Don’t feel like a failure, you’re trying to sort this out. This is the first step, I know mumsnet will be full of good advice.
Financially, there’s are lots of things you can do. Contact your lenders and ask for reduction in interest rates, lower monthly payments, contact your local debt charity, know your monthly budget and look at where you could be saving, just don’t bury your head in the sand when it comes to money.
When it comes to the house, set aside an hour and see what you can manage in that time. Maybe you can clear the kitchen work surfaces and run the hoover around; if your unsure how to go about getting that done, spend 5 mins writing a list and tick it all off as you go. If you can, get your 11 year old to help, even if it’s just with the list of things to do. Make sure your partner is on board and pulling their weight too. It’s a team effort. Looking after the house shouldn’t be all down to you.
With birthday presents and Christmas, all I can say is spend within your means. There’s no point in getting into more debt to put on a great big birthday and Christmas show, you’ll just feel worse off for it in the long run.
Good luck, you can do this, you’ve already taken the first step in getting your feelings off your chest, that must feel like a weight off, now is time for action.