Are you socially awkward?

[Rudolphsjinglebells]

How do you deal with it?

I find the thing that bothers me most is when people text or message me. I spend ages thinking about the reply before I actually hit send. Wish I didn't think into things so much

How old are you, OP? These things sometimes get easier with age and practice. But it may just be part of your nature, and it’s not a bad thing to be thoughtful and careful, rather than impulsive.

How do I deal with it? I just keep living life I suppose. There isn't much you can do.

I agree with Babdoc. I found as I got older that I cared less about what people thought of me, and that gave me the confidence to feel at ease.

I have social anxiety. I over think and get anxious from most social interactions inclu texts.

I'm fine with written word so text and email is a preference for me. I just don't go out socially. Ive worked in the same company for years so they understand this.

At least you have time to think when it is a written response. You aren't exactly put on the spot like you would be if someone expected a verbal response.

If I need time to think carefully about replying to an email I tend to write it as a draftemail or a Word document, go away and think about it then come back and tweak it before I send it.

I used to be very socially anxious. It got better as I got older and stopped taking myself so seriously, I think. When you think about it, it’s a very self-absorbed state of mind - the belief that other people around you are constantly looking at you, judging you, assessing what you say etc. Repeat the mantra “nobody gives a shit” over and over, because it really is true, the vast majority of people the vast majority of the time are too busy thinking about themselves to care too much what you’re doing.

Otherwise, have you heard of improvisation theatre? It’s really good for helping you as lib and do things on the spot.

I've got worse since having children. I used to be more socially driven, probably because I had enough private alone time. Since having DCs, my confortable social groups have splintered as we've all had DCs at the same time, and distance has become a problem. I haven't really gelled and found my tribe of local people. I also value quiet, alone time, but that probably lets my internal monologue go a bit too dominant.

Messaging services have really taken off in that time, and that can be splintered with different people favouring different apps. I can over-think things like messaging at a convenient timeslot or getting the tone right. I never was a phone up for a chat person, and calls and messages tend to be purposeful.

It's not so much that I worry about what people think of me. I'm pretty comfortable with myself and non-conformist tendencies, but I have found it tricky to connect with people and get further than a friendly aquaintence. I can also struggle with group conversation and background noise which is also a hinderence.

I'm SO social anxious and a really awkward person. I still feel ill about awkward stuff I said fifteen years ago

My biggest fear is being laughed at so I come across as being quite uptight, as I won't just "have a go" at something fun in case it goes badly and I'm teased for it.

I have had social anxiety all my life, tried several things including professional help but I’m still awkward. I just don’t really bother going ‘out’ out socially anymore (e.g. work drinks) it’s too much stress.

However, seeking professional help has at least allowed me to function daily (I can take public transport, hold down a job, buy something at a till etc)

As another pp said, I come across rather uptight because I can’t loosen up

I hate to be a pessimist but from my experience people do feel uncomfortable around socially awkward people. I mean I don’t fully blame them (makes sense to prefer being around someone entertaining), but I’ve always been described negatively as the quiet girl or heard others bitch about another quiet person 🤷‍♀️
Even when I really try and mimick the light hearted, playfulness of outgoing people, I rarely receive the same reaction. I think it’s because I’ve already been labelled as the ‘weird one’ so it’s hard to break away from i

I hate to be a pessimist but from my experience people do feel uncomfortable around socially awkward people

Sadly, I think you are right. When you think about it if you make a social approach to someone who won't engage with you it makes you feel awkward. This is what it can be like talking to someone who is socially awkward. People do give up if they feel like they are talking to a brick wall. It becomes a vicious circle. Then they just get described as "hard work"

When you think about it, it’s a very self-absorbed state of mind - the belief that other people around you are constantly looking at you, judging you, assessing what you say etc. Repeat the mantra “nobody gives a shit” over and over, because it really is true, the vast majority of people the vast majority of the time are too busy thinking about themselves to care too much what you’re doing.

This is very true. I used to be painfully shy and very awkward socially. One day someone said to me "what makes you think you are so important that people are talking about you". It was harsh, but made me think.

I also suffer from hugggeeee social anxiety, but my job requires me to speak to members of the public / hospital staff other services etc and I can do that no problem.

It's feels as though once I wear the uniform for work I become a different person, but out of it I fear if I socialise I won't fit in or have anything interesting to say and people would find me boring.

All my life I've wished I had the confidence that I don't have, but I'm working on it! So here's hoping

I'm 29.

I'm better face to face with people, I know that conversations happen all the time and people forget them quickly. If I've messed up a word they'll have forgotten about it in no time etc.

I get the fear of being laughed at. I won't try funny things that other people try for fear of looking stupid. So I probably do come across as uptight.

With my job and the school run etc I have no choice but to put on a brave face and speak to people in person, even though I'm nervous I try to block it out.

But if any of my colleagues/other school parents text me then, I spend ages thinking about my reply. I'd be better off if I didn't have time to think about a reply like when having a face to face conversation.

I also get the timing thing, trying not to catch people at bad times. A parent from the school text me at 10pm last night, I was in bed so saw it at 5.30 this morning when I woke up. Then I'm left thinking what time would be socially acceptable to send a reply!

I am having therapy at the minute btw, as I have pnd which has brought horrible anxiety with it. I'm due to go back to work soon