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Original poster

So, I’m ‘the grown up’ then?

77 replies

TheTeethingPoo · 06/12/2019 09:10

I’ve managed to get to my thirties and only this week have I realised I’m ‘the grown up’.

When perusing the new eyebrow bar in the bus station in town, two teenage boys of about 13/14 were lurking nearby:

Teen 1: ask that woman there

Teen 2 shuffled over to me: ‘excuse me miss, I’ve lost my bus pass and I’m not sure what to do’

My mind couldn’t believe that 1) I was the woman, 2) he called me miss and 3) trusted me to fix a problem.

I also was thinking ‘how the fuck should I know? Maybe I should phone my mum?’ Instead I asked if he’d been to the help desk, and walked him over to the help desk to see if it had been handed in. Suggested calling a parent for a lift (both working apparently). Convinced the help desk to give him a free pass to get the bus home and told him to leave his name and number (and parents name/number) with the help desk in case it’s handed in.

He left me with a little wave and a ‘thank-you miss’.

So, it’s official I’m ‘the grown up’. I’m now supposed to have the answers for the youths Shock in my mind I’m still 17!!

What moment made you realise you were ‘the grown up’?

It should be noted, I had my 6 month old with me but even becoming a parent didn’t shock me into grown-up mode Grin

OP posts:
BreastedBoobilyToTheStairs · 06/12/2019 10:13

I'm 28 - I was out walking the dog a few months ago and a couple of boys around 11/12 yo came over to tell me that some teenagers in the park had made a bonfire and walked off and left it, and asked what should they do. It's the first time I was called 'miss' and was very off putting!

Loyaultemelie · 06/12/2019 10:14

When in a restaurant dd1s friend looked at me went white and said "I think I'm gonna..." and I had her across the room into the loo before she could throw up. I remember thinking I must be the grownup because who the fuck would leave me in charge of their kid, mine know I'm winging it.

Mind you I since fell over ice skating leading to a lifelong disability because in my head I was still 15 and could do jumps and spins not 37 with no coordination

JustHavinABreak · 06/12/2019 10:15

When someone else in the supermarket told their child to "say thank you to the lady" and I looked over my shoulder to see who they were talking about and realised it was me Shock

Helbelle17 · 06/12/2019 10:15

Looking for childcare for our dd. I was 42!

Toddlerteaplease · 06/12/2019 10:16

It still feels very odd telling my parents that I can't do something as I'm
At work. I'm 38.
It's also taken this long to realise that I can do what I like, and if I want to buy a house then I can. (My mum was worried I'd have no spare cash for emergencies)

GameSetMatch · 06/12/2019 10:18

I’m still not a grown woman apparently, I’m in my mid thirties answered the front door of my own home a few months back to be asked ‘are your parents home’

pinkstar01 · 06/12/2019 10:20

I'm the eldest of 4 (now 34) and I've always felt "grown up" as had to be responsible from a young age! On the other hand my sister is 27 and is so immature compared to how I was at her age, so maybe sibling order has something to do with it?

ivfbabymomma1 · 06/12/2019 10:20

I'm 32 with a 5 month old and I think I first realised I was an adult when the HV came
to talk to me about weaning! And I thought wow I'm in change of this little human eating! But before that injections and doctors appointments just felt like booking the dog in to the vets 🤷🏻‍♀️

CMOTDibbler · 06/12/2019 10:22

The first time I felt proper grown up was when I had to face the school uniform shop with DS.

But the 'real adult' bit was when I had to start buying my parents clothes and checking through their stuff to see what needed replacing. Thats when it hit home that I had to parent them now and I didn't get to be parented

Aycharow · 06/12/2019 10:24

I've been voted on to a committee this week, and also been asked if I would like to join our local branch of the Lions Club.

I feel old... Grin

wildcherries · 06/12/2019 10:27

When I had to start thinking about pension contributions. Adulting is overrated.

Your OP made me smile.

StarySkyTonight · 06/12/2019 10:27

I turned 40 this year, have been married for over 15 years, with DH for 22 years, have a mortgage and we have two children (DD1 12 and DD2 10) and in my head I feel like I'm 19 years old still. I have never felt the feeling of being the adult and was wondering out loud to DH the other day about when that feeling comes, DH say's he feels the same. Even when someone uses my full first name or calls me Mrs StarySkyTonight I always feel confused because to me that's what adults are called Blush

Saucery · 06/12/2019 10:29

When I was walking home from primary school with DS and a secondary school pupil with a flat bike tyre asked if she could borrow my phone to call her Mum as she was going to be late walking instead of cycling. Then I felt awful because I didn’t have my phone on me, so not the Proper Grown Up that child needed.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 06/12/2019 10:31

In the UK, people refer to me as “that lady”. Here in Germany, young people automatically call me “Sie” instead of “Du”. I was offered a seat the other day and thought bugger, time to sort out my grey roots.

I am officially a grown up but certainly don’t feel it. But my mum feels the same, says she’s still 25 in her head.

ImportantWater · 06/12/2019 10:35

When I moved back to my hometown in my mid-30s I would look around me as I went shopping or whatever to see if I recognised anyone who had been at my school or that I had known when I lived there. But I realised I was looking at groups of late teens and early 20s people, not oldies like me. So clearly part of me still thought I was a youngster.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 06/12/2019 10:36

Odd feeling isn’t it? Mine was when I received a telephone call from social services asking if we could be an emergency foster placement for our DN. I got off the phone, called DH & said “I don’t feel grown up enough for this”(I was 22). Also arranging my Dad’s funeral & dealing with his affairs, knowing that my “grown up” was gone made me realise I must really be one now (last year at 29).

Well done for helping him, nice to hear something about the youth of today being polite for once Grin

JudgeRindersMinder · 06/12/2019 10:39

@Muchtoomuchtodo same here. Power of attorney for finances and welfare for my dad who has dementia really really sucks. Every time I use the card for his bank account it hits me

AllTheUserNamesAreTaken · 06/12/2019 10:39

When my DS was born and my best friend and Mum were at the hospital and having a cuddle. DS started grizzling and wouldn’t settle so they said ‘I think he needs Mummy’ and handed him back to me. At that point I thought ‘oh fuck, that’s me, i’m the grown up’ 😱

AllTheUserNamesAreTaken · 06/12/2019 10:41

I should add, I was 34 at the time

theendoftheendoftheend · 06/12/2019 10:45

When my mum pointed out I didn't need her permission to get a puppy as I'm an adult with my own home/job/family!

MsMellivora · 06/12/2019 10:49

MIL is the last if the generation above us left, when she goes that means we will be the oldest generation and I find that scary somehow.

hairyxmasturkey · 06/12/2019 10:49

I totally get you! We had some workmen doing the road by our house and they ran out of tea so I took some teabags out to them. As I walked back to my house one shouted to the other 'that lady brought us some teabags!'

I was totally taken aback as I'd assumed we were all the same age... Shock

SuddenArborealStop · 06/12/2019 10:58

I'm planning a home birth for second child, despite first child I didn't feel like a grown up until I realised I didn't have to get my mother's go ahead to have the home birth.
I'm not sure she'd give her permission tbh.

MintyMabel · 06/12/2019 11:03

To be honest the whole time on the inside I was like ‘am I doing this wrong?

In your 30’s? Helping teenagers with a bus pass?

Ratonastick · 06/12/2019 11:16

I had a problem with my power a couple of months ago. I rang the electrician, got someone out and got it sorted all by myself. It is the first household crisis when I haven’t panicked and called my Dad. I felt unbelievably grown up. I am 48 and have been a householder since I was 23........