Funny family behaviour (lighthearted)

[Fucck]

We've got a DH family get together this weekend, we get on well but any sort of occasion with them is just full of secret eye rolling and smirking from "Us Youngsters" due to some of their hilarious behaviour.
His aunt still insists that everyone calls her Aunty Barbara - even me when she clearly isn't my aunty anything - but you have to refer to her as Aunty Barbara every time you interact, no matter how insignificant or casual, as she will pull you up on it!
She also still talks to DH in a Cutey-Wutey baby language way (when addressing him directly) and has been known to try to pull a cheek pinch manoeuvre. My DH is 48. And about 18 inches taller than her so it just becomes comical. He takes it all in good humour, as do all of the other Youngsters all in their40s in the family.
I'm sure you may be picturing a homely looking elderly lady but in reality she's barely 20 years older than him and is perfectly fit and healthy and a relatively fashionable, seemingly functional human 🤷🏼‍♀️ she has all manner of other funny quirks that are too tricky to try to get across to you successfully but it all makes for a fairly entertaining evening. She's good natured enough.

It's made me smile at the thought of what lies ahead for the weekend and also made me wonder what funny things you are expecting from your extended family this Christmas?

All sitting in the kitchen because they strapped their 70" tv to the wall in there next to the dining table.

There's a 2 seater sofa, but otherwise, everyone sits on dining chairs or stands watching the tv. Also the lighting is insanely bright. Standing under a dozen 100w type leds.

They have two other reception rooms, both with ample room and furniture for seating, and more cosy style lighting.

Every time we come away DH always take the piss of my level of indignance that they always 'entertain' like that (before we even get to the point that indulged teen BIL is always allowed to stick sport on said giant screen that everyone else is obliged to feign interest in for 2+ hours).

Thecats that sounds errr .... comfortable

My brother has an insanely large telly above his mantlepiece but unfortunately he has a rather narrow lounge and his mantle is about shoulder height to begin with. It's like sitting in the front row of very compact cinema!

People do like to congregate in the kitchen though, don't they? I have this problem sometimes if I host. I try to follow everyone else's lead but it wouldn't bother me in the slightest if someone picked up their drink and said shall we go sit in the other room? Can you get someone like minded on side? Try to steer the crowd.
The sports thing is a problem here but we leave them to it. If someone is monopolising with the football I just form a break off group and set up elsewhere.

I just make sure there are visits to ours in the schedule, and encourage DH to continue to foster his own relationships with his family .

We've come to the realisation that we prefer my family during the day (where we actually meet to DO things together, rather than sit watching tv or talk about traffic...), but his during the evening for drinks etc.

Apparently my family manage to put custard on whatever is pudding, whether or not it is designated a pudding that goes with custard (DH seems to think there's a master list held somewhere of which foods One can eat with custard) Whereas my family think my DH is weird for not eating custard at all ("Did you know this before you married him?")

All, I think we must be distant cousins or something, custard is king in my house. I could drink the stuff on it's own! whereas DH doesn't put any sort of sauce on anything. Not even ..... shock horror... gravy on his Christmas dinner 😱

Haha cats, "fostering his own relationships" imma gonna try that one!

My in-laws insist on plating up all meals fully in the kitchen, so like for Christmas dinner it's all complicated who wants different combinations of the 2 different types of meat, pigs in blankets, the 6 different types of veg, gravey, bread sauce etc. It takes so long that the food is cold by the time we're all served up.

Same goes for Chinese takeaway, everyone chooses a dish to order, but then they are dished out a spoonful to each person, it's so strange! I'm happy to share a few spoonfuls, but you literally end up with one spoonful if what you order and 7 spoons of things you don't really like!

Our laugh at the parents, well their dad, concerns Mash Potato and Gravy. The kids say that ‘ we have to eat dad’s custard with a knife and fork (too thick) and drink the mash potato through a straw’.

They are far too polite to tell me that annoying things I do.

@TheLovleyChebbyMcGee

I would feel murderous in that scenario.

My MIL plates up, but according to what rules I don't know. She only does the main component of the meal, then others are in shared dishes. But we each get handed a plate, with outrage if they go to the wrong person... but they all look the same!

Luckily DH and I managed to convince them to leave our chinese alone last time, and their daughter, my SIL and her husband jumped at that option too, it was so much better!

Christmas dinner still gives me the rage though!

My mum also plated up the meals and never gave us enough roast potatoes. When dinner was over she would ask if anyone wanted any more “as there are more roast potatoes and meat in the kitchen”

TVs and radios blasting in every room, all on different channels, with everybody shouting over them. MIL puts the TV on in the living room. FIL decides he doesn't like what she's put on, goes into the kitchen, puts the radio on, remembers there's football on, goes into their bedroom (leaving the kitchen radio on), comes down at half time for a cuppa, leaving the upstairs TV on, decides he wants to watch what MIL is watching, but she's not actually watching it: she's shouting across the room to tell me a long, involved story about 15 people I've never met.

she's shouting across the room to tell me a long, involved story about 15 people I've never met Are they dead? They're always dead

They are invariably dead, or at least dying, but it normally takes her a good half an hour to get to the point where she announces that.

Perhaps you are married to my BIL then. My MIL could win a competition in repetitive story telling where the protagonist is always dead and linked in some complex and bizarre way to someone else I don't know. You can interrupt at 30 seconds intervals saying "is he dead? Is he dead?" but she'll keep going until the bitter end until she's ready to pronounce him dead.

My mil eats tiny portions and was definitely guilty of serving "penis portions" when we first got together but I soon managed to straighten that one out. Except, it's gone the other way now and if there's any potato's or veg left in the serving bowls on the table I get "I'm sure fucck will finish these" while she's simultaneously spooning them on to my plate

I feel glad that I don't know any repetitive talkers though!

Op. I don't put sauce on anything. Especially gravy. Soggy food. Yuk. I have custard separately on puddings!

@Fucck My mil eats tiny portions and was definitely guilty of serving "penis portions" when we first got together but I soon managed to straighten that one out.

Penis portions!?

Ah jellyfish, it is the usually MIL art of serving the men of the household enormous portions while the little women get tiny portions, based purely on gender and not individual appetites.

My MIL and her pea's! Every hot meal involves pea's!
Except she seems incapable of serving them, so she always shouts for my dad in-law to do it.
We wait for her cry of Daaaaave can you see to the peeeeea's so we can mime it to each other.

How bizarre 😂 obsessed with peas! That's funny

@Fucck Of course! I hadn’t heard it called that before. Good name though

Boxing Day party at MIL house every year, 30 people for turkey rice, served with a dessert spoon so it took ages and a limited amount of cutlery so we all ate room temperature, greasy rice in shifts over several hours.

This was pre kids so I'd just pack lots of snacks and get extremely drunk.

DH still sometimes serves meals with tiny spoons despite us having a drawer of serving spoons, you know, for serving.

I do miss hot food but it's either that or I have to cook every meal. Even then he'll go to the loo as soon as it's served so the rest of us just start without him.

What is it with Men who go to the toilet just as dinner is served? Is it a pre-emptive strike?

What is it with Men who go to the toilet just as dinner is served? Is it a pre-emptive strike?

Yes! Although it’s not just men as my DP does it and it drives me mad!!