Tutor and lack of confidentiality

[TutorWoes]

My DS is tutored by a teacher who works at the school my DS attends but is not his class teacher.

The arrangement has been going well until another ( very loud) parent stopped me in the playground and said, ' My DD is now bring tutored by Miss X, like your DS' she then starts wittering on about what her child is being tutored for but I was just standing there gobsmacked. We haven't told anyone that DS is being tutored, apart from his class teacher.It was said in front of my friend who just looked confused but said nothing afterwards. I'm fuming. Why has she done this to me? I thought keeping it confidential would be a given. It's completely spoilt things now.

What do you think I should do? Its just such a shame as DS was really benefitting from the sessions but the teacher violated his privacy!

Point is the choice was taken away from me, she's just gone and blabbed to another parent. Anyway what's done is done now, got to make the best of it. I'm gonna ask loud mum what she is paying the tutor and see what she says, wonder if we are paying different rates?

I was a very successful tutor for years. I got handed round families and handed down to younger siblings too - everyone talked about tutoring with me and eventually my books were full just from word of mouth recommendations.

Yes, that's how I get most of my work too BUT that is the parents choosing to share the information which they can do if they so choose.

Also, if someone asks what experience I have, I tell them I have tutored x number of children in year y, rather than naming specific children.

Missing the point, but I'm surprised your tutor is allowed to tutor pupils in the school she works in. My friend is a teacher who also tutors, but isn't allowed to tutor children in her school, regardless of whether they are in her class.

OP, I think you need to read over your posts again. I would be annoyed about the careless regard to privacy, but if you look at the language you have used it is very emotionally loaded and catastrophising it. e.g.

It's completely spoilt things now.
violated his privacy
The tutor has gone and ruined that
blabbed, gossipped
the choice was taken away from me

I think you just need to say to the tutor next time that XX approached you and said she had discussed that your son attended her, and you would prefer in the future that she doesn't discuss him with other people.

You can have no idea whether the teacher in question volunteered that information or whether the parent got it by other means. The parent in question is hardly likely to lead off a conversation with 'Oh, I cross-examined your child about his tutoring' or 'I got my little X to ask your little Y who was tutoring him'.

(And yes some people are that petty -- I genuinely thought that the 'playdate parent checking the homework book or reading band of their child's visiting friend' was a Mumsnet myth until the (admittedly nosy) mother of a friend of DS's did it when he was over there after school one day. I realised it only when I met her at the schoolgate and she said something that referred directly to a very specific non-generic comment DS's teacher had written on his homework!)

And, OP, from the level of vitriol in your posts I thought this was going to be a personal tutor who'd divulged genuinely private information about their pupil/student's personal circumstances to someone else.

Bring it up civilly with the tutor if this is a real issue, but I wouldn't wae in with accusations. There are other ways the other parent could have got to know this.

I teacher at your ds's school shouldn't be tutoring your ds. It's conflict of interest and it's usually written into contacts. Find another tutor.

You want privacy but you think it’s ok to ask the other mum what she’s paying?

tutorwoes I see how my post reads I certainly dont go around naming other children and discussing any problems they have but i dont advertise as I do it around my job, so all is word of mouth and usually students come because they know someone who knows me or I have worked with and I am happy to discuss methods and activities - my point being what I do is not in any way secretive, if it was I would have no students

Same when I have hired a tutor. I dont expect them to name other students but I do expect them to give some background on their experience.