original poster

sweetheart · 06/12/2019 11:54

bump - any other info available?

OP posts:

Disfordarkchocolate · 06/12/2019 11:57

Respite care is probably the only option in my experience. That way the carer can get well without being asked to do physical tasks that will set them back. When this happens it's not really what people want any more it's what they need.

Original poster

sweetheart · 06/12/2019 12:24

I'm really hoping this is not the case

OP posts:

Disfordarkchocolate · 06/12/2019 12:43

The most care my mother (far less mobile than your example) got was 2 carers 4 times a day. That would never be enough for your example, too risky. Start with the local council and see what they can do. They will think about the carer too. I hope it works out ok.

It's far better to be honest if respite care or a care home is going to be needed some time, that way you get some choice and time to prepare instead of it being an emergency when you will all have very little choice.

BlouseAndSkirt · 06/12/2019 12:51

Adult Services should put in place a care package but in reality it is unlikely to be for more than 4 visits a day.

Then the hospital need to put in a discharge package for the carer when they come out.

friedbeansandcheese · 06/12/2019 12:54

Talk to Age UK - they may be able to help. And your local council.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 06/12/2019 13:05

If they aren't self-funding, then social services will have put the package of care in place, even if they don't currently have an allocated social worker. Someone needs to contact them (it could be you on their behalf, it doesn't need to be them) and explain the situation and they'll tell you what the options are for help.

Carers 4 times a day could get them up, then prepare a meal for them, take them to the loo and put them to bed, but they're unlikely to be able to stay there all day for random toilet trips. Respite would really be the better option, but that depends on the reasons why they don't want to go to respite - if it's going to really distress them then that would be worse! Maybe the social work could ask an OT to explore mobility aid options and/or raised toilet seats to see if there's anything that could help there - although there may not be, depending on the person's mobility and/or cognitive ability.

Good luck - hope it gets sorted! But ring today so you can get a plan in place and everyone knows what will happen in advance of the hospital stay.

MrsFionaCharming · 06/12/2019 13:09

This can be very area dependent unfortunately. The most my area offer would be 4 visits a day, beyond that it would be residential care which obviously many people don’t want.

BlouseAndSkirt · 06/12/2019 13:15

If they or other family can afford it, you can get all day or 24 hour care from an agency if 4 visits a day or residential don’t suit.

Expect this to cost £1k a week though. For 24 hour live in care.

MontStMichel · 06/12/2019 14:08

Social Services can provide more - DD got around 50 hours of care a week at home and that was only in the daytime. We never wanted care at night! Residential care for her is about £174,000 pa, so care at home was way cheaper - although we could not sustain the level of stress!

Windygate · 06/12/2019 14:28

@sweetheart when DM had her fall the Princess Royal Trust moved in for 48 hours to look after DF so I could be at the hospital. When she was discharged DF's care package was increased and a separate package was put in for DM for roughly six weeks.
I still had to do a fair bit bit if was a huge help. You may not be in a position to help.

Original poster

sweetheart · 06/12/2019 15:16

Thanks for all the info - I will be sure to contact the places mentioned. It seems that care during this period is going to fall to family members which is very stressful when everyone works full time. I'm sure respite car will be offered but unfortunatly refused by the cared for and wider family members.

OP posts:

Disfordarkchocolate · 06/12/2019 15:19

I'll be honest, we tried providing extra care but it quickly became obvious it wasn't working. My Mum wasn't happy but the only safe option was a care home. I hope you find an option that works for you.

Elllicam · 06/12/2019 15:23

A lot of agencies provide temporary live in carers. It is expensive but might be worth it in the short term.

BlaueLagune · 06/12/2019 16:00

I was going to ask if the house if big enough to allow a live in carer. An agency near where I live charges from about £700 a week. Cheaper and easier than respite and doesn't have to be for long.

But in the end the person who needs care also needs to show some consideration for others. Their partner needs care themselves and that means they have to compromise.

Original poster

sweetheart · 06/12/2019 16:16

There is room but I'm not sure paying will be the answer - there are family dynamics at play here which adds to the stress of the situation. Siblings with differing views on care expectations, avilable time to help and differing budgets all have to be delicatly balanced!

OP posts:

dangermouseisace · 06/12/2019 16:36

If they contact social services they’ll discuss their options whilst the carer is recuperating. Extra visits, respite or a direct payment for respite (so they choose how it’s spent) could all be options. They may put in some care for the carer too...

BlouseAndSkirt · 06/12/2019 18:40

OP, do you and siblings have POA? You need to get it in case things deteriorate.

Do the couple own their home? That can be borrowed against to pay for care.

But in the end the person who needs care also needs to show some consideration for others Hollow laughter. IMO the exact point that this consideration is needed is the exact point that all reason and consideration goes out the window.

BlouseAndSkirt · 06/12/2019 18:41

Sorry, IME, not IMO.

hatgirl · 06/12/2019 19:00

You could ask social services for a direct payment of the equivalent of the cost of a week's residential respite care.

Basically they will give you the cash equivalent and let you sort it out yourselves from there, but you would need to show that what you were organising was safe and legal. This can take time to sort out though so the sooner you get on to them the better.

The carer may also be eligible for care or reablement in their own right when they are discharged on top of anything that can be arranged additional for the carer for person during that time.

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