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Original poster

Would you stay off work for a sick 13-14yo?

47 replies

clary · 03/12/2019 10:32

Just wondering really. Colleague called in yesterday to say they would be working to home due to child being ill - nothing dangerous, just off school with headache and feeling grotty.

Colleague worked from home but access can be a bit glitchy so this is not ideal, also had to cancel attendance at meetings and no one could ask them things in person. Colleague is v hard working, no issue there. I was just surprised as I would have left child comfortable on sofa with snacks and drinks and phoned to check, but certainly gone into work.

Mind you I used to be a teacher, which you obv can't do from home, also the hassle of setting work makes you much less likely to be in, also I would have felt guilty. Of course I am not thinking of serious illness needing hospital, or issues involving A&E, or a much younger child, but a 13-14yo? Really? Was I a harsh mum to trust them to be ok without me there? Would you stay off or go in?

OP posts:

FabbyChix · 03/12/2019 11:48

I’d never stay home with a child that age or even a year younger

FishCanFly · 03/12/2019 11:55

Staying off work so your teen doesn't watch youtube? That should sit well with your employer.

ExpletiveFairylighted · 03/12/2019 11:57

I agree it depends on the illness, the child, how far away and contactable you would be.

Mine are virtually never off ill (one day off each since starting secondary school, now years 9 and 11) but I do let them watch TV all day if they are ill, they appreciate it and don't abuse it.

Interested in this thread?

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Families

Damntheman · 03/12/2019 12:20

If I had the potential to work from home I'd absolutely do that when my child was ill!

Fuzzywuzzyface · 03/12/2019 13:33

I wouldn't leave my 13 year old son alone all day.. I leave at 6.45 and return about 5 pm - I commute by train and the service is hourly non peak.
I leave a couple of days annual leave 'spare' to cover this sort of eventuality as my lot can be a bit funny about working from home even though the system has the capability to allow it!

rhubarbcrumbles · 03/12/2019 13:44

BVH yes I would if I could, otherwise my sick 13-14 yr old would spend the day on playstation.

I don't see that as a problem TBH, if they aren't well then they get to do whatever they feel like - I'd spend all day watching tv if I wanted to if I was ill.

SunshineInMySprocket · 03/12/2019 13:49

I wouldn’t leave my 13 year old alone all day if she was ill. I leave at 6:30am and sometimes I’m not back until 6/7pm. I would take it as an unpaid day off school myself or ask DH to take if off (his work are more flexible than mine in terms of half days/working from home etc). We’d compare schedules and work it out. My DD wouldn’t be comfortable at home alone if she was ill enough to be off school.

thekaiserswife · 03/12/2019 13:52

No, I'd set them up with enough snacks and drinks, tuck them up comfy in bed it on the sofa and give them DVD's, iPad etc. To occupy them. I'd text or phone in regularly to check on them. I would trust a child that age to be able to take paracetamol (or similar) on instruction and responsibly.

However, I would stay home if they were vomiting a lot or had a high temperature and I was worried about them deteriorating.

iamNOTmagic · 03/12/2019 14:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Comefromaway · 03/12/2019 14:13

I wouldn't have left them at that age for more than an hour or so whilst ill. Dd I wouldn't have left all as she had form for passing out (no locking bathroom doors when she is ill!).

They are 15 almost 16 and 18 now and are left alone when ill.

Original poster

clary · 03/12/2019 14:26

Thanks for the responses all, an interesting range. Relieved I am not the only parent who would leave them!

Yy I would stay too if they were vomiting every ten mins (never had that thsnkfulky) or other serious issue. As I said in my op.

I don't have an issue BTW with this colleague working from home, but there are things we do in my team that you cannot do from home so it's not a panacea.

OP posts:

Freshprincess · 03/12/2019 14:29

Yes. I'm currently working from home with a sick 15 year old.

DobbinOnTheLA · 03/12/2019 14:33

If you're surpised by it, perhaps it's better to assume your colleague had a very good reason but didn't want to share the ins and outs of it. Perhaps her child is being bullied/is a bully(!), Child is experiencing mental health issues/was suspicious child was faking to go an do something risky etc etc

Original poster

clary · 03/12/2019 16:33

Well I meant it was surprising in general and I wondered if I was well off the pace, but looks like I'm not especially.

OP posts:

DobbinOnTheLA · 03/12/2019 16:48

But you also said Colleague is v hard working, no issue there so why not trust colleague's judgment for staying home?

Fucck · 03/12/2019 16:54

I don't have an issue BTW with this colleague working from home
Well the fact you made a thread about it means you kinda do 🤷🏼‍♀️

Original poster

clary · 03/12/2019 20:53

No I really don't.

If my DC when 14 were ill, not throwing up or anything dangerous, just feeling a bit grim and needing to stay snuggled on sofa or in bed, I would have gone into work. I don't know what use I would have been to them at home.

But they weren't Ill very often anyway. so I wondered if I was a lone voice on this and the vast majority would stay home. The wfh doesn't have much to do with it really. I presume if my colleague were a teacher they would take unpaid leave as they don't feel able to leave the child. I wouldn't take leave. I was just interested in a range of opinions, which I've got, and that's interesting, so thanks all.

OP posts:

Dieu · 03/12/2019 22:28

I would, if my child was comfortable with it, but then I work round the corner. I could get home in two minutes flat.

Dieu · 03/12/2019 22:29

Sorry, I meant that I would go to work.

countdowntochristmas · 03/12/2019 22:36

Well my son has sen so can't leave him alone anyway . He's a teenager so if someone at work wasn't aware they may think it odd that I've took day off for him . So maybe it's that.

MitziK · 03/12/2019 22:37

There's a horrible illness going round at the moment which is knocking healthy teenagers flat on their arses with massively high temperatures that refuse to respond to the usual cold compresses and paracetamol/ibuprofen - at the same time as bacterial infections of the tonsils/chest and a stomach/vomiting bug.

The kids I've sent home with it need an adult to keep an eye on them. I wouldn't be sending them home otherwise.

Bartlet · 03/12/2019 22:58

Don’t see what the issue is if she can work from home. I wouldn’t leave my dd if she was ill unless I had to even though she’s v sensible. I work far from home so couldn’t rush home if I needed to.

To be honest I work from home a lot so some days my rationale for wfh is as simple as I can’t be bothered to get dressed. Hate employers who offer it then make people feel guilty for taking them up on offer.

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