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Original poster

Warning a bit morbid

87 replies

Grumpbum123 · 03/12/2019 15:17

Have you given much thought to how you want to be disposed of when you die? This is something I’ve given an awful lot of thought to due to mental health issues.
In an ideal world I’d like a sky burial however that’s never going to happen so I’d like a plain burial with no ceremony or fuss, just chuck me in the ground and forget about me.

OP posts:
RudolphTheRedNosedTwatCat · 03/12/2019 15:53

I really don't care. I'd like to leave as little impact on the land as possible. So whatever is greenest. But really it comes to whoever is left behind making that final decision and whatever they feel most comfortable with. But chuck me in the ground and forget about me for all I care. I'm not religious. So whatever.

AuntieMarys · 03/12/2019 15:54

Direct cremation all sorted here. No funeral service.

AuntieMarys · 03/12/2019 15:55

And it's not morbid at all. Too many people don't talk about death and funerals...its going to happen! Unfair to saddle your loved ones with making decisions when they are grieving.

HigherFurtherFasterBaby · 03/12/2019 15:56

My Dads donating his body to the local medical school.

DGRossetti · 03/12/2019 16:04

And it's not morbid at all. Too many people don't talk about death and funerals...its going to happen!

It's a shame we don't stop and reflect more on how lucky we - as a generation, culture and society - are that we have the luxury to consider morbid as a denigration. Possibly for the first time in mankinds history ? Even 150 years ago, mortality was shocking and people were forced to confront death (and it's associated suffering and disease) daily.

Seeing sculptures made out of human bones in the Paris catacombs (The Palermo ones are a little ... more intense) is quite a sobering and contemplative experience. If I had a bucket list that didn't leak, I'd also have Sedlec Ossuary on it.

Callaird · 03/12/2019 16:32

My boyfriend passed away aged 38, we had spoken briefly about what he wanted when he died, he always said he would die young.

I wrote a letter to my brother after his cremation to tell him what I wanted, all the details of my bank accounts, all the people he has to notify of my death to stop direct debits going out of my accounts! The family solicitor has it now, they have been my parents solicitor for more than 50 years.

I also have a notarised letter saying that he is my next of kin as that was the toughest part of sorting everything out for my boyfriend, he was estranged from his parents, hadn’t seen or spoken to them in over 20 years, they were abusive (his dad was abusive, his mum took his dad’s side) She came to visit 5 weeks after he died and asked what happened, wanted to see where he died and asked how much money he left and how much was on his life insurance policy.

NoShitHemlock · 03/12/2019 16:41

I absolutely want to be cremated. I have a huge irrational fear of coming back as a zombie.

Don't judge me Blush

Maxineputyourredshoeson · 03/12/2019 18:32

@NoShitHemlock me too! And worms etc crawling over me... yes, I know I wouldn’t feel it but...

To add to my previous post, when I completed the paperwork for my body to be donated to science DM did the same. My dad has told me exactly what he would like - to be cremated no funeral. DH wants to be buried. I know DH has had the same conversation with his DM.

I feel it’s important to tell loved ones what your wishes are. My FIL died a few years ago and although him and MIL had been together many years they had never discussed what he would like to happen.

NaviSprite · 03/12/2019 19:17

I used to want to be buried in an eco coffin and a tree planted over my grave... but given how expensive funerals are I’m planning on making a recording for my DC to say goodbye and will tell them (when they’re old enough) what I’ve told DH, cheapest way possible and try to remember the good as best they can, other than that I really have no preference. I have said that if any parts of me can be donated to science then to try that too.

happinessischocolate · 03/12/2019 19:18

My mum and dad are in a woodland burial ground, in wicker coffins and have trees planted on their graves, it's lovely to visit. A friend was buried there 15 years ago and he's right in the middle of mature woodland now. There's a duck pond and only natural flowers are allowed so it's all bluebells and daffodils etc

I need to start thinking about buying a plot for me

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 03/12/2019 19:23

Yep, have written it into a basic will. I want to be cremated and scattered on the beach where we scattered DH earlier this year. I've even chosen some funeral songs - they may change but DH and I started to journal our choices when he was dying. His list changed about 3 times!

user1471453601 · 03/12/2019 19:28

I've left my body to the nearest teaching hospital. It's not certain that they will be able to accept it (e.g. If I die on a bank holiday, or if I die of certain diseases etc). Otherwuse, I'll be cremated. My DD is fully aware of my s decision. If there is anything about me ( unlikely at my age) that someone alive can use, my DD knows that's what I will want.to

I find the inability of some to discuss their inevitable death mystifying.

We are all going to die. Why hide from the things that will flow from that?

Doobigetta · 03/12/2019 19:29

I really want a viking style cremation at sea, but you aren’t allowed. I’m also very unhappy about the idea of being a zombie though, so an ordinary cremation will do.

ActualHornist · 03/12/2019 19:31

I don’t really care, whatever makes my family happy, but my preference would be cremation or donation to science.

Having said that, my stipulation would be only that they don’t spend lots of money on it. I’d rather they spent the tiniest amount on the legalities then went on holiday together and raised a glass to me.

MzPumpkinPie · 03/12/2019 19:37

Cremation. No funeral service but an evening garden party for family and friends and my ashes sent up in a giant firework.
Lots of food and drinks and no tears.
I had a bleed on my brain stem in August and my doctors gave me the chances of surviving if I got to so many days, weeks months etc
5 months survivor almost and I can walk ( very slowly and wobbly ) and talk again.
Had my 7th mri scan today and once again someone on my clinical team said we aren't sure how you're alive.
I've had plenty of time to think about how I want to go while I've been either in hospital or bed bound or stuck on the sofa.
I hope I'll be ok now I've come so far.
They didn't get past 3 months in their gloomy survival predictions!

Likethebattle · 03/12/2019 20:33

Cremate me and sprinkle me into the wind. I have a phobia of worms and of being buried alive (being burned to ash reduces the chances I’ll wake up under the ground).

Stompythedinosaur · 03/12/2019 20:37

My ideal is being burnt in a pyre like I'm a viking while friends and family drink mead and tell stories about my many brave adventures.

I will settle for being cremated and scatter in the forest I live in. If money was no object I might consider a green site burial in a wicker basket.

haba · 03/12/2019 20:40

doobigetta that's what my ds wants too!

I'm happy to be chucked in a dumpster tbh, don't care. A body isn't a person.

Nat6999 · 03/12/2019 20:40

I want a direct cremation, no service, no frills & dump my ashes in the nearest bin.

FrogFairy · 03/12/2019 20:41

I would like to donate my organs but you have to die in the right way, or donate my body to medical research but am currently too fat and am missing my womb and ovaries so might not be wanted.

Failing either of the above I would want a direct cremation as cheap as possible. I would prefer any assets to go to my son rather than blowing thousands on a funeral.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 03/12/2019 20:52

I'd like to be buried under a tree in a shroud or wicker coffin.

My dad says he'd like to be dipped in liquid nitrogen and hit with a hammer. It would be a bit messy when the bits defrosted though.

LittleMissnotLittleMrs · 03/12/2019 20:53

Medical science first then promession (freezing rather than burning as per a cremation)

thenewaveragebear1983 · 03/12/2019 21:00

I would be cremated but under no circumstances scattered. Bury the whole lot, or keep me on the mantelpiece but I really don't like the idea of being scattered about. I actually get quite unnerved when I hear about people splitting ashes for eg. 2 separate scattering in different countries, for example if someone was born in one country but lived in another.

DontCallMeShitley · 03/12/2019 21:05

I would like a sky burial and have watched videos on it.

The first ones I watched the body was placed intact on the ground, but later there were others which were not intact after they were unwrapped.

If you plan to look for them, be aware that you might not like what you see.

Kalim8 · 03/12/2019 21:13

Cremation for me and I'd leave it up to those left to do what they like with the ashes - they might want to turn erstwhile me into jewellery or glaze a pot.