Catching and stopping a MH slump before it takes hold fully. Possible? Advice?

[ChateauneufDuTwat]

Have had bouts of low mood and high anxiety in the past. Have never taken an antid but do have betablockers that I take when anxiety gets bad (i.e. not daily).

My life is good. Everyone is healthy and happy. Things are stable and completely drama free. My career is taking off after years as a SAHM. Relationship with DP of two years is going from strength to strength, he's spending Xmas eve with me and DC for the first time and we're all super happy and excited.

Yet............

For the last few days I've felt myself slipping into negative thoughts and flat sadness.

• Disengaging from contact with loved ones. Strong urge to just cut myself off and just climb into my shell.

• Worrying about things going wrong with kids/job/money.

• Worrying about DP getting bored of me/my moods being a turnoff (he's ever been anything other than supportive and loving and generally just ace). This escalated into me worrying that he'll find someone else who isn't a miserable cow.

• Waking up with my first thought being: I could ring in sick to work (I've never had a sick day btw).

• Having to talk myself into taking Ddog for a walk as the effort seems too much (I haven't missed one yet).

• Forcing myself to keep on top of chores.

• Just wanting to wallow and sleep and have a cry and eat utter shite.

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

Need to kick myself up the arse.

My main problem with my theory that it is ok that every so often my MH takes a dive because I know that in a couple of weeks it will get ok again by itself is that I now realise I am constantly looking out for the day it all falls apart again. I know and accept that day will come, but every time things feel a bit wobbly (which is most days, and I don't think that is unusual) I start worrying that it is the start of the next slide into darkness. That's not great. I wish I wasn't constantly waiting for it to creep up behind me.

Going a bit against the grain I find when my anxiety is starting to spiral mindfulness and even yoga seems to make it worse. I start to be "in my head"TOO much. I have to be active and do something physical / get out in the fresh air.

One thing that does work is I now recognise that early in the morning waking up and feeling like I can't cope/ life would be better for everyone if I didn't exist/ I can't get up today. And now instead of trying to meditate or go back to sleep or listening to my internal voice repeat the negative thoughts I recognise it's my mental health going wrong. I get up and go for a run or walk the dog (even if it's 5am) or just get up and have a cup of tea in the bath and by the time Ive done that the feeling has gone or at least feels more manageable.
Sometimes just distracting that negative voice a bit helps break the spiral for me.

I stick my diary to the wall (a piece of paper really) so its not a pain in the arse to do every day.